“I’ll get it”. He walked into the kitchen with the excuse of getting something to eat, though what he really wanted was to get away from his girlfriend for a while. “What am I doing? How the hell am I going to get out of this mess?” he thought, heaving a sigh of relief to be out of the room, even for a minute. As he entered the kitchen, occupied with his thoughts, he heard her voice, though he couldn’t see her immediately. He paused and waited silently, waiting for her to say something again.
“I know, I know!” she said. “I know it’s very stupid of me. Why else do you think I’m not telling anyone? I know nothing good can come of it, I know!” She sat at the large window that covered most of one wall in the dining room adjoining the kitchen, hidden behind the white curtain that she had pulled around her. “No, I promise you. I don’t know if I can stop thinking about this, but I promise I won’t tell him. Ever”. She was silent for a while, listening to the person she was talking to on her cell, unaware that he stood in the kitchen doorway, listening to everything she said. She let out a long sigh, and started speaking again. “Listen to me. I know all this! I know it’s very stupid to fall for a guy who’s going out with another girl. Yes, especially since I live with the girl. But, in my defence, I did like him before she did, and way before they started going out.” Another period of silence.
He was very aware of his own shallow breathing, sounding so loud to him in the empty kitchen. He knew he should move, not eavesdrop on what was clearly a personal call. But he couldn’t move. He had to know, he had to.
“I’ve already told you. I promise.” She continued talking on the phone, sounding a little exasperated now. “Yes, I know you’re only saying this with my best interests at heart, but my dear friend, it’s really not as big a deal as you’re making it out to be. I’m not going to tell him, or his girlfriend, or anyone else, and I’m sure I’ll get over him soon enough. It’s not that big a deal for me, it’s not that serious, it really isn’t!” His heart flopped over in his chest, he could feel it. “Okay, you should go and get some sleep.. it’s really very late for you. Goodnight. And thanks so much for your help!” She sounded tired and worried as she snapped her cell phone shut.
She didn’t move from her seat at the window. He didn’t move from his place at the door. There was a period of silence, and then she sighed again, long. “It’s not that big a deal for me. It’s not. Only it’s bigger. So much bigger” She said, softly, clearly. “What am I going to do?”
His feet moved of their own volition. He walked into the dining room, to the window where she sat, and pulled away the curtain. She let out a small cry as she snapped around to face him. She’d been staring out the window, lost in her thoughts; the sudden interruption was a shock. She stared up at him from her seat on the ground, and she knew that he’d heard everything.
He didn’t know what to say. He opened his mouth, found no words, and shut it again. He stood there stupidly for a minute, then, abruptly, he knew what he was going to do. He knelt down, bringing his face level with hers, his grey eyes staring into her wide brown ones. They looked into each others’ eyes silently for a moment.. Then he leaned towards her, taking his eyes off hers only at the last second, and pressed his lips against hers.
For a moment, she didn’t react. The shock of it kept her frozen in her place even as pressed her back against the side of the open window, sliding his lips across hers. Then with a deep breath, she acknowledged what was happening, accepted that she wanted it, had wanted it for a long time, and kissed him back. His right hand cupped the side of her face as he tilted his face, bracing his left hand on the window next to her head to keep his balance. She lifted her arms to his shoulders, deepening the kiss with a soft sigh.
He drew back a little, breaking off the kiss to look into her eyes, sensing her nervousness and doubt. He didn’t want there to be any doubt about his feelings in this moment, in their first kiss. She held his gaze, and then, smiled tremulously into his eyes and closed the distance between their mouths, kissing him again. This time she took the lead, tilting her head to kiss him fully, tentatively touching his lips with her tongue, letting her eyes drift shut. He made a rough noise at the back of his throat at that touch and opened his mouth to hers. His hands were at her waist as he held on to her; hers were wrapped around his shoulders as the kiss deepened.
“Did you find it?” a voice called from inside the apartment. They started, and broke apart guiltily. “Did you find the bread? You checked the top drawer, didn’t you?” He drew back from her, eyes wide and scared, taking in the implications of what he had done, what they had done. She looked back at him, doubt showing in her eyes again. After a moment, he leaned forward again, kissed her very softly on her lips, and called back as he rose. “I found it, be there in just a minute.” He crossed the room into the kitchen, found the bread that his girlfriend wanted and then paused, looking at her, sitting so still at the window, one hand on her mouth. He smiled at her, and then he was gone, back into the bedroom, the door closing behind him.