Sab ke man main bai


So fragile and closed, so hateful and cruel, never to open my heart to anyone, and then there was you.

So scared, so new, not knowing what was to come, I gave you what little I had left. Hoping that you would want me the way that I am. Timid and frightened, wanting to love again, and then there was you

A little relief from the beating that my heart took, trying to remember what it was like. You showed me that it was real and true, you touch so gentle, you saw right through.
All the pain and distrust disappeared that day, the love that consumed me felt so perfect and so right. Still hesitant to let anyone see who I really was, and then there was you.

Believing in me, trusting me, loving me unconditionally, letting go of all the fear, anger, and regret. Knowing that it is ok just to be who I am.Crying, laughing, talking, sharing emotions that I tried to hide for so long, All because there was you”

I came across this poem and was just thinking how apt it is for women who are working. They would definitely devote it to there maids. Though you must be laughing right now that this poem actually meant for the loved one but for people like me who actually survive because of our maids will devote it to them, according to me they are the people we are most concerned about. It is a very common topic I suppose.

Today I was neck deep in the thoughts as usual, I went to park with my daughter. I think that’s the best part of my day because I get to meet people I like and enjoy being with. I know most of the men will say yes the topics of discussion are same like bitching about someone, or how fat we look etc .. etc. So as like any other day i went downstairs to meet my friends as well as my daughter’s friends (How can i forget this 🙂 ). As I reached there I saw that all my friends are gathered in a big round circle and are discussing about something very seriously. Than I thought what can they be possibly talking about my mind started racing may be faster than a horse (hehe) and I joined them with n number of possibilities’ they can be talking about.

Yes I was right!!! One of my choices matched the topic of discussion and guess what it was about MAID/BAI. Gosh, hearing the word BAI/MAID makes me sick. Thought of bai taking off give me shivers. It’s a night mare trust me. It’s a vicious loop which eats or gulps you.

Anyways these are my thoughts but now I was more curious why this topic came up and than! I came to know that one of our friend was expecting a baby she is hiring some bai who is married but her husband left her. So my friend wants to employ her for full day but refused to keep her at night due to some personal reason. She is looking out for someone who can keep her for night that was a tough thing to find as no one would like to a person for night until and unless some strong need. So they asked me also, do you want to keep her at your place ? Initially I wanted but due to my past experience I have learnt its better to be away from all this. I really wanted to help her as she was home less but some how I have realised that we have to learn how to be selfish. Some people know just by intuition, some learn by mistake and some never. May be I m the last one of these three but as I have made up my mind not to try any more stunts I decided to let go and I am sure if that female is hard working and good she will find a good place to work, I was really tempted to say yes because that serves my purpose. May be in future I might repent it but now I have learnt that there is never ending to the world. No matter how difficult the bai problem you will definitely find an alternative.

But later on while thinking on above situation/conversation I realised that now female have taken all the important places in every sphere of life, but, bai topic will never be out of talks. No matter on which position you are on, if you have kids you will need a maid to help you around. She will be included in every small thing or issue of your life. I had so many sleepless nights when my last maid left I felt that time that this  is the end of world. Now I will never get anybody to help me with my child. I had so many questions in my mind not only questions so many doubts and worries. My last maid stayed with me for 2 .5 years. I never thought that giving comforts will turn them into spoilt brats. But alas!

Phew I found another bai and my problem was solved with lot of my daughter reluctance to accept changes and few adjustments from my side. Things have taken a better picture. What I believe in my case, if I can work is because I have a maid. So for me mantra is:

“With every working woman there is a good maid behind”

2 Replies to “Sab ke man main bai”

  1. Ritz,

    tune sach kaha…

    My office conversations revolve around maids all the time. 🙂

    Cheers,
    Sonal

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