Happily unmarried .


Happily unmarried .

Marriage is always a most talked about subject in the universe. the married and the unmarried  have  different opinions about marriage and its side effects .But the most baffling is , “Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasures” .As this comment admits that marriage is painful condition  but does not give celibacy the advantage of being a better state .More over the days are gone when state of being unmarried was equated to celibacy . so the subject is  a very complicated one and there are no chances of its being simplified in near future but the relevance of marriage to contentment  and stability is still there. before I venture too far from my subject let me retreat. Bachelors and spinsters have to pay different penalties for their freedom . While I explore the comic side of the price the spinsters pay the other side must be equally interesting.
One day my friend told me that spinster is a word used generally in a derogatory manner for single women (“who fail to catch a fish”, she winked and said to make her point strong)   and that was the reason she wanted me get married . Her comment challenged my sense of humor and I said “but my dictionary says, woman who can make the heads “spin” and “ stir” the heart till they die are called spinsters”. “your dictionary must have been edited by some married person whose sweetheart never married him to enjoy the freedom.” I pressed my point.  Thereafter she never commented on the issue probably for her own safety and my relief.
Then there are people who take a sympathetic view of your lot and think that you are in a state of perpetual agony because you are not married They call you for dinners  and lunches so that you should not feel left out and give you some ideas to be happy. While the gastronomical delights are welcome the other enlightenments are impenetrable .
Doubtlessly India is a democratic country because unlike any other country in the world we have all the rights and the right to interfere in others life is matchless ( with special quotas for the aunties ) .aunties can say any thing to anybody and I  think they have special civil liberties when it comes to marrying of the singles in the vicinity .  like eagles spot their preys and dash on it with matchless speed and if you are not alert enough you are married before you realize it . After the act, the happiness on their face can not be explained in words . and when they see their prey surrounded by children and nagging spouse the wily aunt giggles  to glory .
To marry or not to marry is a very personal question but in India it is personal question to be compulsorily solved by public at large and that too with a compulsion  of marring the first available kill  . the unmarried are amusingly treated like the chickens with bird flu ,married before they choose otherwise  .
My scorn is aimed  not at the institution of marriage but at the way, the reason and the mediator that people employ to get married .but that is the way things are in our society so all that can be said is long live the aunties who settle the long lasting marriages.

jyoti thatte

2 Replies to “Happily unmarried .”

  1. very nice stand and an even nice write up. I am married, and believe me, it is easier to get married than to remain married. Societies are changing fast in India and people are starting to respect the stand of Happily unmarried by choice. Kudos Jyoti!

  2. Hi,

    I feel sad that in India it is difficult to respect spinsters. They are looked upon not very nicely. I hope this scene changes. India has to come a long way before it can respect man and woman at par.

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