growing up (source: mygrandmashouse.org)

Looking at your child growing up is a different experience altogether. The kind of happiness and satisfaction it gives to a parent, especially a mother, is more valuable than winning a jackpot in a lottery. Every day is full of surprises, new stories, exciting and innocent puzzles of life to be solved by you for your little one. And sometimes shocks, too. It’s like growing up with your kid. As a mother, I love each and every moment of this as I get to witness something new every single day of my life. I learnt so many new things and I also unlearnt many things.

That day was like any other day. I had come back home from work totally exhausted, as usual. I opened the lock on the main door, gave a missed call to the day care lady so that she could send my five year old son back. In the meantime, I made a cup of milk tea for myself and changed into a pair of slacks and a worn out T-shirt. I was about to take my first sip of tea, when the door bell rang. I rushed to the door as the ringing became incessant. There I saw my son standing with his bag slung back, water bottle around his neck, and shoes full of mud. I smiled at him, but he didn’t respond, unlike his usual self. I brought him inside, freed his back from the burden of the bag, removed his dirty shoes, and took him up in my arms.

“How was your day, baby?’’, I asked him, kissing on his cheeks. He smiled weakly, not saying anything. He wriggled and broke free from my arms and quietly went into the washroom to clean his hands and feet. I was a little puzzled and concerned with his behaviour; nevertheless, I made a glass of cold milk and popcorns in the microwave. He came out of the washroom, took up his dirty shoes and kept them on the shoe rack and wore his slippers.

I placed the glass of milk and bowl of popcorns on the table next to the T.V, as he likes to have his milk watching BenTen (a cartoon character) on Pogo. I didn’t say anything, but decided to watch him silently to figure out what was wrong. To my shock, instead of switching on the T.V, he opened his school bag and took out his notebook and started doing his homework. This was really unexpected because usually I have to cajole, threaten, fight, shout, and do everything possible on this earth to make him sit and study. But here what do I see- a five year old behaving himself so well, not watching his favourite program on T.V., not looking at the popcorn bowl, and totally immersed in finishing his homework. This was too much for me to bear.

I prepared myself and went inside the room. He didn’t bother to look up. I sat next to him and tried to start a conversation.

“So this is what teacher has asked to do today?” No response, except a short ‘Hmm’ sound.

“Hey, why don’t you first have your milk, popcorns, and then do your homework? Wouldn’t you miss your favorite Benten on Pogo?” I tried again, without sounding too instructional or commanding.

“But if I don’t finish my homework and do not study, God will make me a beggar, isn’t it mummy?” came his quick, innocent and sad reply.
“Who said that to you?” I asked shocked.
“You only told me the other day mummy, that kids who don’t study and finish their homework are turned into beggars by God because He is angry with such kids. And I don’t want to be a beggar. I saw a beggar today. He was so dirty and he didn’t have any food to eat. His clothes were torn and he had no slippers to wear. People were shouting at him and he was crying.” My son’s face had turned pale by this time and he was almost on the verge of tears.

“Tell me, mummy, now that I am studying, Will God be happy with me? I don’t want to become a beggar”.

I was so taken aback that for a moment I didn’t know what to say. I just clasped my son so tightly that he had to juggle out of my grasp for want of breath. I hugged him and with a bright smile told him that he was a very good boy and God will never be angry with him, whatsoever. This revelation brought a flicker of smile on his face. But he still seemed a little flustered and doubtful.

“Well, what mummy meant was that you should not spend all your time playing and watching T.V. If you do not study for some time, you will not learn anything”, I replied meekly. I didn’t know what else to say. He seemed relaxed at that.

“Does that mean, I can watch Pogo now and study after that, and God will be okay with that?”, he asked in his usual chirpy and exuberant style. I heaved a sigh of relief. Thank God, he was his usual self, after all.

“Yes, it means that you can play, and watch T.V, have your milk and popcorns, and then study.”In his happiness, he kissed me and started dancing on the bed.

The whole incident shook me and I realized what impact all that we say to kids in our anger, desperation, happiness or excitement, has on their little minds. I couldn’t bear to see his sad and concerned face, as if the whole world is coming to an end. As a mother, I cringed at the very thought of my son like a beggar, a sight very common on Indian streets and roads, the country I belong to. But what I learnt from the whole experience was to tread with caution while saying anything to the child because you never know how he/she is going to take what you say. As a mother, I will never forget this otherwise not so important incident, as this helped me develop a healthier bond with my son, and also gave me a peek sneak into his tiny mind.

(Original posted here, reproduced with permission of the author)

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