Suicide is never a topic for laughter. However, for me, it had once been so. How could the physics class at my pre-degree college be forgotten when Ria disclosed the big blunder of hers?

Physics was the first hour. In a class with pin drop silence, the lecturer was all set with Optics.  After revising the theory taken in the previous class, we were given problems for solving. The class was on the wrestling when a sound banged in the huge class. “May I come in, Sir?”  Ria was standing at the door with a perplexed face. The eyes brows of the lecturer sharpened to see the late comer. “I won’t repeat it Sir,” It was a reflexive response. Smiles flashed across the classroom.

Finally, she convinced the lecturer and got in. I adjusted my bag for her to sit comfortably.  I stole a glance and smiled.  The necessity to overcome the boredom of the heavy classes led us into devising methods for clear communication, practiced and perfected across generations of students. Talking without lip movements, writing slips, gestures, etcetera were some very common methods. Thus began our communication.

I handed over a slip of paper to Ria. The bit read thus, “Where were you for the past two days?”

Her reply came, “I had an adventure.”

“What?”

“I committed suicide.”

I was taken aback. For a second, I was sitting liked a dunce with my mouth wide open. I kept staring at her.

“No she won’t pass such a joke to me,” I thought.

“Samyukta, have you solved the problem?” The coarse and heavy voice of the lecturer echoed in the large classroom.

“Aahm! No Sir.”

I got back at Ria.

“What?” I enquired, looking at Ria.

“Last day when I was going home from the college, I found that the */+%*# rascal, Vipin was cheating upon me.”

Vipin was her boyfriend. Therefore, he ditched her.

“Shhhh…” I tried to pacify her roaring anger. “Now do you mean to say that you went straight and committed, I mean, attempted, suicide?”

With her head down, she nodded a ‘yes.’

I stamped on her foot. She controlled the pain.

“You stupid, after all, for some guy, you were up to ending your own life? This is the limit.”

“Please don’t get out at me. Listen what happened next.”

“Oh now you want me to hear your nuisance which you would term an adventure? So, am I talking to some ghost or what?”

“No, I am alive. In perfect condition.”

“What stupid thing did you do?”

“I took rat poison.”

“Yuck! Was it tasty?”

“Sam….!” (she used to call me so)

“Okay, okay. Go ahead with your adventure.”

“At night I took rat poison. You some know something…”

“Sorry, I haven’t tasted rat poison.”

She made a face from which I felt that she would cry.  I said, “Okay. I will not pull your legs anymore. Continue.”

“After I took it, I went to Ashu’s room.”(Ashu is her brother.) “He was fast asleep. I thought of all the moments of fun that we used to have and I wept. Papa was out on official tour. Amma too was asleep. I touched her legs, asking for pardon.”

I could not control my laughter. However, I had to.

Ria continued. “Then I went to my room, sat down and wrote a suicide note. As I lay down waiting for death, I was weeping at Vipin’s infidelity. Suddenly I felt some movements in my bowels. Therefore, it was time for me to leave, I thought, though it was an odd feel. I was preparing myself for death. However, the irritation felt more like that of dysentery. I ran to the toilet. For the last two days, I was spending time in my toilet.Never again in my life am I gonna think of this stupidity. Ufff…”

I burst out in laughter. I forgot the situation and laughed to my full, when I saw the lecturer staring at me.

The next thing I remember is both of us standing at the blackboard, as punishment.

Ria said, “Such a shame standing here, with the whole class laughing at us!”

“What about a suicide?” I asked and we looked into each other’s face with a smile that we were trying to hide.

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