Have you bitten a snake before? How does it feels  like?

You must agree with me that nobody wants to experience such. But believe me I was once a victim… victim not with reptiles…but with mammals called humans which I considered as “friends”.

I miss all the moment of good times with my so called “friends” but no matter how many times I would say that I have already moved on still deep within me is disagreeing. No matter how I convinced myself that I am fine still I am not. Though I am a jolly person in nature but nobody can tell what is inside of me… inside of me is hatred, now you know!.

“ Behind my smile are tears falling down”

I don’t know why but every time I remember what they did to me, I can still feel the pain…exactly the same pain I felt before. It happened a year ago but  seems it just happen yesterday. The wound it caused is maybe healed but the scar it left will be with me forever. That every time I see it I will remember the pain it caused me.

We were so happy before, we enjoy each others company, we ate together in our work place, shared secrets and even did crazy things together and laughed from it with all out loud.

I am so in love with somebody and they all know that. Our love story was an open book to our group. They all know our ups and downs, our failures and triumphs. They all know that I am so afraid to lose that person because it would really break my heart, I truly love that person so much and they all know that. I was so good to them and I think I don’t deserve to be fooled. I feel so foolish that time not knowing what’s happening behind me.

“I was like a clown dancing to very sad music”.

The most important person in my life was stolen away from me by one of our friends and the others did not hesitate to tell me what crazy things are going on. They betrayed me, they are snakes, they bit me… traitors!. Do I or don’t have the right to know? It caused so much pain to me. I couldn’t sleep, I lost my appetite and didn’t want to go to work. I almost lost hope and courage. I lost my confidence and pride. I felt the impact of loneliness and being left behind.

My questions are… Why did they do that? They do have their own family, they’re all married. What was their intention? To prove something to hurt me? Or hurt me to prove something?

I have learned so many things from that tragic moment of my life. We must know the person/s well before laying down our cards. We should be ready for the consequences and look forward to the least impact of sorrows and heartaches. Choose genuine and true friends well, which you can depend on and will not betrayed you. Be brave and be strong in facing the risk of losing a friend. Have an open mind to accept failures and try to move on. Love yourself, do not give all… leave something for you!

For now, I am on the process of healing… healing myself alone. Someday I will found peace deep within me. I believe that writing this story will help me to move on somehow.

“Beware of snakes they might bite you! It’s painful, I know it because I felt it!”

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