“When I finally learned the essence of my existence,

I realized that I exist for someone who was born for someone else”.

For the past months I was struggling to overcome my heartaches and pains.

I was fighting my own demons inside of me.

Fighting the loneliness of being alone and being left behind.

Desperately seeking for love and true romance.

Hoping that love would heal the pain, caused by unsuccessful relationship,

failed hopes and promises, indifference and attitudes.

Looking back, I lamented on pains cause by the people I trusted,

people I loved, people who betrayed and left me.

I used to blame them, my ex’s I mean.

Burying myself in hatred and pain. But its already a thing of the past now.

Before, I am trying to show that I am okay without them but in reality I’m not.

I am hurting, hoping, wanting them back again.

At first it’s hard to accept it…

The person I loved and trusted hurts me and even leaves me.

I know I have faults of my own,

I’m not perfect but believe me I tried to work things out between us.

But I guess everything is not enough.

The tears at night, the moments of depression and having sickness

are few of the factors taken place during these hurtful stages of my life.

“Amidst of all this I found peace, I found myself and most important thing

I’ve learned some lessons about love and I myself healed by me alone.”

My questions were answered. There’s a lot of thing I should be thankful for.

Things have changed now, a different me, a different CARLY JOHN.

I learned to let go and to move on. I was healed and renewed.

Instead of hating those people,

I learned to accept the facts that there are things that are not

meant to be and there are things that happen for a reason.

Instead reminiscing all the painful memories I

now enjoy the sweet lessons learned from all of this.

Though there are lots of words that never said and things never explained

hoping in time everything will be settled and

we could go back laughing and smiling to each other again.

I have gone through a lot, I was hurt and I’ve hurt the people I loved.

I also realize having a partner after a break up is not the answer.

Engaging in another relationship after past one cannot heal it.

I’m not in a hurry to get into a relationship right away.

As of the moment I will take time to know the person before committing.

I rather find and heal myself alone.

Through this for sure I out grew some of my major flaws.

For all the pains I found serenity with God.

All the hurts I gain knowledge.

In my loneliness I found true friends.

I’m always hopeful that someday the right one will come in time….

For the meantime I’ll be enjoying life, loving and healing.

“And to all these people concerned I Love You!

You know who you are;

I want to thank you for hurting me and making

me realize that I deserve more”.

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