On snoring

 It is agreed that snoring is an awful habit.  One doesn’t acquire  it like a disease of a kind.  It comes naturally due to obstructions in your breathing system. Well, the habit could be rectified by surgeons , the ENT surgeons, to be more precise.  We are not going to discuss the medical aspect of snoring in this article  but about its side effects on the co-sleepers.

Snoring  on your neighbour’s  part would bother you if you are in a dormitory and all the occupants sleep almost neck to neck like it happens in a hostel.

When I was a  boarder  some 75 years back, we had to sleep on the floor. We were ten boys in our house.  If any one of them happens to be a snorer, your hostel life, I mean the night life could be miserable.  The trouble is, the snorer would never admit that he is a snorer. “Never.  How can I snore ever?  You are blaming  me for nothing,” he would say in his defence. If two or three of his house mates tell him that he indeed snores and snores loudly disturbing everyone’s sleep in the hostel house, he may accept his crime.  “All right, what do you want me to do about it?” he would ask reversing the  gun back in your direction.  And the accusers wouldn’t know how to answer him.

I happened to be  one of the  accusers.  We scratched our head. One intelligent student said, “We shall report the matter to the Warden..”   “What will the warden do?” a more intelligent accuser asked. “Would he send him to the hospital for an operation of his neck or what?”  Then a sudden solution dawned on me.  ”I shall pinch you and wake you up and your snoring would indeed stop. OK?”  And indeed it did  too.

So two of us took turn to pinch Robert every night.  The snoring stopped all right but poor Robert couldn’t sleep for a long time after that.

Since there was no noise from his nose, we all slept nicely. We were not bothered to know how Robert managed his day in the class room with only half sleep.

In your later adult life, the only time you would admit to your snoring is when the   complainant is your own wife. “Listen, sweet, I had been certified as a non snorer during my school days.  How could I have acquired that addiction as an adult?”.

She told me that I was not snoring but made thundering noise as if I was fighting with someone in my sleep.  She had done some  research  on it as well.  I made the war like noise whenever I lay supine on the bed.  All she did was to turn me over to the side and the  aggressive sound stopped. She didn’t lose any sleep  herself by this curative action.

Incidentally no  young mother ever loses sleep.  Often I have seen my wife changing the nappy of  our little child, tossing the nappy accurately into the bucket kept closely and resume her sleep within two and a half minutes. This she used to do twice or thrice during the night. And she never complained of lack of sleep due to baby monitoring,  on the following day.

How I wish  hostel boys could do this feat.  Robert made us spend sleepless nights on many nights.

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