No man is a hero to his valet

After winning many medals for his service when uncle Ram returned to his hometown as assistant commissioner of police he received a hero’s welcome. Though accustomed to fame, recognition in the hometown was a sweet experience for him. The big ancestral bungalow, the big post, the big success, gave him airs. In his vanity, he decided to restore the lost glory of his big ancestral house. Buddhu was an old man who had served the family since his childhood; to him the great uncle Ram was just Ram Baba.

home-gardenTherefore, when Ram Baba decided to clean up the big garden and do the landscaping himself, Buddhu protectively tried to convince him otherwise. However, the big police officer would not budge so Buddhu gave up and assisted him instead. . An axe was required to clean up the over grown trees and shrubs where the garden once existed. The unused axe was blunt so Buddhu took over the task of sharpening the axe and cleaning up the garden; he did it with great finesse. The cleaned up area was now too big to handle.

To plan a garden in half an acre was quite a job for a man with demanding job. To enjoy the beauty of a landscape and to create one are two different things uncle Ram realized it, but his ego did not permit him to accept it. He ordered all sorts of ornamental plants in quantities enough to decorate the entire garden. The pleasant but awkward disorder of jungle was there but the grace of planned garden was missing. Buddhu who was old hand in gardening, tried to interfere but was kept away because it was to be done in new style. Visitors noticed the change and few were bold enough to comment, “Something is missing”. Finally, uncle Ram decided to take Buddhu’s advice and the change was visible in few months the garden was a piece of art. The appreciation in the eyes of the visitors was obvious.

Uncle Ram was proud and basked in the shower of appreciation. Buddhu received no share of it. He was an old man and did not mind this neglect from the little master, for him uncle Ram was a kid. The newly landscaped garden was the venue for the diwali party. All appreciated the landscaped garden especially Anjali his old time sweetheart. She asked for some special tips and uncle Ram obliged. Anjali also a gardening enthusiast came as per appointment much to Uncle Rams delight. Men behave differently in front of their sweet hearts, especially so if they do not marry them.

Uncle Ram humiliated Buddhu in Anjali’s presence. Uncle ram crossed his limit when he insulted Buddhu for some unkempt flowerbed. “Bring me that spade,” he ordered, in a manner as if he did all the gardening, Buddhu was hurt. None of the family members ever treated him badly. As he was handing over the spade to uncle ram he saw a millipede crawling over, on any other day he would have got rid of the insect, knowing uncle Ram hated it or rather was afraid of it, that day he passed it on. In seconds, the crawly creature was venturing on uncle Rams hand. Having noticed the worm on his hand Uncle Ram started dancing and shouting in an attempt to get rid the crawly creature. This dancing display threw Anjali into a feat laughter. “How do you do the gardening if you are afraid of such small worm?” She asked amid her laughter.

“I don’t do it, I just stand and Buddhu does it “he revealed without thinking. Having proved a point old Buddhu could not hold back his smile.

Teachers are forever .

As for every person wishing to teach there are thirty or rather sixty not wanting to be taught .But still teachers have a special place in our life . I always wondered why teachers are so special though we grow up, our awe for our teachers remain. We achieve better degrees and better positions in society but still teachers remain special. Probably because, they are the first to open up the world of the unknown to the curious mind and human mind has a great capacity to remain thankful by instinct to those who know more. our instinctive respect for the teacher supports my statement . This respect is unadulterated , is true ,is genuine and eternal . Maybe it springs up because they are what they are. Few of my friends are teachers I always try to spot what is special in them that makes them different to the children though they as friends are typical human beings with hardly anything special .But the other day I got a clue of what is so special about them . My friend who is a teacher by profession looked upset that day . I asked her what the reason was , she gave me something to read .

diamondIt was an essay titled “my mother” written by some student , reluctantly I read on . essay was beautifully written almost gave clear idea about the writers mother . It had all the purity of a child’s expectation from the mother , it also gave an impression that the kid was yearning for some thing which the mother could not give. I looked at my friend confused as I did not get what was so distressing about it . “Liked it “ she asked “ Yes , but what is so upsetting about it , children do get emotional and write such things.”

“You are right , thinking on the same line I thought of talking it out with the kid ” she said as she gulped her snuffle . “But why are you getting emotional ” I asked impatiently. “This kid does not have a mother she died when he was one month old ”, she replied not restraining her agony anymore. She cried her heart out that day .The agony of that motherless kid was felt by her strongly she felt helpless about it .Her oneness with child’s pain, her understanding it and feeling it made her special In this case this empathy might create a bond which the child will hold dear forever .Small thoughtful comments of the teacher are cherished by many a students forever .Which convent student does not remember “child god is watching you ”of the nuns .

The watchful eye of god becomes visible many a times when we are on the verge of a misdeed , we believe in it because our teachers told us so. Teachers are silent witnesses to childish gimmicks, the impish adventures ,the indescribable twinges of growing up.. Their involvement in the growing process is like that of genetic material which is absent to the eye but visible through the traits. `we are all what our teachers made us. The spontaneous respect for them is just a small impulsive gesture to thank them .

But teachers like diamonds , are forever .

Sans you

withoutMuch time has limped past since you,

Strange, but still I breathe the air sans you,

Sleepless night wakes unto the morning dew,

Fragrance of blossom stale without you,

Brined leaves bid the noon adieu,

As the feverish day struggles without you,

Reluctantly the sky lit ups the blue,

But the moon smiles sadly without you,

Star decked sky replaces the evening hue,

Meekly I bear the stars without you.

Non-violence begins at home

The philosophy of non-violence is the backbone of peaceful coexistence. The father of the nation has done every possible thing to make the nation understand the importance of non-violence. But the way things have preceded after independence the importance of nonviolence goes on increasing. There is violence all around, that makes us doubt whether we deserved the selfless sacrifices of the great leaders like the Mahatma.

This trend of berserk violence is thankfully broken in day to day life when non violence is beautifully practiced by some insignificant person in day to day life . we may call it Munnabhai effect but certainly non violence and satyagraha are here to stay and that too at the grassroots level . I know my claims are tall but mind you they are not false, thanks to director of Munnabhai series . Nowadays they call it Gandhigiri but that is like Bombay becoming Mumbai rest remains the same. In the era of incessant violence the philosophy of Gandhigiri is a welcome break .It is easy to resort to violence than to practice Gandhigiri. They say for a revolution to happen common man has to be involved, the same is true for Gandhigiri .for non violence to become the way of life it has to be practiced in our day to life .Here is a small example how it can be practiced .

Eating out at a restaurant the other day my attention was caught by a little lad who came at my table to see what we were eating. He went back to his parents seated on the next table and told them to order the something that we had ordered .The father protested but give up to kids demand saying, “If you order you will have to eat it ”,to which the child agreed. The hotel was renowned it took some time before the food could be served .The little boy went around inspecting what was going on at other tables . The food arrived and he started eating .The hyperactive kid could not sit to finish it .and started loitering in the restraint inquiring loudly about the food being eaten . By now the parents were looking quite agitated but were not able to control the kid .But the father was firm as not to shout at the kid, his mother wanted him to tell the kid to behave himself. By now most of the customers were irritated but non protested . The waiter caught the kid and made him sit at his table to the embarrassment of the parents .

kid-manners-restaurant-lgThe father finally interfered and told the kid to order every thing he wanted and that he will have to eat every thing he orders. In few minutes their table was jam-packed with different dishes . The lad now sat eating, but very soon the enthusiasm to eat vanished, as the small stomach was full. The hyperactive kid wanted to go home . “we are not leaving till you finish everything ”,said the father firmly . The kid was almost in tears. They sat there for a long time. “sorry dad I will not do it again ”, the little boy said. The father ordered the waiter to pack the food left . They left the place peacefully .

The little boy learnt the lesson his father wanted him to learn . He could easily have forced the child to behave but made it realize that his behavior was improper. all was done in a very peaceful and compact manner without resorting to any violence .the impact on the child will definitely be long lasting .plus the child learns the art of nonviolence by imitation. Let us find such innovative ideas to practice nonviolence so that the legacy of peaceful coexistence is passed on as a way of life and is learnt just by imitation .

lady luck’s sire

Man’s romance with uncertainty since times unknown has kept him from proclaiming himself the master of this universe. Science may have made a lot of progress but still our future is dark . By dark I do not mean the darkness because of power cuts but I am referring to the uncertainty that we have about future .  I simply mean that no one knows what tomorrow has in store for him . we are all equal in that regard, god has given uncertainty to all rich or poor ,fat or slim , no one knows the future . we keep guessing and expecting the best to happen to us . In short, all our actions are to safe guard our future but still the vagueness remains . we have invented many ways to entertain ourselves with the assurance of safe tomorrow. We have palmistry , we have astrology, we have taro and so on and so forth . but none can tell us what the future has in store for us .One of my friends died two days after an astrologer said he would live for hundred years .This reminds of a story my granny had told me .

palmistry3Once a boy went to a palmist to know his future . The palmist said your future is in dark as there is no fate line on your hand .The boy went back very sad . He thought for days to improve his future. Few days later he returned to the palmist and asked where the fate line was on the hand. the palmist explained the position of the fate line on the hand. The boy went back and traced the fate line with a blade on his palm. He then went back to the palmist and asked him his future. The palmist replied son you are the master of your own destiny. The boy was surprised he asked “ But you had said my future was in dark ”, the palmist replied “As it is, you are the master of your destiny, but earlier you did not have the spirit to ensure a bright future for your self ,now you have the spirit to ensure the best life for yourself”. The  boy went on to become a  very successful person.  The moral of the story is we reap as we sow, we are what we plan for our self . But when we fail, instead of understanding that our efforts were not proper we choose to blame it on the stars as it is the easiest thing to do .There are people who  follow all sorts of rituals to get the stars to favor them but sadly no star favors them and they waste their life without putting in proper efforts to achieve their goals in life . In short some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run only half way to meet it and forget that good luck was standing with open arms to greet them at the finish line .

To be the master of our own destiny we have to put forth the best effort .Only then can we understand the concept of luck . Only then can we understand that people always call you lucky when you act more sensibly than they have .

C for adults A for children

best-friends24Child is a father of a man,” said some one great. I always wondered what might have been the reason behind such a statement. Till one day I realized that child is actually the teacher who leads us out of difficult situations. The Analogy is not far fetched if you consider what happened with me the other day. I had a upsetting fight with one of my friend, considering the sizes of our egos a patch up was next to impossible . The fact that both of us are always right made it more difficult. In addition, the fact that we are best friends meant that it needed rectification urgently. Because friends are friends you always need them though you do not want them to know that they are indispensable.

My nephew Kartik too had a fight with his friend Rohan, entered the house grumbling that he would never talk to Rohan again .Saying this, he proceeded to the kitchen to eat something. After that, he slept for an hour and later came back only to inform me that he was going to Rohan’s house to play. “But you said you would never talk to him again” “Because I was angry then,” he went away without giving further explanation. He never showed any regret about it thereafter. The idea struck me. I too called up my friend and tried to talk as if nothing had happened but the moment she heard my voice she hung up. Now I did not know what to do. So I called up kartik and asked what would he do if Rohan did not talk to him? He coolly replied, “I will talk to sachit” Taking a cue I phoned up another friend of mine who incidentally had gone visiting the one with whom I had a fight .Taking advantage of the chance I kept on talking to her without bothering to keep my conversation short.

This childish gimmick worked and my angry friend got angrier and shouted into the phone “why don’t you come down if you want to talk so long”. I followed her instruction with out any delay and was at her place even before she could imagine anything else. On seeing me all she could say was “you are mad” which I pretended to have not heard. “The hurt the ego the snobbery of adulthood contributes only to add soreness in life”, I gave her a sermon. When things cooled down, I told her that I did as kartik directed. As arguments are not very singular, a day soon dawned when another happened, I with my inflated ego, fumed inside, only to Reach the finality that enough is enough no more of it. while this was on I saw my friend coming, I gave her a cold treatment but still she settled down and asked me a glass of water which I did give . She splashed it across my face and said, “My daughter said put aunty in water if she gets angry , since it is not possible to put you in water I did other wise.” She smiled and said, “That’s how children settle their scores, that day you came, not because you missed me, but because your nephew asked you to, and your ego did not allow you to admit that you missed me, today I am here because my daughter asked me to”.

She was right I realized that we are full-grown adults and nothing on earth can return us the innocence of childhood.

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.

interview-panel

Every one is born with certain arrogance and lives with it in spite of attempts to tone it down. The contribution of conceit in generating smiles is immense but rarely appreciated. If you see it from proper perspective, all the smiles are but manifestation of conceit. If you do not agree read on to know what happened with me on a single day, which will help you see my perspective.

I got up that day to see the sun smiling gloriously into a cheerful day. as I stupidly rubbed sleep out my eyes the doorbell rang, a smiling milkman mocked “abhi uthe kya”,  his tone meant lazy women I have been awake long enough to milk the cow and serve the milk at your door step and you lazy woman you would take ten more minutes to bring the vessel. Irritated I hurried.

Hurry means worry and I experienced it that day. As I hurried back with milk, I slipped on the wet floor. The thud generated panic and all the household was hovering over me with smiles on their faces. the milkman , the smiles, the delay every thing seemed annoying that day but daily responsibilities like god, are above everything , you have to follow them . I proceeded for the office, at the signal a child sitting comfortably on the mothers lap smiled at me as I waited anxiously for the signal to go green, I looked away. However, smiles generates curiosity so I looked back again, it smiled again. As if mocking at the futility of my anxiety while the light took its sweet time to turn green. Irritated at the way the day had begun I entered the office. The peon enquired

“Aaj bahut gusse main ho” while he sat smiling amid his misery, I continued over looking him as insignificant.

“I thought you were on leave today”, my colleague smilingly enlightened me. That reminded me of a job interview, for which I had taken leave.

“I had left something important in the drawer” I excused smartly concealing that I had forgotten that I was on leave.

As there was no time left, I chose to proceed for the interview with out the documents. The interview was in a hotel so I waited in the lobby after informing the receptionist. The plush air-conditioned lobby provided a cozy atmosphere. A man arrived and sat next to me. I looked at him and looked away as if it did not matter. Charming as he was, initiated a talk immediately.

“Are you here for the interview?”

“You too?” I cross-questioned. He nodded.

We discussed issues related to my job and other topics.

“I am impressed” he smiled.

“Makes no difference ,whoever impresses the devil inside gets the job , I   know you will get it because I don’t have my original papers today .and who will hire a stupid woman who forgets her interview date and time ” I replied .the  receptionist signaled and he walked off .I wished him luck and he smiled. In ten minutes, I was called for. The interviewer was the gentle man I met in the lobby.

“This devil gives you the job, congrats”, he said before I could say any thing. My application had my photograph and he had recognized me. He laughed at his own smartness leaving me to wonder was it his haughty ness or my stupidity.

Weapon called non violence

ViolenceSchool_en-Lottein_schools_III_small-1“Pick up the newspaper or switch on television the first you see is violence and cruelty” murmured my mother putting down the newspaper she enthusiastically reads everyday. My nephew who was passing by commented “Nani , don’t read the bad news read only the good articles and see only the channels that do not show violence you will not feel disgusted” . He said it without giving much thought to what he had said but that was gen next advice to the old generation and what an apt idea it was to stay away from the violence that surrounds us.

Violence has existed since times unknown the only difference is with the advent of television it has entered our drawing room. The heat of Jaipur blast can be felt equally in Nagpur because of the channels beaming it 24 × 7 hours. You can not escape it. Then how do we live in this violent and cruel world. Just switch it off is the new mantra.
Human mind has a tremendous capacity to adjust to the environment that is how it has survived the violent past. A child living in the war affected areas of the world learns to survive amid the bombings and the cross gunfire’s. It lives amid violence but still does not take to violence till it comes face to face with it. This happens because there is an instinctive urge to survive so the mind develops a mechanism that automatically shuts off in event of bloodshed.

A child from the war affected area smiles as innocently as a child from the area of peace. It is because the kids practice philosophy of peaceful existence even in the face of violence. We keep talking of non violence and peace but do not have the will to practice it. On the discovery channel we often see a herd of herbivores grazing quietly even when they are aware that the tiger is around. They enjoy the green grass even in the shadow of terror. Even the terror of death does not deter them from enjoying the pleasure of life.that does not mean we should remain insensitive to the violence that shows up the ugly face every now and then. By giving undue attention to the terror acts we make heroes out of villains.

The people of our nation have always given apt answer by returning to normal life at the earliest after the terror acts.
A pair of sparrows would build its nest in my friend’s bathroom .my friend would angrily pull it down. But after few days it was there again the same violent destruction would follow. One day my friend gave up saying “How many times should I destroy someone’s home”. Today she narrates me the stories of the happy sparrow family, about the achievements of the young sparrows. She protects the nest from the predators, when Mrs. Sparrow is away. Nature teaches us how to survive in face of violence.

Gandhiji’s freedom fighters nonviolently faced the lathi’s and guns of the British soldiers. Some were killed, some injured but still there were enough people to face the onslaught. There is no doubt that violence propagates panic but it is here that the philosophy of non violence takes charge. The weapon called non violence is strong enough to tackle any attack.

Feminine instinct

dadar Mumbai is a fast city; I realized it when I entered a “ladies compartment” of a fast local train in the busy direction. While all the sweaty stinking women pushing me gave me odd looks, making me believe that I occupied more space than I paid for. However, my dimensions being more than the average Indian I neglected them as being envious. While I stood sandwiched, there were others seated comfortably discussing household troubles as the chaotic crowds alighted and reentered the busy compartment as various stations passed. Some were cleaning the vegetables as comfortably as we do in our kitchens .while others were arguing with the vendor over price of a bob pin.

While I curiously observed them Dadar station was approaching, I made my way towards the gate and was on the station before I realized. It is scary to be a part of the titanic mechanism of Mumbai’s lifeline. Your nothingness stares you in face making you a non-entity in the fast moving world. As I waited for my train, I observed beggar woman pestering a woman on the railway station. The woman took out a coin and extended her hand. The beggar woman reacted oddly, she turned walked away and came back and said some thing to the same woman, who got annoyed and drove her away. The same thing happened when she approached another woman. On any other day, I would not have paid any heed to what a beggar woman does, as my train was scheduled one hour later, my gaze followed her. Her targets were a particular set of women she did not ask alms to every passenger. Though I was waiting for a long time she did not approach me with her request that all turned down. Half an hour passed the same thing continued and I became suspicious. Was she a really beggar? Why was she approaching a select group? After watching her closely, I found that her cloths were dirty but not exactly tattered. This fact deepened my doubt. Visiting Mumbai just after the bomb blast I was on guard since the time I landed in Mumbai. I sat in fear just watching her closely. Her activities were weird but harmless. Nevertheless, self-preservation is a strong instinct. I thought of reporting the matter to the platform police officer. ???Let me check out for five more minutes??? I said to myself.

However, what happened immediately after did not allow me those five minutes. An educated looking man approached and gave her something she took it happily. Who was he? What did he give her? What did she say to her? What was their plan? With all the questions in my mind, I headed towards the police help centre. Like any alert citizen, I informed about the beggar woman’s activities. After listening to me carefully a constable answered back in a hoarse voice of a police wala, “kyu dimag phirata bai, woh toh pagla ladki hai, woh sab bai log ko gajra mangta hai, naya log usku paisa dene ko bolta to nahi leta,woh juna log usko paichanta hai. Tumko taras diya kya?” He said observing my short hair cut .I replied negatively.

Not completely satisfied with the answer and angry at his casual approach I came back to the place where the woman was. She was talking to an old woman who handed over the flowers wrapped in dry leaves to her. She took it happily and put the flowers in her hair as she ascended the stairs to the station bridge. A local train came and the old woman went away leaving me to wonder, who she was? Why was she so caring for a beggar woman? On second thought, her demand was just a bunch of flowers but no one gave her that. Her feminine instinct remained intact in her madness also but only an old woman understood her. That same feminine instinct prevented the women from giving away the flowers that they wore in their hair. Though insignificant, flowers had a great importance for all these women. My behavior was just another color of feminine qualities curiosity and unreasonable anxiety. Though convinced about the harmlessness of the beggar woman I was relieved only when the train left the station and was far away from the busy Mumbai station.

Survival

 survival-425

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behold that flower smiling on the rock,

No soil to anchor yet straight stiff stalk,

Catching some water sailing in the air,

Lonely yet smiling overlooking all care,

 Not loved like the lilies or the red roses,

Yet it smiles taking lovely poses,

Why and how no one knows,

Still unnoticed, every year it grows.

Peace and tolerance, the new religion

PEACEThere are many religions that claim to lead the inhabitants of our planet to salvation. But the scenario today says that there is some confusion relating the term religion that is gripping the world today. If you refer the dictionary, the meaning of religion is given as the belief in superpower and a way to obey and worship that power. This is what, we have been believing since ages and that is what people think is the meaning of religion and so different ways are use to please that superpower .yet today we are heading towards and living in the mid of destruction than have all our prayers gone unheard or is there something wrong with us. Yes, it is in our interpretation of this super power that we have gone wrong.

Different people have different interpretations and now this confusion has reached its prime. We think that our way of relating to god is best way and any other way is faulty. That is where the problem is, in intolerance. If god realization is the ultimate aim of all religions then different religions are like different rivers all heading towards the ocean following different routes. But unlike rivers we try to establish supremacy over each other loose sight of our aim of god realization. When two rivers meet or cross each other a beautiful confluence is the result and together they move towards the aim that is the ocean. Nature sets example for us to follow but we do not follow it. God can be realized by love and peace there is no other way that leads to Him.

So today when the world is sitting on the hatred bomb which is more lethal than the atom bomb the best way to coexist is to follow the religion of tolerance and peace. Live and let live is the mantra of coexistence there is no other way. Peace is the god and tolerance is the religion of the day. The winds of the need to realize god are blowing strongly today than ever before, now it is up to us to build the walls of hatred or to build windmills to convert this strong wind into positive energy. It is this discretion of the world community that will make way for the future generations or to coexist in peace or to continue the war of hatred till the end of the world.

Tackling life after divorce

broken-heartThe divorce rates are up say the latest figures. Returning to the father’s home is the option many of Indian women go for. When Shivani returned to her father’s home after her filing the divorce papers initially everybody sympathized with her but when it became clear that there was no chance of reconciliation she felt alone, and had to face the reality of divorced life. She had resigned from her job to take care of her children and now after the divorce she was jobless and penniless. With the number of self assertive women growing this is one of the problems that present it selves often. There is a need to deal with the problem as the supports system has its own flaws. It is important that the women involved should become independent. The process of confidence building is long and complex and many women are afraid that they may not be able to cope up with the problems that may come their way. So it is common for women to experience fear after divorce about the uncertainty life may present. That fear is simply unreal thoughts appearing to be real.

Women have tremendous capability to fight the odds of life .after divorce this capability is tested to its optimum. And the responsibility towards their children makes them even stronger. In the case of Indian women where divorce is still a new concept the protectiveness of maykawalas is a big problem though they may mean good but this pushes the women in deeper problems than solving their problems. Because most of the times the independence and decision making capacity takes a toll. The confusion in mind is truly and utterly false and momentary. Like any other women they are capable. As a divorced woman, life changes in a major way so do plans for future. After divorce there is a need re-establish your life, retune your goals and major decisions are yours alone to make. As frightening as this all can seem, uncertainty should be used as a splendid motivator and an important mechanism leading to success. Facing doubts head on must be seen as a challenge that has to be dealt with even in confused state – Take Action! Consider your uncertainty as tests especially designed for your growth and strengthening, and then take action! Don’t worry too much about results; simply take action even as still afraid. There are chances that you may fail but enjoy failures too. Like jumping from a cliff into an inviting body of water, it is likely that you will always be afraid to do so as long as you are thinking about it. In fact, the longer you entertain your fears, the more likely you are to talk yourself out of the plunge and walk away from the cliff’s edge instead. But at some point, in order to enjoy the water’s refreshing coolness, you have to take your fears with you and jump anyway.

Afterward, you will find your strength and your confidence enhanced by the knowledge that you are stronger than your fears and you are capable of action even while afraid. What is it that you are afraid of now? Perhaps it is a return to college for an advanced degree after taking a drop for few years. Perhaps you are afraid of taking a new position, changing careers, moving to a new location or just of being the sole caretaker of your children. Whatever your fears are, use them as a challenge. Make overcoming them your mission as you forge ahead.

The following action steps are designed to help you face your fears after a divorce: 1. Take care of your health as that is the most important factor in confidence building process. Mental strength depends on the fitness. 2. Plan to succeed even in small things like not loosing your calm. Do not allow yourself to be burdened with what ifs. Instead, target your goals and clearly define the steps that you will need to take to achieve them. 3. Do what you can today to place yourself in a better position tomorrow. Each day, take action toward your goals in order to inch yourself closer to them. Even baby steps are fine as long as you are taking them in the right direction. Do not loose sight of your goal by indulging in self pity. 4. Take time to encourage yourself daily. Appreciate yourself as you would appreciate others. Talk to yourself as you would a dear friend or your children.

Remind yourself that you are strong, that you are capable and remind yourself of all that you have already overcome much difficult problems in life. Many women have been where you are now. They have faced insurmountable odds, they have been terrified out of their wits and they have refused to let either stop them. You can and you must do the same. You are powerful, competent, able-bodied and free to pursue every one of your dreams. You may make mistakes along the way, but they will be counted as worthwhile lessons, which will sharpen your skills. Know this and, even as you are afraid, proceed anyway. Divorce does not mean that life can not start again. Think clearly about your plans to get married in future if you meet a person of your liking. Do not hesitate to take a plunge if you really like somebody.

B+ve

optimism_yellow Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, too determined to be defeated. When I read these lines I suddenly thought about my friend. Some people are born strange, no I mean to say weird or would the word odd suit her, or rather I should say eccentric or let me tell you she’s weird but wonderful. Now that’s what happens when you talk to her or even when you talk about her.

She is always confused and always confuses others .But still there is so much you can learn from her. Some people are born to survive in adversity she is one of them. I always wonder whether she runs into bad times or bad times follow her. But god has given her the strength to smilingly bear everything. The other day she phoned me up and said “I phoned you to tell you something funny”.

I knew some thing confusing will follow, “you know now days my mother falls down for no reason, doctor says she’s having vertigo, but the funny thing is now I cook whatever I like”. It’s her style of washing away worry with the detergent called smile. Looking after a father suffering from Parkinson’s disease this was an additional problem which worried her but she saw only the positive side. With no one to help she takes care of her parents single handedly. Unlike so many people who just run away from their duty for some reason or other. Their parents have to take shelter in the old age homes despite the fact that their children are alive.

Another person I know is exactly opposite. It is said optimism is cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea-kettle to sing, though in hot water up to its nose. Then pessimism can well be defined as that state of mind makes the ship sink even when it is on the shore. One person I know had a similar problem both her parents were old and under the weather. With lot to do at the office and home she opted to settle her parents at an old age home studded with all facilities. The old couple could not accept the rejection of the children and left for heavenly abode soon after, even before the children could realize the folly. Now the woman regrets and feels she should have tried to accommodate them in her house which was big enough. But she gave up thinking she may not be able to do it and besides it was duty of her brothers to look after her parents. She had even boasted about her paying the bill of the five star old age home. But today she is left with nothing but the guilt. She has paid a heavy price for being a pessimist. Not all are unlucky as her.

But We can do a lot by keeping our outlook positive

House husband’s tale

hhMany learned people have recommended voyage as the best way to gain wisdom. One is always exposed to the latest social conditions and the changes in the trends while traveling. And if one gets the delight of traveling in the side berth of ac compartment of the great Indian railway one is three times wise. I say so because from that position one is exposed to three different worlds at the same time. I happened to be in that lucky position recently and I can claim that I have returned wiser.

It so happened that while pretending to sleep, I over heard the conversation of the group of women sitting across. It is the subject of their conversation that makes it quotable. They were probably employed with some IT firm and were earning a handsome salary. Their conversation was about some colleague who was absent. One of them asked, “Where is her husband working?” all of them answered back in chorus, “he is a house husband” and a fit of sarcastic laughter followed. “He serves her tea with water and biscuits “. Some one added. “And also does all the household jobs like looking after the kid and maintaining the household”. They kept on adding the details.  I opened my eyes to observe the feeling behind the conversation. None of them had any respect for the guy who was coping so wonderfully with his own unemployment and his wife’s employed status. Instead they chose to ridicule the guy. I suddenly felt sympathetic towards this unknown fellow. It comes to me as a surprise that women who are always up in arms for equality do not like men catching up in this regard.

We fail to understand that the household chores were assigned to women because they could not go out and earn a living for the family. Now with changing times both the genders have equal chances of earning a living for the family so what is the problem if the man of the house decides to wear the apron while the woman chooses to wear the pants. It is the dignity of labor that we must respect than the fact who earns what. In the era when opportunities are plenty so it is a difficult preposition for either of the partner to stay at home and look after the home and the kid. Women had been doing the household chores for ages and men the earning business for long times but the recent change in roles is bound to create some ripples in the Indian  society , where men are not supposed to enter the kitchen and help in daily chores it is thought to be unmanly. This scenario was expected to change when the women entered the areas which were supposed to the strongholds of men.

There is always a great hue and cry about the fact that women are perpetual victims of over burden and that they have to manage the household chores despite having good jobs. The mother in law is always blamed for not educating her son to cope up with an educated wife .but the fact is women are so much in the grip of traditional patriarchal thinking that they themselves are responsible for their lot. And the sad part is educated girl are more orthodox in their thinking when in come to their partner helping them in daily chores. Till the time we stop ridiculing the educated men who respects the dignity of labor and try to help their wives in this age of recession when every penny is important I can do nothing but narrate the househusband’s tale.

Imprudent love

I am a fool from reality apart,

Foolish is my love,

Crazy is my heart,

The pangs of madness,

The hurt in inanity,

The pinching pain of eternal craziness,

The world mocks my foolishness,

Scornfully ridicules my dreaminess,

I humbly ignore their ruthlessness,

For the crazy world does not know,

The value of my priceless dreams,

My daily sustenance, on which I grow.

what is destiny

 The imperceptible force that is beyond human understanding is popularly called destiny. We become aware of it when something good or bad or something specially shocking and unexpected happens. When such a thing happens human mind seeks solace in god. The confidence in one’s ability is lost and the hapless mind seeks the unknown and that prompts the search for God, the omniscient. Even an eagle falls short of strength in the face of storm so also the most talented, the most efficient people face defeat in trying circumstances. It is here that the debate whether man is the architect of his own destiny or the destiny shapes a man begins. The hundreds of people who died in recent terror attacks were preys at the hands of cruel destiny. They were innocent people who lost their lives for no fault. Some were killed some escaped the death by a whisker. Some escaped unscathed but will carry the trauma for many days to come. Many ministers have resigned but after that what have the home minister, the prime minister or the defense minister or even the lady above all ministers done to ensure our safety. When we see such incidents the puzzle about destiny deepens .we end up thinking human inefficiency is behind such episodes. And is it not cruel on part of destiny that the country with a second biggest population should not have one good statesman to see that the ten dastardly hooligans do not put us on tenterhooks for sixty odd hours. One accepts it as thing beyond our control when it is something like tsunami or the earth quake or even the draught. Yet the picture of Jesus Christ nailed to the cross makes us think why this great human being had to endure so much pain. Should we just accept it as human destiny? Despite all the pain and suffering one does his best to survive .The teachings and the path shown by the great leaders gives us strength to endure the sufferings and we start believing in “nothing happens to anything which that thing is not made by nature to bear”. They say it is our duty to do our best to steer our life in the direction of happiness and prosperity. We cannot depend on destiny alone to take us to this goal. “Aspirations, love and hope are boats on endless streams, yet madly we chase these deceptive dreams.” Human mind is ever hopeful. And this quality of human mind helps man take up the several harsh blows that destiny has to offer. The girl who was hit in her head at the CST went ahead with her marriage with a part of the bullet embedded in her head. Such brave people show us how to take destiny by its horns when it goes wild. The announcer who kept his cool and dispensed his duty when the terrorists were showering bullets has changed the course of destiny for so many people. So can we by doing our duty sincerely be the masters of our own destiny and also pave the road to happiness for others. Man is very frail compare to the other creation of god but the only thing that makes him powerful is his hope and expectation for that destiny smiles at him.

mother’s are great

019_Elephant-Mother-&-Baby-Some frustrated mother once said “A mother! What are we really? They all grow up whether you look after them or not.” .No one should take such statements from mothers seriously as we know mothers mean exactly the opposite when they say such things. After all it’s our mothers who made us believe in the proverb that “God could not be every where so he made mothers”. After observing many mothers and their brood I have come to a conclusion that mothers behave like uncrowned sovereign. They are diplomatic, ruthless, sensitive protective, concerned and ever loving and can go to any extreme for the well being of their litter. Mothers are truly peerless in that regard.
While most of us acknowledge their ultimate position it is always a delight to know the little big things they do for our well being. Two mothers were concerned over the news that the government was trying hard to make the electricity available throughout the day .i.e. 24×7. Most of us would have called it a cruel joke but these women were concerned. Both of them were working mothers and power cut helped them in keeping their kids away from television. Only a mother’s brain can put such a powerless situation to such powerful use.

Recently I was convalescing in a nursing home for dehydration due to jaundice which induced persistent vomiting. While the saline dripped in I looked around to amuse myself. I could see an old lady attending to some patient on the other side of the partition. She smiled back in an assuring way and walked up to my bed to ask my sister what was wrong with me. My sister informed and enquired about her patient. She was attending to her sixty years old son who was a diabetic.   My sister rushed to call the ward boy when she saw the old lady get up to help her son to the toilet. The old lady and her hefty son were back before my sister could manage to get help. The lady revealed she had five more sons and two daughters but she never trusts any body because no body can be better than a mother. At the age of eighty five this super mom was taking care of her son because she believed that mothers are the best caretakers of their children and there are very few who would disagree with her.

There are innumerable tales of sacrifices made by mothers. We regularly come across mothers who work hard to feed their children when the father fails to earn bread for his children. We have heard of mothers donating their kidney to save their child.  There are innumerable tales of sacrifices of mother.  No wonder motherless children consider themselves unlucky.

The reactions of mothers are the same every where. The protective attitude of the mother transcends above caste creed species education and any and every thin. The other day all TV channels were beaming picture of a female elephant and the calf that fallen in a pit. First the mother tried everything she could to pull the calf up when she failed she raised an alarm .while the crowd pulled up the calf she stood watching carefully every move. And as soon as the calf was out it ran away in the safety of the jungle.
Somebody has said “mother is not the person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary”, but every body needs mother to lean on in tough time.

non violence vs violence

ACCIDENT, a condition of affairs, in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body better. I agreed with this droll definition of accident when the other day I read that the crowd set afire vehicles after a speeding truck killed a youth on Pardi Naka. It was yet another instance of displaced violence and so I dismissed it as one of the regular things which finds place in our newspapers. Having never had a feel of such incidence, we are fed up of reading such news. But when someone close to us becomes a victim of such incidence we understand why the scribes pay so much attention to such news.

riot-at-un-conferenceIt was Sunday and one of my friends asked me to read a particular article in a vernacular paper. The article was about my lecturer at the SFS College who got caught up in the riots that broke after the accident at Pardi Naka. The windows and other glass screens of her car were smashed. Even after the incident she continued her tour and returned to Nagpur after delivering the lecture for which she was going to Lakhni .I shuddered imagining the situation and what she might have gone through while the crowd attacked the car. The thought provoked a curiosity and concern and I visited her the following day and quizzed her about it.

She was her normal self cool and smiling and ready with a cup of coffee. I asked her whether she panicked when the crowd came with torches and the stones smashed the windows. She coolly said “I was more worried for the driver and the young couple that accompanied me”. Her focus was more on the lecture that she had to deliver and the fact that a young and beautiful girl was accompanying her. The young couple that was with her was under her care she felt the responsibility even when she was at the receiving end of the misplaced rancor. I felt proud that I was her student and told her so. I had read the review of her lecture at Lakhni and knew that she was as usual very good and entertaining. She further said just when she was entering the limit of Nagpur city she informed the family members about the incidence so that they should not get a jolt on seeing the badly injured car. When she reached home and every body saw what damages the car had suffered and all they did was to send the car for repairs immediately. As the damaged car would have sent panic waves.

A fitting response from the brave family. On reflecting on the above incident it can be confidently said the violence can be effectively tackled by keeping the head cool in adverse situation. It is generally said that educated people give lectures about peace because they are not at the receiving end of the violence. But if we see in detail the news regarding the responses of the sane in such cases we are pleasantly surprised that they generally face it boldly and continue as if nothing has happened.

Though such instances leave a deep scar on their mind but by setting a brave example they teach us the best way to deal with violence.

destiny

Destiny-Calligraphy-Poster-C12331207The imperceptible force that is beyond human understanding is popularly called destiny. We become aware of it when something good or bad or something specially shocking and unexpected happens.

When such a thing happens human mind seeks solace in god. The confidence in one’s ability is lost and the hapless mind seeks the unknown and that prompts the search for God, the omniscient. Even an eagle falls short of strength in the face of storm so also the most talented, the most efficient people face defeat in trying circumstances. It is here that the debate whether man is the architect of his own destiny or the destiny shapes a man begins. The hundreds of people who died in recent terror attacks were preys at the hands of cruel destiny. They were innocent people who lost their lives for no fault. Some were killed some escaped the death by a whisker. Some escaped unscathed but will carry the trauma for many days to come.

Many ministers have resigned but after that what have the home minister, the prime minister or the defense minister or even the lady above all ministers done to ensure our safety. When we see such incidents the puzzle about destiny deepens .we end up thinking human inefficiency is behind such episodes. And is it not cruel on part of destiny that the country with a second biggest population should not have one good statesman to see that the ten dastardly hooligans do not put us on tenterhooks for sixty odd hours. One accepts it as thing beyond our control when it is something like tsunami or the earth quake or even the draught. Yet the picture of Jesus Christ nailed to the cross makes us think why this great human being had to endure so much pain. Should we just accept it as human destiny? Despite all the pain and suffering one does his best to survive .

The teachings and the path shown by the great leaders gives us strength to endure the sufferings and we start believing in “nothing happens to anything which that thing is not made by nature to bear”. They say it is our duty to do our best to steer our life in the direction of happiness and prosperity. We cannot depend on destiny alone to take us to this goal. “Aspirations, love and hope are boats on endless streams, yet madly we chase these deceptive dreams.” Human mind is ever hopeful. And this quality of human mind helps man take up the several harsh blows that destiny has to offer. The girl who was hit in her head at the CST went ahead with her marriage with a part of the bullet embedded in her head. Such brave people show us how to take destiny by its horns when it goes wild. The announcer who kept his cool and dispensed his duty when the terrorists were showering bullets has changed the course of destiny for so many people.

So can we by doing our duty sincerely be the masters of our own destiny and also pave the road to happiness for others. Man is very frail compare to the other creation of god but the only thing that makes him powerful is his hope and expectation for that destiny smiles at him

“Daily Hope”.

newspaper_5 I picked up the newspaper and started reading. The headlines were unusual so I checked the name of the newspaper “Daily Hope”. I shrugged in sarcasm “these newspaper walas keep on sending free samples of their papers” I kept on reading trying to find out what was so special about the newspaper.

 The difference in the headlines was striking. “The American president apologizes to the world community for all the wrong doings of the ex-American presidents” that was unthinkable so I proceeded ahead further and read, “The ruling party and the opposition have cleared important bills much ahead of scheduled time thus reducing the cost of running the parliament”. Madly I read further, “Pakistan to hand over all the terrorists to the Indian government” I turned the page and found that the page three had the photos and the lifestyles of real achievers like the scientists , it also had a story of a farmer who set record by achieving the highest produce per acre in the country. The story of a poor woman who worked as day labour under difficult situation while suffering from cancer to educate her daughter was the most touching.

I turned to the page that covers national news it was a surprise that there was no report of accident, rape or burglary, instead one head line read “PWD saves hundred crores by adopting the measures suggested by management experts” as if this was not enough another read “Rajasthan ahead of Kerala in literacy rate” One news was too good to be true “West Bengal completes tens years without a single strike call or bandh”. The good news was too difficult to be true so

I turned to the business page because market is the best indicator of the reality. But here too a good news flashed across “sensex likely to cross 30 k marks after monsoon”. The shares of the foot wear companies were the best money getters after 2008.I read on to know what was so special about the foot wear companies. The report said, after the historic shoe hurling incident (by the Iraqi reporter on American president) the footwear has gained popularity as implement of displaying anger at international level. After the incident that style of displaying resentment had gained popularity in America. American government has decided to bomb the enemy country with ten million planes full of shoes so the shares of footwear company were on the high, the requirement may go up in the years to come the report said. The paper was most interesting and positive so I turned to sports page to read “Indian athlete bags the gold medal for 100m in Olympics”. The news sent me in feat of mad glee. I started yelling at the top of my voice and dancing when I realized that my mother and bhabhi hovering over me and asking “kya hua?” I woke up from my siesta to realize that it was a dream. Putting aside the paper that I was reading before I dozed off I guzzled a glass full of water.

They say that some of your dreams come true and sometimes you get fore warnings of the things that are going to happen. If in my dream begins a possibility, then my sincere prayers to the Almighty let my dream come true.