I Touch The Hand Of The Lord!

There comes the blow of the wind of trials pressing hard,

As though the ball of life is tossed heavily and going bad,

There, the Lord of mercy, reach out His caressing hand.

In the midst of my travel to nowhere,

Even though the broken pieces of my heart seemed thrown elsewhere,

Lord’s untiring hands drawn me and made His presence always conquer!

When I Journey alone and try my own way,

When my quest for blissful life seems His out of my way,

The caring hand of the Lord directs my crooked path into a righteous way!

Although I cling to my own hopes,

and to my earnest prayer to Him I didn’t cope,

His faithful hands never waver and never say nope.

To my long-bearing grief and to my deep sadness has always been my trip,

The bounty hand of the Lord is a sure blessed gift that never tripped!

However I submitted myself to inequities,

However I drowned myself into adversities,

However I stained myself to wickedness,

The merciful hand of the Lord made my soul as white as wool.

I touch the hand of the Lord!

No matter mine seems to lose my hold!

That even my faith grows cold,

His perpetual love and care is forever bold,

That I always treasure and to this sinning world, His beyond and faithful LOVE….

I must unfold!

Perhaps…..

Perhaps someday universe will end

Perhaps someday they’ll stop to pretend

Someday perhaps fishes will survive sans water

Perhaps someday all ills will be cured by laughter

Perhaps someday blind will begin to see

Innocent souls will someday be set free

Someday may be snow will show up in spring

Perhaps one day prison bars, cages will start conversing

Someday perhaps time will refuse to tick by

Someday perhaps there won’t be answers to the question ‘Why’

Perhaps someday you become me and I become you

May be dogs will someday say mew-mew!!

It’s all perhaps…perhaps

Can passages be written without word gaps?

Can the last runner overtake them all and win the last laps?

No answers; no specifics

No solutions quick fix

It’s all about perhaps

And about whether we could navigate minus microscopic maps…….!!!

God! Please let her die

Dear God!
We write this on behalf of Aruna Shanbagh. As we don’t know whether she is able to communicate with you are not, we the women on this earth write this on behalf of her. Pinki Virani has moved a petition for mercy killing. But since, you are supposed to be the ultimate authority on justice; we move this petition before you.
You already know what happened to Aruna. But in case you have forgotten, let us remind you about some basic facts about Aruna’s story.
Aruna was a staff nurse at KEM hospital Mumbai. During her work there she had came across a sweeper Sohanlal who worked in the animal laboratory. She had found him mistreating the animals and warned him against doing that. So this fellow out of vengeance strangled her with a dog chain and raped her brutally. The strangulation caused reduction in oxygen supply to her brain and caused what is called ‘hypoxic brain damage’. As a result Aruna is now in semi comatose state, unable to speak or move. She just responds to stimuli. Apparently she screams and laughs too sometimes.
At the time of this incident Aruna was engaged to be married to one doctor. Needless to say the doctor married some other lady later on. And apparently took no interest in caring for Aruna. The family has abandoned her, but the staff nurses at KEM take care of her….Upholding the oath they take in the name of Florence Nightingale.
Aruna still lives on…. She is cortically blind & without speech, she has lost the use of her limbs & the control of her muscles. Her brain is partially dead but a part of her brain as a sly survivor is alive, this part that also experiences pain…. she suffers from atrophying bones, the joints at her fingers, her wrists, knees, ankles are bent inwards & trying to straighten them causes her immense pain. She also suffers emotional trauma, so much that it results in inappropriate laughter & bouts of screaming. Her memory & most of her other mental faculties are gone. Aruna continues to live in this neither-alive-nor-dead existence, reacting to stimuli yet unable to otherwise communicate….. she has now been like this for the past 30 years. Don’t you think God that this is more than enough?
We are not asking you about whether what happened to Aruna was right or not. Because we know it can never be right. But at least now do something right with her and release her from her miserable condition.
All women on earth
P.S. : Sohanlal escaped with just 7 years imprisonment. He served the sentence for robbery and not for rape. Hope justice awaits him on this earth only.

2010 “Cushions”

2010 !!! Its good to have a new year…as if God is in one of His good moods and given us an another chance to undo and even re-do. Since we have all dived in with new resolutions and fresh hopes, lots of plans and many dreams, what is left to be asked is -Have we taken our ‘cushions’ with us???

By ‘cushions’ I meant shock absorbers or stress busters. I’m sure I have hit the bull’s eye. Its a new year and every thing is fresh about it. Its almost as if we have gotten into a ring of wrestling match, fresh  &ever ready, full of life & kicks ,telling ourselves mistakes won’t be repeated and waiting for our opponent. For every kick and punch that comes our way, we need shock absorbers. Those tiny plans or resources that would pull us through.It is not a new idea, not even a new bottle, its still the ol’ wine in the ol’ bottle. But refilling the glass is imperative.

Am I making this new year sound monstrous..hope not. Well, in some terms it is monstrous, in terms of opportunity, dreams and plans, it is indeed big. But if last year, you slowed down or even worse gave in due to the walls closing in, you better think of the ‘cushions’. Now ‘cushions’, can be many. They are not new, but they are totally handy. Some well known ones are,

1) Friends &family- spending time with loved ones, laughing hugging can all produce Serotonin or the ‘happy’ hormone.

2)Pets-get a dog or a cat… furs can be soft and cuddly and tickling ..plus you get a living being totally in love with you..learn unconditional one this time.

3)Shopping-go shopping without blowing your pocket. Pamper yourself…loving others begin with loving oneself.

4)Gardening-there is something about plants during dusk and dawn..they whisper! Talk to them, love them, care for them. They can be friends too.

5)Books-find that hidden door and travel into another wold between the lines.

6)Walk-aimless stroll ends up well. Just walk about casually, feeling the air and the sun/moon. Silence your mind and at night you can hear ‘the still sad song of humanity’

8)Pray-close your eyes and just call your God from your deepest being. Every morning & every night.

9)Give-gift a stranger..and walk away with a smile.

10)Happiness principle-do whatever that makes you happy(no trespassing though!)

Try these simple tactics, at least one every other day. It would renew you for life.

How does it matter?

Slices, or sticks, cubes or cheese spread—how does it really matter? Cheese is Cheese, be it in any form. Sticky and gooey, pale white, or faint yellow—

To a straightforward thinking, ordinary human being, it truly doesn’t matter.

But Yes it does matter would be the emphatic reply of a chef…..Placing cheese slices squeezed between a vegetable sandwich, and processing the cheese and preparing Cheese-lings are two completely different things.

Likewise, I may chip in that whether you add 4 and 3, or 5 and 2, the answer is going to be 7 in both the cases right? So how does it really matter?

Yes it does matter would be the reply of a Mathematics wizard; even if the result is the same, how the result is arrived at DOES matter.

The other day I casually dropped in at the art studio of a friend, who was gearing up for his monsoon exhibition. I saw him hurriedly mixing a few colors here and there, juggling between his palates. Every time he was mixing red with green, to get the orange he needed. I asked him off hand, why isn’t he mixing green with red, and he gave me a “you don’t understand anything” look!

To my ordinary eyes, how does it matter really, whether one mixes green in red, or red in green? But to the perfectionist eyes of an artist, it matters big time. He alone knows the kind of shades he wants to see come alive on his canvas.

So when a pessimistic person sees a glass of water, and says it is half empty; I usually cross opine by remarking that it is actually half full. That reflects my optimism in approaching a situation.

This whole world works on perceptions. And perceptions ought to differ; so also viewpoints.

Psychologists world over emphasize the significance of perceptions and viewpoints in our day to day lives. And perceptions and viewpoints are never Right or Wrong. There’s no black and white in it. There’s always a scope for grey.

So, the next time a thought comes to your mind, of how does it matter—whether, as a popular saying goes, a honeydew falls on the knife, or the knife falls on the honeydew,  think twice….For you, it might not matter; but to the Honeydew, or may be to the Knife, it might matter after all  !!!

Born From the Ashes

After I was succumbed
into a miserable state of affairs, am back again. I rise from wretchedness to
an extreme bliss. Such contentment cropped up not in a grandeur pleasure since
I do not know where it would lead me again. Yet, with strong conviction, I
indulge myself to imperil chances that would bring back the silence and
radiance that gives me a reason to smile.

The few weeks
were a vast of changes. I had witnessed the transformation, the true reasons,
and ambiguous to a clearer vision. However, on the process, I cannot deny that
even if those changes gives clearer direction to the path I wish to trudged, It
does not give me the exact reason to rejoice because apprehensions still exist
that one time or another, insurmountable encounters would be there to confront
me hard.

Perhaps, that
gives me so much energy to work on my values to become more persevered and hold
on to stand with valor and honor and at the same time preserving my integrity. Despite
the destitution I had been into, I was able to surpass it and face the world
again with my head up.

I may not aim
perfection because man is not made for that. However, being true to oneself and
self acceptance has lifted me to place myself into the pedestal I wanted. It is
where the heart of true happiness springs. The famous line: “Learning to love your
self is the greatest love of all”, mimic the transformation I am into right
now. Indeed, it blossoms like lily into my soul that what I envisioned myself
to be is within m reach.

I am certain
that anytime I may stumble again, pour another rain on my eyes, and be on a
solitary confinement. But it will not move me back once more because I had viewed
myself in a different perspective – which I can still stand proud. Yes, it will

break me but I can rise and fly like a phoenix – born from the ashes. And give me the silence and the radiance of true happiness.

Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you

When I was a kid I was always intrigued by fairy tales. They fascinated me like nothing else had. Among the innumerable tales my mother was pestered into telling me, the story of Rapunzel never failed to leave me puzzled. How could such a beautiful and talented girl believe the wicked witch when she told her repeatedly that she was an ugly, good for nothing old maid? Didn’t she see her lush, long golden hair and think for an instant that she was pretty? Why didn’t she recognize her own talents? I never asked these questions aloud, keeping them as a secret to be unraveled someday.

Years later, after seeing both the harsh and tender faces of life the answers to all the questions that puzzled me came easily, naturally. Most of the time in life, we tend to give a lot more importance to what others think about us than what we think about ourselves. When you wear a new dress, the first thing you want to know is what your friends think about it. Any significant event in our life, we tend to make it as important as others make it out to be.

Rapunzel had only the witch for company, and she believed the witch when she was told she was ugly. It wasn’t the tower or the stone walls that imprisoned her but her belief that she wasn’t desirable. So when the handsome prince came along and struck by her beauty, told her she was the loveliest girl he had set eyes on and encouraged her other hidden talents, she wanted to come out of the tower and show herself to the world.

Just like Rapunzel, we all have secret towers of stone or wicked witches lodged deep in our hearts and minds. They come in the garb of fear, procrastination, laziness and a million other disguises. We become what the circumstances force us to be but an achiever is one who looks out for the circumstances he wants and if he doesn’t find them he creates one.

“If we are all taught everything, we will learn nothing. Life by itself is a do-it-yourself project.” You are the only person in the entire universe who knows the true potential of his\her talents. It is up to you to unearth the talent, hone it, polish it and finally show it to the world.

“Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you”.

A woman can’t do the same things as a man and still be a lady

I have been hearing this statement for a very long time because it has been entrenched in traditional order. It has allowed many men to get away with having children outside the family structure; it has allowed men to come home late at nights while the woman stays at home, it has even allowed boys the privilege of not doing house house hold chore while the girls toil in the house.

Now I hope I don’t sound like a chauvinistic pig when I say that this statement has some merit but not from the obvious interpretation which seeks to find excuses for irresponsible behavior of men and I will try to explain my position:

Now many people will admit to the fact that society is in a mess right now and partly because of the breakdown of the family structure. Too many children are being raised in single parent homes and often its the males who are absent. I am thinking if we lived by the sentiment expressed in the traditional view that if women are more responsible in their choice of men then we could avoid many of the issues that we have now with broken homes. Let’s face it some women consciously get pregnant for men who they know have little or no intention or capacity to take care of their families. Once again let me state that I am not blaming women for the ills of society, I am merely saying that based on the upstanding women I had in my life like my mother, grandmother and sister, I have more faith in the fact that women have more morals. Therefore I am giving women the task of trying to mend society by behaving in a manner which is far removed from man’s irresponsible behavior and grounded in the sentiment that they refuse to do “the same things that men have done”.

So what do you say do you agree with the sentiment that a woman cannot do the same things a man does or am I a chauvinist? You may add your interpretation if this statement if you think that I have fallen short .

GOD Is Watching My Movie

In the stretch of billion stars in heaven,
In the horizon where clouds are all over,
where the sun cannot cast its immortal rays.
The eyes of the Lord stretches even to the deepest part of my soul.

All through out the days I spend generously,
all through out the night I play with my dreams,
God is there watching me untiringly.

In the core of my heart that sometimes cry out with sorrow and in my flattering emotion often drown with joy,
In the the nerves of my brain and in my wavering mind,
God is there dwelling in tenderly.

In my continued pursuit for happiness,
In my unceasing cry because of loneliness.
God is watching me lovingly.

God is watching my movie!
In the pain of my heart, he cries.
In the weariness of my broken soul, he sobs.
In the triumph of my dreams, he giggles
In the straight path where I walk with righteousness, he delights!
In the holes of the sin where I often fall, he weeps.

God is watchìng my movie where I play the most challenging role of life.

Monkeying around

“What is this ? You are again late for the office ?
“Sir, What can I do ? It is those wretched monkeys. I couldn’t get out of the house.
“ Where do you live ?”
“ In Bharatnagar, Sir”.
“Oh! I see. The area of monkey habitat”
In other circumstances had somebody said this to me, I would have felt very offended. But in today’s situation, the statement is perfectly right. We live in the area where monkeys reside and preside over the life style of every resident of Bharatnagar.
Most of the houses have their balconies closed with iron bars to prevent entry of our ancestors. While we are busy having our tea in the morning, the entire tribe is scattered all over the area ravaging the plants and saplings. While the monkeys are busy loitering around, the human beings look helplessly out of their caged balconies. Sometimes you get a feeling as if one of the monkeys will come and offer you a banana through the iron bars.
Newcomers to our colony finding the freeness with which the monkeys move around the garden, ask us, “ Are these your pets ?”
Pets ! These pests? Ask any Bharatnagarian, and he will be shocked to the core at the mere idea of keeping a monkey as a pet. The other pets, for example dogs are no help in the monkey business. I never knew such chumminess existed in the animal world. The monkeys come and pat the dogs and they too wag their tails in delight though much to the terror of their keepers.
The monkeys are not satisfied with vegetation and are always on look out for the spicy tit bits. Anything is welcome for them. Dough made for chapatis, idlis, rotis, vadas, keep anything near a window, in comes an agile hand and before you know what is happening the eatables have reached the monkeys tummy. The younger generation of the tribe is very expert in this area. Because of their size they are able to squeeze through the narrow spaces, but once inside they are unable to find the way out and the havoc after that is horrifying. Hearing the frantic appeal of the youngster the whole tribe clusters around. No one is able to get in or go out till the baby finds its way out.
We find ourselves in this situation very often.
The descendants of the Hanuman sometimes bestow certain favours on us. Come summer time and the mango trees are full of sweet and delicious fruits. The monkeys jump from one branch to another, eating merrily all the nicest and juiciest mangoes. In the process one or two mangoes fall down which are very graciously left for the owners. Same is the story with other fruits. Earlier the monkeys didn’t eat oranges because while peeling the same, the juice would go in their eyes and the irritation thereby was the cause of safety of our oranges. However, this did not last long. Once, a monkey peeled the orange by taking his hands back and found that the outcome was very fruitful. Now all the monkeys take their hands back, peel the oranges and eat it with great pleasure.
Usually the monkeys are not aggressive. Yes, they are mischievous but not aggressive. But sometimes, some kid or the other does something to annoy them and then for a few days getting out of house is hell. When the monkeys are around, anything in you hand will be snatched away. Once or twice someone who resists the act is unfortunate of being slapped by the monkeys. We have to pay ‘difficult area allowance’ to our maids, which is in addition to their regular wages.
People ask us, “Why don`t you use fire crackers, airguns, or some sort of loud noise ?” Well, friends we have tried all that. And the monkeys have also got accustomed to it.
Someone suggested using mild electric current for dissuading the monkeys from coming. Oh no! We are not so heartless. Cherubic little babies with their charming expression, the dancing monkeys, patting and taking out lice from each others hair- the picture is so refreshing that we will not dream of hurting these innocent children of the nature.
Once there was a writ filed in the High court and on the directions of the Hon`ble High court the civic authorities tried to catch the monkeys. The cages that were set for catching the monkeys are still lying around. After one or two monkeys were caught in the cage, the clever ones didn’t even go near it and the tribe still lives happily ever after in our area.

A New Beginning!

The year has made its time,

Life passing on in a blur of colour

With rhythmic beat to the tune of the world,

Don’t miss the music lilting,

It is a new beginning.

Broken hearts and dried tears

Are a part of every story,

Remember the smiles that lit up your face

When your eyes were moist with pain,

Feelings stretched taut as a string,

It is a new beginning.

Some of the people you love,

Have fought, lied and betrayed,

But there was also a time

When they have held your hand tenderly

Comforting, caressing and guiding,

It is a new beginning.

The road might be rough,

With thorns at every step,

Keep your head high with eyes on your goal,

You are close to it today,

Closer than you think,

It is a new beginning.

After the darkest hour of night,

comes the welcoming dawn,

With a prayer on your lips

And a song in your heart,

Tread the new path with hope,

With love, honesty and courage,

Have no fear of failing,

It is a new beginning.

Sometimes, I wish …

Sometimes, I wish …

It is that time of the year,
Romance, is in the air!

Lightnings glow
Cool winds blow!
Little droplets of elixir all across;
Life’s so refreshingly slow!

Yeah! It’s the time of the year,
When I wish YOU were here.

It’s the time of the year,
When I wish WE were here.

Talking endlessly, all the way.
Walking all along the bay.
You, me – Us,
Just the cool breeze between us!

Sometimes I wish
It remains forever.
The time of the year,
When we are together!

Sometimes I wish
It remains forever.
This time of the year,
This amazing weather!

Remembrance …

It was great.
The time we had together.
I hate, to remember
The time we had together.

Can I bring it back,
I ponder.
So wonderful it was to wait for you,
I remember.

What was my mistake,
I don’t know.
Guess it was made up in heavens.
To not be with you.

Those aimless ramblings,
short walks, long coffees.
I wish I could live again
those great chats
Over cakes and toffees!

Hope when I’m gone
you are never dreary and alone.
For your memories shall be with me
forever, in Paris or in Rome!

Choose Your Response

Three women met in a restaurant. Yeah u can guess???  Lots of discussions, exchange of news and views, loads of information.  One particular of their discussion caught my attention.  One of the ladies, with lot of interest was sharing some facts about cockroach. With a lot of amazement,  she was telling how a cockroach can run 3 miles in an hour and could live a long time, perhaps a week without its head. It can survive in any climate, in any house condition, inside any crack, etc.

Suddenly, a cockroach flew from nowhere and sat on her.  She started to scream out of fear.  With panic-stricken face and trembling voice,  she started doing stationary jumping with her hands trying to get rid of the cockroach.  The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group.  Now, it was the another lady to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.  In the relay, the cockroach fell on the waiter.  The waiter stood firm observing its movement on his shirt.  When he has confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out.

As I was seeing those,  few thoughts started wondering, “Was the cockroach responsible for the histrionic behaviour?  If so, then why the waiter was not perturbed? He handled it to near perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach to them.”

I realized, “Even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my father that disturbs me, but it is my inability to handle the disturbance caused by his shouting that disturbs me. In all, it is not something that disturbs me, but it is my inability caused by that something that disturbs me. More than the problem, it is my reaction to the problem, which hurts me more.”

A natural question popped up in my mind, “Then, how do I outgrow this limitation?” I understood, “I should not react. I should always respond”. The women reacted, whereas waiter responded. Reactions are instinctive, whereas responses are intellectual. Between the stimuli (what happens to me) and the response (what happens through me) if there is no gap, it creates reaction. But, between the stimuli and response,  if I use the gap to think and contemplate, then I can respond thoughtfully. “An Intelligent person responds; a fool reacts”.

Holinza

Merry Christmas Ashwini!
Merry Christmas Mona!!
But Ashwini, why are you so sad? We may not be Christians, but it is Christmas time. Moreover it must be holinza for you. You should be doubly happy.
It is Christmas time. All right. But what is this holinza?
Ashwini, my dear, for you Central Government servants it is holiday bonanza, Straight four days holidays. Holiday bonanza means holinza.
Oh. But why are you jealous about our holinza Mona darling? You are also having holidays.
Yes, but these are the only vacations that we get in a year. Round the year we have to slog out like a donkey. As a reward we get these few holidays in a year. I match it with holidays of my family. O.K. but, forget about me. Tell me why are you so sad at the time of this festive holinza?
Mona, I might be having holinza, but so are others and this means people are out on the streets enjoying to their hearts content and the poor police force is trying to cope up with this pressure forgetting all about their holidays or their family’s holinza.
Oh ! Oh! That means Ranvir is again away doing his duty. And you and kids are all alone home waiting for him for hours and hours together.
Yes. This is not the only time it has been happening. It is always the same. His promise to stay at home with us on holidays, his cancellation of leave, children’s tear stained faces and the perennial guilt in Ranvir’s eyes. He is torn between his work and family.
But then why does he not quit the job? He can get a big paying job anytime. What is the big deal about being a civil servant?
You won’t understand it Mona. Neither did I initially. But over the years I have come to understand about Ranvir’s commitment. You know it is because of these cops and the armed forces that we are able to live so peacefully.
I know. And after 26/11 people have also started realizing it better. Ashwini, your cell phone is ringing. You answer it, I will push off. I have some shopping to do.
Hello, Hello, Ashwini, this is Ranvir.
Tell me dear, how are you? You are sounding tired. Did you not have had any lunch?
I will have my lunch later. Don’t worry. But how are you and kids? I miss you all. Today is holiday and I can not spend time with you. I feel so guilty.
We too miss you Ranvir, but don’t worry. We will manage. You concentrate on your work. We are proud of you.
Ashwini, I know I expect too much from you, but I want you to do something. Will you do it?
Tell me Ranvir, I will surely do it. You also know it well.
Ashwini, you remember Martha, the lady constable in our team who died in the 26/11 attack? Her husband Robert is also in my team.
Of course I remember. How can I forget the valour of that lady? I can not forget her two small kids trying to shake up her dead body trying to wake her up.
It is about these children that I want to talk to you.
What happened?
Actually we had given Robert leave so that he could spend the Christmas with his kids. But then as you know comes an emergency and all our leave, holidays, etc. vanish in a thin air.
Don’t I know it well? But tell me what the problem is now?
Well, we had to ask Robert to come and do his duty today also. But what about his kids? Where will they stay? There is no one to look after them. He has brought them to the police station. But I want that these kids should be able to spend a proper Christmas. Will you do it, please?
Come on Ranvir, please don’t say please. I will be, rather we will be very happy. Kids are also listening to our conversation and frantically gesturing me to tell you that we will arrange for a proper Christmas celebration for them. Just send them home immediately. Now it is going to be real holinza.
Holinza? What is that?
You won’t understand. But now the holidays have brought in real bonanza. And we are going to enjoy our holinza.

The star system

I am a “modern” mother… implies I do too much of reading of parenting stuff on the web… and TRY to implement some of the thingsstar2 as a mother.

One of the things that have really caught my fancy is the positive reinforcement in kids. Implies, one should not punish the kids when something goes wrong. But definitely reward the kids when they do something nice. The reward can be in terms of something small, like a word of praise or a star or anything not of much monetary value.

So I started a star system for my son. I put up a chart paper on his cupboard and defined the “good behavior” that would get him a star. So things like brushing his teeth at night before sleeping, eating the vegetable cooked that day, etc. would each fetch him a star. It worked pretty well. The most enjoyable part of it was that once he earned a star he would rush to his room and get a sketch pen to sketch the star he has earned. I would then define a quantity of stars that he could redeem to get a favour from me. So time and again he used to demand an extended play hour or a visit to his favourite shop to get a lolly, etc. One of the times I was really touched is when for his younger sister’s birthday I told him that he needs to buy a gift for her. But since he does not have any money, I can help him out if he can give up his stars. So he gave up all his stars for his sister’s gift.

—————————-

Recently I observed that I was a little more edgy than usual. It might be because of the fact that my husband is traveling and all the load of handling the house and kids is on me or the fact that I had to resume working full time at work due to some policy changes. Either case, the fact that upset me was that I was always venting out my anger at others. I was thinking of how to handle this… and “The star system” came to my rescue. I thought of starting a star system whereby I would earn a star if I didn’t get angry without a reason for the entire day. And I managed to earn myself 10 stars, I would do something funky to redeem them. So the marathon began…

The first day, I managed to keep my cool almost the entire day. In the evening, after repeatedly calling my son at the park to come back home, I gave up. When he came home, he was too tired to finish his homework or even eat. I just couldn’t help chiding him for his carelessness and indiscipline. And on not getting a satisfactory response from him, I started shouting…. And before I realized, I had lost my star for the day. There was no reason for me to shout. Had I been a little more disciplined myself, I could have reasoned with my son in the park and made him come back on time. I took things more casually since I myself was too tired to reason or argue.

The next day, I was more resolved. I had fully thought of being a soft spoken (not a word that many people associate with me) mother. At work, there isn’t much opportunity for me to shout at anyone…because I don’t have anyone reporting to me these daysJ. At home… I can’t shout at the maids because they will flee… so I just needed to be cool when it came to my son. Fortunately, both of us came back from the park well in time to finish my son’s homework. He was doing maths – addition of two digit numbers which was a new thing for him. So there were four sums… and I taught him how to add the one’s digits first and then the ten’s. When he finished the sums, I checked… he had done them all wrong. He had added the upper digits first and then the lower digits. I first had a good laugh. And then taught him again. This time, he had done 1 sum right, but the others were incorrect. So I taught him again. And the third time, he again erred. I just lost my patience. I couldn’t help but vent out my frustration and … my son started crying. I felt bad again. For him, learning sums was as difficult as learning skating for me. He was taking time, and here I was shouting at him. So again I lost my star!!!

And the days went by…

Today is the seventh day of my star system. And I have not got a single star to my credit. I realize how difficult it is to earn them… and even more difficult is to give them away to someone selflessly.