You are Blessed if you can’t afford something today!!!

As i sipped on to my cup of coffee, I shared a small story of my life with the friend of mine sitting with me and it took me back to my student days.

I was doing my MBA then and the city had a single Cafe Coffee Day joint.  I never missed glancing inside the outlet,  looking at the young croud hanging out there whenever i passed  by that way. Being a student then, I ran on a minimum monthly budget which permitted me the lavishness of visiting the CCD  joint once in months but my heart pined to go there very often.

Today, as I was sipping my coffee with this friend of mine in a  Cafe Coffee day outlet,  I remembered how ever since I started earning,  I made it a point to visit a Cafe Coffee Day almost everyday. The pleasure of achieving something you really desired, at a time when you couldn’t afford,  is simply inexplicable.

As we shared this feeling of mine our discussion went to a point which left me touched and pondering for days.

We discussed that If we cant afford something then we are really blessed because that gives us a reason to work hard, a dream to look up to and a sublime pleasure if we are able to achieve it one day.

SuperStock_1444R-257187

I know of  friends and acquaintances who are so stinkingly rich that you name it and they can buy it for themselves.  Diamonds are gifted on the smallest of occasions, exported cars  come as birthday gifts, holidays are always in exotic locales abroad and there is never a word” no” for them. Its whatever whenever to them, yet I find this lot of people the most dissatisfied, frustrated and wild in their lifestyles.

They have nothing in life to look forward to,  nothing to own by working or saving diligently everyday. They have no pleasure of owning something they secretly desired for years and thereby they miss on the small and beautiful things in life.  They never realise the fun that is there in the journey than reaching the destination hastily. They are frustrated leading a wild lifestyle because in their run up the ladder, they have never enjoyed saving everyday to buy their loved one the ring that she always yearned for.  They may be worthy to provide their family with everything they want but do not have the time for them.  They cannot make it on their birthdays,  anniversaries…. months pass by and the only thing they speak to their immediate family is “Hi!”, “How are you”, “Take care” and that too over the phone because they are too  preoccupied climbing up the stairs in life fast. Ask them when did they last sit with their dear ones discussing something that touched them during the day and they would go blank. No wonder they finally grow frustrated and lead a wild lifestyle.

On the other side, I know many friends of mine, who would rather take an auto to a place when they can well afford a cab because that money saved will let them buy something for their dear ones, the idea of which they were secretly toying for a long time. I know of people, who smile everynight when they switch on the air conditioner in their one bedroom flat imagining of a childhood where 6 people slept in the same room on a night in May with only hand fan to keep them cool. They slog their butts off just to provide basic comforts of life but though they cannot gift  their wives diamonds on birthdays, they can gift her enough time thereby trying to do small things which make her happy and touch her heart.  There is a fun in living a life like that because you work towards achieving and isn’t  success  sweetest when it bears the fruit of sweat?  Relationships strengthen in these cases and are bonded by  threads of heart and not price tag of gifts.  There is a fun in living their life, where you may not afford a cruise in Venice for your anniversary but would plan your savings to achieve it one day by now settling for a cruise in Goa.  That’s the spirit of Living I believe.

This discussion kept me pondering and I concluded and believed,  that you are Blessed if you cant afford something in life today,  because its a curse to have everything you want.

Pillars of Indian Culture

Indian Culture

When we close our eyes and think about the real India, suddenly a picture comes in mind, which depicts a land of customs, rituals and variety of cultural values. What is so special about Indian culture, which keeps us united in spite of being such a large diversified nation. Indian culture has been blessed with some values which make us a class apart.

Our culture teaches us to respect our family members and we prefer to stay in a joint family where we learn basic principles of ethics and morale from our parents and grand parents. We learn how to be humble towards the elders and towards our teachers. Giving respect to other makes our knowledge and attitude moving towards positive side.  We also learn being friendly to others and it makes us united.

There have been thousands of stories from history of India, which teaches us morale of truth, integrity, dignity and ethics. Truth is really important and relevant as long as the world remains. Truth and integrity are also helpful in getting success in today’s business scenaio as without trust no organization can survive in long run and may collapse. No customer can be diverted to other attractive offers, if you have been able to develop and maintain the trust. Our culture says to be socially responsible towards others living in society around us; today, many organizations follow this principle and they have a separate department of corporate social responsibility. Many organizations earn their bread and butter from this activity alone like CRY, WHO, UNESCO, UNICEF. Business ethics is stressed upon to inculcate in organization culture in order to make the company customer friendly and trust worthy. In addition to this, our culture teaches us to be loyal towards our employer, which is equally relavant and important if you want to have a fruitful and stable career.

There is no magic trick, if we continue following the principles and learnings from ou cultural values, we will be on winning track. Unfortunatley, there are people who blame our ancient culture as hindrances for development; it’s not at all true, when time changes our requirements also change and we need to adopt ourself with the changes. It does not mean that our cultural values have become outdated; it’s importance and relevance still prevail. We can do necessary fabrications without changing the basic pillars of our culture.

18 till I die!!!

“I  went to play a cricket match, there i got a catch.

The catch was easy, but I was lazy. I dropped the catch and we lost the match.”

i1_hem_cyclist_05

These lines were very popular with  my friends and me way back during our school days. Now after almost twenty years these lines still bring a smile on my face and rekindles all those fond memories of those wonderful years.We were a group of 4 guys ( we studied in a only boys school). All of us were of modest backgrounds but with a zest for life and everything it has to offer.Life was easy then,things weren’t that expensive and all of us had our own two wheelers(cycles to be precise). I still remember , we used to wear our best outfits on weekends and cycle around 10km to reach the upmarket areas of our city,park our cycles in the alleys and walk around as if we have come in the best wheels in town.Bird watching (not the feathered type)was a favourite past time and the upmarket areas of our city have an abundance of them.

Now as I reflect upon life and how it is different from those joyous years, I realize how I am missing out on those small things which meant so much to us. Of course, I am not the same fifteen year old now,age and status has caught up but still I think just once in a while I should let go and do all these silly things I have done as a fifteen year old.

As the joke goes “Being on a  diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the Menu card”. I guess being a husband and father shouldn’t stop me from letting the boy in me out once in a while. For starters, I got myself a BMX cycle(the salesman at the shop couldn’t believe that I had bought it for myself). Once or twice a week I go cycling for an hour or so,I do get a lot of stares from people but I enjoy it all the same. I now realize that each one of us should indulge in some activity or other which would keep the child in us alive. That could be anything like playing games with  the children in your society, playing doll games with your daughter or a  game of football with your son.Doing any of these activities would definitely lighten up your mood and the added benefit is you will also burn up a few calories.

As Bryan Adams say in his song”Eighteen till I die”–someday I’ll be eighteen going on sixty five.Let us live young till our last day. Afterall age is a state of mind.You are as old as you think you are!!!

Continue reading “18 till I die!!!”

The Virtue of Sharing Pain

Tragedy has a way of insinuating itself into life, and we can do nothing about it. Well most of the time. This is a common fact of human existence; what is not so common is the method each of us adopts to deal with it and the ensuing pain. It struck my family two years back and we took it head on, but kept it to ourselves, snug within our minds, with not a chink in the armour for it to escape. It stayed put, loyal to the last, and did something … gnawed at our emotional entrails, kept us captive, went on and on, an almost physical sensation. Till I felt I had to break my own vow of silence, the long silence that seemed to corrode the family peace. I did it the best way I could … wrote about it. A dam burst and the words spilled over on to the page almost in a surreal and subconscious way  … the keyboard and monitor my psychiatrist’s couch.

Sharing Pain

The write up was published and I had done the hitherto unimaginable, spilled the beans to a stranger, an audience that knew nothing of me or my pain, shared with the world something I had desisted from sharing even with close relatives. I felt purged. The dam burst sans tears, the pain lessened as quietly as it had surged, as though a primeval weight had lifted itself off my chest. Did I need to do this? Shout out to the world about my angst? Not really, but at that point of time, the world to me was a stranger with no face and name to it, to whom I was equally a stranger. And it helped. At the end of the day, that seemed preferable to the debilitating silence in which I had enveloped and therefore trapped the sorrow. Release came through sharing. To me, this is a parable. A parable of the value of sharing, something I learned the hard way, I who till then thought I was strong enough to internalise and suppress all pain and yet get over and around it. It didn’t always work, and when it didn’t, the result could be catastrophic.

Suppression of emotion at some level or the other is built into the human psyche from a very young age. Boys are taught not to cry, girls are taught to control their emotions. In fact the very word hysteria has its roots in the word ‘uterus’ and came to be associated with female emotion in excess of perceived levels of acceptance. Both sexes have learnt to live with their sorrows, preferring its anonymity to sharing it. This happens all the time, in different circumstances and in varying degrees. There’s a positive aspect of this suppression also, where the concept of ‘suppression’ is replaced with that of dignity or grace. But this has its place and time and no poise can be good poise when extended to all circumstances. Even royalty needs to show emotion.

Sharing of emotion is catharsis, the aim of the perfect Tragedy. Think of Shakespeare’s great plays and the catharsis they wrought by the time the curtains went down. Haven’t we heard this ad nauseam through all those Drama classes on Greek Tragedy / Shakespearean Tragedy? Those playwrights knew more about the human condition than we lesser mortals. Whether we express the emotion to ourselves or find solace in somebody else sharing it, release of painful feelings is good for the soul and body. It helps cleanse the mind and body of negative energy, replacing it with a positive and life enhancing field of energy that enables us to live better. Talking of a dead relative we loved will help cope with the loss faster and better than shutting up about him / her or trying to block all thoughts and mention of his / her name. If erasure was possible through silence, the world would be a quieter place. This doesn’t of course imply that society should en masse give vent to every painful feeling, for this would send us spiralling into chaos. Balance should never be at stake. But the sharing of pain with a loved one, a confidant, even a stranger could be the magic antidote to a life spent in battling the traces of that pain, for pain will leave a trace, and the trace could become a weal over time.

vice called free advice

free-1If somebody is to point the vice or the unwanted things in society we generally talk about smoking, drinking and other such things as bad habits and  something that is not good for the well being of our own self and others. But recently I have come across a new vice that is ruining the society and troubling thousands for no reason. My friend’s daughter who was preparing for her board exam was fed up with the advice that people kept on hurling at her without her asking for it. This unwanted advice she complained wasted her time and confused her very much. At last she evened the score by asking them why they did not apply their wisdom to their own advantage. My friend got taunts that her daughter was the most ill behaved child and got some advice on the proper upbringing of children. In earlier days advice was sought because it was given carefully and after considering all the pros and cons of the issue now the word advice has become so hazardous that some wise chap has named it as gyan bidi. I need not highlight the hazards of a bidi or the hand rolled cigarette. People who are caught unaware by these advisers are the worst sufferers. A  friend of mine had a pet dog that got scabies, some one directed him to purchase the medicine directly from the chemist as his dog too had scabies and got cured in single dose. The chemist handed out the bolus and my friend fed it to his dog. Next day it was gone, not the scabies but the dog. It died of drug overdose. My friend cursed the advisor and himself. He later said I was almost hypnotized by that confident advice, later the chemist told me that the dose was meant for big animals like cows and buffaloes. The fine line that distinguishes a suggestion from an advice is often crossed and the result is hazardous if the matter related is serious. These advices are not only unnecessary many a times they are hurting and sometimes funny. Obese people often get advice from all and sundry on how to reduce weight and the most hurting ones come when that person is eating. Eat less you fatso or something like that is impolite and hurting but yet  many people do it. A plump friend has devised a way to tackle such advisers . He retaliates with something like why don’t you eat properly you look sick and colourless whenever he sense some advice on  obesity coming his way. These however are extreme ways of tackling the problem, the solution to the problem remains elusive till there are unwanted ad visors in the society. In our country where every Tom and Dick advices Sachin on how to bat, tells Lata how to sing, Amitabh gets some lessons on how to act, no one can escape this trap of unwanted and misplaced advice. All we can do is duck them like an expert batman ducks a bouncer and be prepared to hit the next advice for a six. The best way to deal with advice is by putting Newton third law in practice. To every advice give back an equal and opposite advice. Till we learn the art of tackling advice it will always remain an ad(ded) vice in our life.

Sach Ka Samna: Playing With Emotions

Sach Ka Samna‘Sach Ka Samna’ is the latest sensation on television and it’s really interesting and thrilling when you watch a person confessing about his personal life in front of millions of audience. I watched this program yesterday for the first time and found it totally different from all other reality shows going on small screen.

The makers of ‘Sach Ka Samna’ are intended to find out people, who can show courage to accept all brutal facts which their mind might think of. They reveal the difference between the actual feeling about the existing relationships and what we pretend doing in our day to day life. This program is ruthless and has got no space for emotions, if you want to win.

Let’s have a quick look at the procedure of the program. Sach ka Samna is based on an advanced lie detector (polygraph machine), where a participant is selected on the basis of thorough emotional and psychological test with the help of series of questions related to his/her life. After going through this test, they come in front of audience and then starts a series of most crucial and emotional questions. There are total 21 questions in different steps to win 1 Crore Rs. As the show progress, the questions become more harsh and cruel exposing minute details of your personal life and feelings to millions of audience.

Mrs. Swati participated in yesterday’s episode; she was asked questions about her relationship with her mother, father in law, mother in law, husband and children. She was even asked whether or not she has ever tried to cheat her husband or tried to kill him. We heard an even more shocking question; she was asked about her intention to make physical relationship with other than her husband and many such questions which a person may never want to share in public and especially when his/her family members are also present there.

Sach ka Samna is truly playing with emotions and those who want to win money, might loose a lot of purities of relationships. The show has again proved that every man has two different faces, one which he reveals to others and another which he is actually all about.

Money can buy your emotion, that’s what the message is.

Melting Moments

icecreamWith gleaming eyes, she casually asked” What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”

To this, she got a reply—Tutee Frooti.

But she wasn’t convinced. “Oh! I didn’t ask you your favorite fruit drink; I wanted to know your most beloved ice cream flavor”, she annoyingly replied.

Yeah, that was precisely what was answered; only to realize a moment later, that among modern day offerings, Tutee Frooti has melted from the dollops; and has almost vanished from the menu cards!

The reply expected was something on the lines of—Dark Crusty Chocolate, Walnut Choco Delight, Almond Raisin Waffle, Strawberry Pistachio Marvel, Crushed Mango Treat, Pineapple Frost, Chunky Custard Apple Spectacle, Chickoo Joy, Creamy Blueberry Thunder etc…etc.

A crisp short reply like Tutee Frooti bewildered her. And she was forced to shun the reply, by mistaking it with a fruit drink like Frooti, may be. The interaction completely engulfed the intonation of semantic differences- wherein both were no doubt talking about ice creams, but on varied levels.

I was talking about the “nostalgic”, “nothing like it”, “ nothing to beat it” flavor of Tutee Frooti, relishing which many around me grew up, and she was referring to the upbeat, extravagant, irresistible, bizarre sounding flavors offered today. It was like past talking to the present; and therefore a communication gap was bound to occur!

The simple Tutee Frooti was sold by some simpleton ice cream hawker, by simply opening his cart lid- and Voila! That wonder got created; it was a treat to the eyes, fabulous to the tongue and even just holding that dollop gave a feeling of “the whole world being at one’s cold fingertips!”

Yes, cuisine worldwide has come of age, you may argue. There is a tremendous room for experimentation in the culinary domain today—so why ice creams be left behind?

And so we have all the fruits in the world being experimented upon to be added to these flavors.  It’s a good way to start eating fruits; you end up eating them in frost format, rather than in the natural format!! But well, this is an artificial; superficial world after all, of which we are a part; so why ice creams be made an exception?

So be it. Now the exact percentage of the natural fruit content in these flavors is a different subject altogether. Better not touch upon it; else my Tutee Frooti dream will shatter….

“…..On a clear, sunny, lazy, hassle free Sunday, around quarter past noon, a distant sound of a bell used to be enough for the mouth to water. Racing down the street, the ice cream seller used to halt at his regular spots, and these sluggish feet which till then stayed dangling here and there, suddenly used to zoom past everything, reach upto the cart, asking shyly only one cherished  flavor—Tutee Frooti- from amongst the limited treasures that were on offer. There wasn’t a plethora of flavors at any point- it was all kept SIMPLE.

It merely wasn’t the flavor which was relished and which is prized till date. It is the simplicity and the innocence of the whole experience which is possessed dearly.

Today, we don’t have ice cream carts; those tinkling sounds of cart bells have disappeared. Of course, that doesn’t mean that the sheer pleasure of enjoying an ice cream too has diminished.

An ice cream is an ice cream is an ice cream; no matter which time frame you are referring to—past or present.

The phenomenon remains the same; the joy remains the same; the experience has stayed status quo; only the simplicity has melted….

For me, the cherry on the top isn’t a raspberry, strawberry, blackberry, or blueberry—it is the simplicity, which was aplenty and abounds in the naïve Tutee Frooti.

No, I’m not lamenting; I’m merely commenting.

All said and done, melting moments are looked forward to anytime, anyplace, and in any form; it’ just that the taste buds keep yearning for Tutee Frooti; and heart keeps asking for simplicity……..

You have to become An Engineer

Pressure “Purani jeans or guitar ladak pan ke woh din or mere yaar”

College days are supposed to be the days, you really wish to relive them.  Does this always hold true? I don’t know is this always holding the same opinion for all.

I have seen so many cases where the student gets lost in the whole process. Things which were taboo are accessible suddenly. It becomes really tough for someone who had never seen freedom for 18 years and suddenly the whole sky is yours.

Most of them make through the changes and some how work out the things.You knows who are the worse hits? Worse hits are those kids which were never allowed to venture out there own. Who knew only that you have to top IIT/AFMC? Parents don’t understand that all the kids are not same. Every body is different and should be nurtured in the way the interest of kid lie. The main responsibility of parent is to give direction but not to force what you want him to do. If I am a doctor my daughter/son should be a doctor or if my cousin daughter scored 90% my son should definitely get 92% in 10th board.

Parents make there kids slog. They have to go to school than after 2 hours coaching class on weekends the 11/12th related tuitions. Now you tell me what the hell kid must be going through. Genuinely there are 20% kids which are meant to do what they are doing but what about rest of 80% who are made to do the things which they are not inclined in. I know professions like doctor/engineer are secure ones. This doesn’t mean the end of world and choices.

For example Deepti might not be a super duper mathematician but than she can paint like Michael Anglo. If she was never given opportunity to paint how will she know that she could have been him? Than suddenly after 12th you are out of home and you some how manages to get admission in Ok college, than the starting of self destruction starts initially you start doing stuff which you were forbidden ,inner rebel comes out. Than that kid would like to do everything under the sun. What so ever it may be?

One of my friends was like this she never managed to pass her engineering. She was a bright student and smart too. But something was always at back of her mind why I am here? I don’t want to do this. I am not going to do what my parents want.

What happened ultimately, she never became graduate. Her parents gave up. Her Relationship dint work out. She worked in call centres not knowing what to do next. Now she is totally lost. No direction in life nothing in hand. I still pray from god that she find some direction.

This is not the only one example the only good thing in her case that she dint go into drugs and all. I have seen people who have ruined there life with all these things. Just to feel the freedom. Everybody should always remember one thing that you cannot hold other person so tightly that they slip out of hand like sand.

I sincerely request from parents that please don’t burden your kids with your dreams. Lesson learnt must be shared in right way. You are there to give them direction and channelizing them into that direction. Not to force them to be what you want them to be.

colleges-money making machines

Now a days education has reached its heights and the awareness and importance of education has been know to every nook and corners of the world.In recent days around 80-90% of people are given primary education.A few years back education was a dream for a common man and only the rich people were educated. Our government took action and changed this system completely and made education available for everyone ,but now again this problem started to appear in the form of engineering colleges. In Tamil Nadu alone there are around 250 engineering colleges and around 200 are affiliated to Anna university.The students scoring maximum marks get into the Anna university and only around 300 get seats in Anna university.The remaining students get into the Anna University affiliated private engineering colleges.The private colleges fee the students heavily ,this year many problems arose regarding the college management getting huge captivation fees.Many news papers and TV channels investigated the matter and published many shocking news about this problem.Also the officials took some action on those colleges and banned them for recruiting the first years.But now the dispute has been solved and all the colleges again started their business.

This is the situation now.Education is turning out to be a high yielding business.:(

logo1FC_EqualTo_41709_lg9aaf91e1336a7bf94c3b3b59eaeba894-grande

In future

FC_EqualTo_41709_lgMay change to FC_LessorEq_41720_lg

Bal Vivah in India: Social Crime

Premature MotherYou must have seen many women around having kids at an age of just 15 to 16 years; neither it’s right from the health’s perspective nor is it good for the society. But, you will find many premature mothers in India especially in small towns and villages. Time has been changing and we are developing; are we really focusing on a healthy and upgraded society.

During recent survey conducted in India by WHO, 45% women accepted that they got married before attaining the age of 18 years. Legal age for marriage in India is 18 years for girls and 21 years for boys. Bal Vivah still prevails in India and there are many places in India where people don’t mind getting their children married before the legal age. Just imagine the situation of a girl who gets married at an age of 10 to 12 years. She is so innocent and young to even understand the meaning of the relationships; that little child, who is still at the stage of playing and kidding is sent to her in laws after marriage and her parents expect her to be happy. Don’t we think, it’s totally out of the sense and indiectly it’s a social as well as moral crime. We are snatching the childhood pleasure, experience and all innocence by doing this.

Several social awareness camps have been organized and many movies and serials (Including the recent one-Balika Badhu on Colours) have been shown to people across the country; but the result is not so encouraging. Figures speak; 45% of women are still there, who were made to do so and people behind this are true criminals as they have taken the first step to ruin their life. Many premature marriage come to an end with sexual harassment and death due to premature pregnancy; what should be call such incidences; are we doing justification with our ethics and morale. Simly no; we need to pause at this level from taking part in this; each and every Indian is responsible in development of our society and should be active in preventing all these social discriminations.

Child BrideSeveral laws have been incorporated but, we need to follow them instead of waiting for some one to come to us and stop these ill factors. Laws are to be followed peacefully and not to be enforced once things necessarily wrong. Good news is that, a large portion of the population has accepted the need of hours and avoiding Bal Vivah; still, there are many places where it’s going on; so, when we will be able to eradicate this social crime completely.

Wake up Indians! Stop Bal Vivah!

Should we develop only for the sake of Common Wealth Games 2010

Common Wealth Games 2010Do we call ourselves fortunate because of upcoming Common Wealth Games in Delhi next year, or we have other reasons to celebrate? We have seen lot of hue and cry about the common wealth games 2010 to be hosted by the capital of India. There is no doubt that we have seen drastic changes in infrastructure development for welcoming tons of money from this grand event. Don’t you think we deserve the same pace of development and upgradation even if such events are not coming. We have a history of making things improved for others and not for us; same story goes with the 2010 common wealth games.

Why we should thank this grand event? Metro is the biggest achievement for Delhites, which has a prime intention to help thousands of commuters every day. Secondly, rising number of flyovers have certainly justified the staus of Delhi as an advanced city. Several other things have been planned including multi level parking, enhanced security measures

Hotels, which are the least discussed among all these developments are one of the gifts of the common wealth games’ planning. Government has allowed many residents to convert their 3-BHK into a small motel to accomodate the huge number of foreigners expected to visit India next year. However, it’s difficult to understand the long term purpose of such an increased number of hotels in Delhi-NCR and whether or not the investment will be good in long run, in really interested to see. Any way, it’s a welcome change and upgradation for every one and we wish similar things to happen with increased frequency.

We have pumped every possible resources to make the event a grand success (making money with money). In spite of all these factors, we should maintain the same pace of development not only in Delhi but all over the country irrespective of events and showoffs.

India’s Got Talent….. Proud to be an Indian

indias-got-talent

“India is a country of rich cultural heritage.”  I have used this line in so many essays or articles in my lifetime but i really had an essence of it once I watched the episodes of the newly aired reality show, “India’s Got Talent”, on Colors.

The show brings a plethora of talents brought and presented in the same platform from the nook and corner of our Country. It is an experience to be watching the show as the talent is not restricted to any field. There are dancers of Gidda and bhangra, the village circus art in “Raibhensi” performers, village charmers, folk singers, jugglers, singers, dancers,  performances by challenged people… in short you name a talent and they have it. In some cases you may not have even thought of a talent which the contestants seem to display. Few acts were unforgetable ones. There was a group of young men and women who designed and enacted a computer game to a dark auditorium by wearing neon dresses and complementing props. The judges admitted that they have never seen even something closest to it in the whole world. There were some performances on balance and jugglery which held the audience by awe.  The judges are Shekhar Kapur, the veteran Film Director, Sonali Bendre, the famous bollywood actor and Kiron Kher, the talented bollywood and theatre personality.  All 3 admit that they havent had such an experience in their lifetime.  Some of the contestants are from very humble backgrounds where they admit that they dont even have a house to stay in but their talent is so deep that they seem much  rich even in comparison to the richest men in India.

My heart filled with pride watching the performances by the contestants as the fields of talent display were so varied and unique. It made me remind of so many forgotten arts of India which need to be preserved. Some performances made our eyes moist as we seemed so small in comparison to the physically challenged powerhouse of talent performers. A worth mention is a stand that the 3 judges took towards children losing their innocence of childhood in some performances. The judges requested the parents of some children to stop robbing the innocence of their child by encouraging them to dance item numbers wearing cheap dresses with seductive moves. I think it is commendable on the part of the judges to have come up with such a thought provoking stand.

Believe me, your heart will fill with pride and emotion for India, the wonderful land where we are luky to be born in. I dont think there will be any country in the world which can display such vast variety and diversity in talent as India. This show will spread National unity and make us feel thankful to God to be born as Indians. A country, which may not be the richest country of the world in gold and money reserves but undoubtedly the unchallenged richest country in spirituality, culture, tradition, hospitality, and in talent. So do watch ” India’s Got talent” and dont forget to salute the country saying , “Jai Ho!”

Happily unmarried .

indian_marriage

Happily unmarried .

Marriage is always a most talked about subject in the universe. the married and the unmarried  have  different opinions about marriage and its side effects .But the most baffling is , “Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasures” .As this comment admits that marriage is painful condition  but does not give celibacy the advantage of being a better state .More over the days are gone when state of being unmarried was equated to celibacy . so the subject is  a very complicated one and there are no chances of its being simplified in near future but the relevance of marriage to contentment  and stability is still there. before I venture too far from my subject let me retreat. Bachelors and spinsters have to pay different penalties for their freedom . While I explore the comic side of the price the spinsters pay the other side must be equally interesting.
One day my friend told me that spinster is a word used generally in a derogatory manner for single women (“who fail to catch a fish”, she winked and said to make her point strong)   and that was the reason she wanted me get married . Her comment challenged my sense of humor and I said “but my dictionary says, woman who can make the heads “spin” and “ stir” the heart till they die are called spinsters”. “your dictionary must have been edited by some married person whose sweetheart never married him to enjoy the freedom.” I pressed my point.  Thereafter she never commented on the issue probably for her own safety and my relief.
Then there are people who take a sympathetic view of your lot and think that you are in a state of perpetual agony because you are not married They call you for dinners  and lunches so that you should not feel left out and give you some ideas to be happy. While the gastronomical delights are welcome the other enlightenments are impenetrable .
Doubtlessly India is a democratic country because unlike any other country in the world we have all the rights and the right to interfere in others life is matchless ( with special quotas for the aunties ) .aunties can say any thing to anybody and I  think they have special civil liberties when it comes to marrying of the singles in the vicinity .  like eagles spot their preys and dash on it with matchless speed and if you are not alert enough you are married before you realize it . After the act, the happiness on their face can not be explained in words . and when they see their prey surrounded by children and nagging spouse the wily aunt giggles  to glory .
To marry or not to marry is a very personal question but in India it is personal question to be compulsorily solved by public at large and that too with a compulsion  of marring the first available kill  . the unmarried are amusingly treated like the chickens with bird flu ,married before they choose otherwise  .
My scorn is aimed  not at the institution of marriage but at the way, the reason and the mediator that people employ to get married .but that is the way things are in our society so all that can be said is long live the aunties who settle the long lasting marriages.

jyoti thatte
nagpur

Decriminalising homosexuality in India…. A Welcome Change

homo

The recent Delhi High Court judgement that decriminalised homosexuality has created a hue and cry amongst various organizations, communities, intellectualls and many, but i feel its a welcome change, a wiff of fresh air to call a spade a spade and accept things as they are by shedding off masks of hypocricy.

Leaders of various religious groups have however described this judgement as shocking, deplorable and unfortunate and an attempt by various quarters to encourage and popularise “unnatural sexual behaviour or perversion” and a “calculated effort” to impose the western value system into a country like India with strong and rich cultural lineage. I however beg to differ.

I feel, sexual preference is an extremely personal choice and there should be no interference of the court into it. Moreover, It is we who determined terms as “sexually straight”. For homosexuals, the other part of the world may not seem ,”sexually straight”. Every human being has a right to his  or her sexuality and just because of someone’s preference one cannot criminalise him or her. We live in this society where homosexuality was existant since ancient ages. We know stories of homosexuals being employed by kings to protect queens in their harems.  The statues of the ancient monuments of  Konark, khajuraho etc of India has projected homosexuality present in those ages in India. The moral police opposing this judgement cannot call this as a western concept thus.

India, the world’s largest democracy, one of the most tolerant countries of the world, which together unites different castes, communities, creed and religion had to take this step ahead to live to its true sense of tolerance  against this minority community. This decision will help people not to be forced to feel ashamed for something which they cannot change. It is the way they are, and we have to respect them for it rather than criminalise them. Homosexuality is not a diesease or a disablement. It is there in our society and its high time we accept it and respect them for what they are. The very hypocricy and hush hush with which this topic is handed in our society have led to cases of forced marriages of homosexuals to a person of their opposite gender. This has ruined the life of so many young men and women. This decision will prevent unfortunate cases like this where at least such couples leading a false life can file for a divorce and live with partners of their choice.

I believe in respecting an indiviual for the way one is and giving him his rights to live…. right to sexuality is just one of them.  Lets have mutual respect and tolerance for everyone in the society we live in because every one is special in his or her own way and hence has the right to walk with his mind without fear and head held high. In the words of Gurudev Rabindranath Thakur,

“Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.”
freedom1