Answer me, God!

One incident took away almost everything from my world. Aayush, my younger son was only 4 months old then; I could have never heard the word “mamma” from him  neither would I knew how well my elder son, Aryan could sing or how handsome he looks in his all white cricketing attire. It all happened little more than a year back but it is still so vivid in my mind as if it happened just a week before. I am writing this on the eve of my birthday, thanks to the saviour for he gave me an opportunity to celebrate my birthday this year with my family.

We met with a  road accident when we were coming back from Pondicherry to Chennai after spending a superb holiday. Our red car, as Aryan recalls, “Papa’s red car fell and broke into pieces so papa bought a big black car.” Our car was rammed by a xylo from behind and the world became darkness to me.

When I was back to my senses, a month had passed and I was still in the hospital with a severe head injury. The worst thing that happened during this accident was that I suffered from retrograde amnesia and lost my last one-year memory. Due to that, I even forgot my younger son, since he was only 4 months then. Still, I keep on urging everyone individually, not to disclose this to him when he grows up. He will be very hurt when he will know his mother did not remember him. Many more things happened in that one-month period when I was in the hospital, but I was simply clueless.

Finally, one day I was released from the hospital, still on a prescription to continue my high dose medicines for an indefinite time. One day I was just lying in my bed, and found my aunt’s digital camera. She came down from Kolkata during those wretched days to help us. I took the camera and started browsing the pics in it. I saw the first pic, and then the second and then as I pressed the next button, the third pic came up. I stared at the picture blankly. It was Aayush’s pic, with one of his leg wrapped with a white plaster. I immediately ran to my hubby to enquire further. He didn’t hide a bit and told me Aayush fractured his leg during the accident. If that was not all, the fracture got detected after a couple of days when the leg started to swell. Poor Aayush underwent a massive pain for those two days.  In addition, my elder son, Aryan who was only 3 and half years then, broke his left collarbone and was in trauma since he was the only one who saw the whole thing. I became numb and only my tears, which do not follow any rules, continued to roll down my cheek. He also said that every night both the kids kept on crying. The younger one tried to pronounce “mamma” and kept on crying and the elder one, kept on asking everyone when his mother will come back to him.

For better care, my hubby sent me to my mothers place to Kolkata after a few days post my return from the hospital. During that stay, I would ask my mother about all that happened when I was not in my senses. She would always start her narration with Anirban, my hubby, how he took care of me. He was badly injured too in the accident, 21 stitches in his head and with a broken shoulder, still he spent all the nights in the hospital sitting next to me. His routine was somewhat like this; he joined his office few days after the accident – he would go to his office in the morning, return by 5 pm, then feed and make Aryan sleep (He was not allowing anyone to feed him and making him sleep).  After Aryan slept, hubby would have his dinner and go to the hospital with my dinner. He would feed me and then used to sit the whole night awake next to my bed and the next day morning again the routine continued…. I always love my hubby a lot but after hearing all this from my mother, that love increased manifolds and the respect I had for him increased too. He too was badly injured and required proper rest after the accident, but due to his commitments then he did not get any rest and now he is suffering from the side effects. 6 months after the accident, he started getting tremendous back pain, for which he still have sleepless nights. After a check up from the doctor, we came to know during the accident, he badly hurt his back, if he would have taken proper rest then after the accident, now he would not suffer from the side affects. I am very lucky to have him as my best half; he showed me what life is and where happiness lies.

I had no clue what my parents went through as i am their only daughter. Few months back when I was visiting  my aunt, the topic reappeared. She disclosed that my mother kept fasting because I could not eat properly when I was in the hospital. She used to tell, “I will leave my fasting only when my daughter starts eating normal diet.” ‘Hat’s off to you maa, you have shown me what mothers are for and thanks baba for your support.I know you too went through a lot of pain !”

A year flew by but the stigma of the incidence is still crystal-clear in my mind. Very frequently, I get the memories flushing my mind and I always ask with moist eyes – ‘why it was me and my family, who had to experience such a horrible fate.’ This is the only question that I have for Him, the power known as God!

Come on, Everything is not possible!

Raindrops were caressing her face and were giving her the ultimate happiness and pleasure, as Jiya drove past one more hairpin bend. It was drizzling and she enjoyed every single drop touching her body. Jiya was driving her scooty and Vicky was sitting behind her and was enjoying the strands of Jiya’s silky hair, playing with his face.

Jiya and Vicky had a brief courtship and about 2 weeks back they finally tied the knot. They were residing in Mumbai and were off to Khandala for their honeymoon. They had just entered the ghat road when all of a sudden to their pleasure it started to drizzle. Jiya loved driving her scooty and she continued to drive through the ghat roads as the drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. They were all wet and looked out for a shelter, but it was hard to find one on the expressway. Jiya slowed down and both of them looked here and there in quest for a shelter and at the following hairpin bend, Jiya missed to spot of a speeding Xylo heading from the opposite direction; within seconds, the Xylo rammed the scooty head on.

Jiya came back to her senses after 10 days and found herself in the hospital bed with tubes connected all over her body. Jiya’s mom was standing beside her with teary eyes. Jiya asked her mom, “Mom? Why am I here? What has happened to me?”Her mom said, “Hail the almighty! You have recognized me Jiya!”

“Am I not supposed to remember you?” Jia asked in a tired tone.

“You had a severe head injury as you met with an accident on the way to Khandala, dear,” cried her mom. “The doctor was not sure if you will remember anyone of us at all! It is only God’s grace that you survived even after such a severe accident and that too on your honeymoon trip!”

“Honeymoon? Mine? What rubbish! When the hell did I get married?” Jiya asked in a confused tone. Her mother gave a flabbergasted look, within moments her eyes were moist, and she broke down into tears.

It was almost 2 weeks; Jiya was still on the hospital bed but to Jiya’s mom astonishment Jiya never asked her about Vicky. After a week, Jiya was transferred to a cabin. Jiya’s mom was on a call and was standing by the window in Jiya’s cabin, when a tall, fair, and handsome guy entered the cabin with an arm sling around his neck. He came up to Jiya and asked, “How are you feeling now?”

Jiya looked at him blankly and in the meantime, Jiya’s mom was back. She slowly said, “Who is this Jiya? Can’t you recognise him? He is Vicky, your husband!”

Vicky took his mother-in-law in the corner and said, “Mom, I just had a talk with the doctors, they said Jiya was badly hurt in her head and as a result she has gone into a state of anterograde amnesia; but doctor said within a year or so hopefully she will be fine,” he concluded with moist eyes.

“What does than mean, beta?” asked the anxious mom.

“Well whatever I understood from their conversation, it means that she is suffering from short term memory loss and all happenings that occurred during the last year or so in her life have completely got erased.”

Jiya’s mom felt almost hysteric; with immense effort she tried to control herself and spoke, “How are you now beta?”

Vicky replied, “Mom I am fine now. I just broke my hand in the accident. I flew off during the impact and fell on a big block of stone. The doctors have plastered it and asked me to take rest as much as possible and since you are here with Jiya, I usually come in the evenings to see her and take updates from doctors,” he paused. “Jiya was the prime victim. She was very badly injured. After the accident when I was back to my senses and found my face was covered with blood but Jiya was not responding to anything. People there had already called for an ambulance and we both came here immediately after it arrived.”

Everyday evening Vicky came to Jiya with a hope that she will recognise him but that never happened. Everyday whenever he entered Jiya’s cabin, she blankly looked at him. A couple of week later doctor said to Vicky, “look we tried our level best; everything is not possible to get back in your life, once lost. Surely, you people are blessed ones, so you are still alive after such a fatal accident. You can take Jiya home, but without fail continue the medicines. If you notice any degradation or progress, please do inform me, and bring her for a check-up.”

Vicky assumed that once Jiya comes home, seeing all know things, she might get back the memory. However, there was no change after Jiya came back to her house. She used to stay quiet and most of the time she would stand by the window and looked out. Vicky used to show her their pictures together, even the marriage DVD but there was no change. Vicky took her to the restaurant she liked, bought her the things she liked but all in vain. They occupied separate rooms even as she refused to believe that she was married to him.

One night it was raining heavily, in the midnight, Jiya woke up after hearing a blistering noise of thunder. She got down from her bed, walked to the window, and looked outside. Meanwhile, Vicky came to Jiya’s room to check if everything was fine or not; his eyes soon caught Jiya by the window; he stared at her and he was nostalgic.

Memories started to flow – how they enjoyed each other’s company when they were in during their courtship. They both loved to have golgappa at the chowpatty and then a hot cup of tea from Ramu mama’s shack on the beach. He recalled how much Jiya loved walking in the rain and always forced him to walk with her.

Jiya by then turned and walked up to the bed, Vicky was back to his senses, and he closed the door and went back to his room. The next day Vicky left for an important official trip to Chennai for a month so he asked his mother-in-law to be with Jiya.

The month just flew by; it was time for Vicky’s return. He was optimistic that this time Jiya would recognise him for sure and welcome him back with a warm hug. When he rang the bell of his house it was his mother-in-law who opened the door. Vicky entered and saw Jiya was sitting on the sofa with a newspaper in her hand but staring at him. Vicky anticipated a miracle but she didn’t show any reaction, took her eyes off him.Vicky understood, and slowly went to his room. Soon his mother-in-law came to his room and said, “Vicky can you take Jiya to the doctor this evening? A month has passed but she is showing no improvement”. He took her to the doctor that evening and after a MRI scan, the doctor said, “Vicky, the blood clots are still there and hence not of much improvement. Hopefully it will slowly get dissolved but may take another couple of years!”

Since then five more years had passed by; everything still remains the same. Every morning Vicky wakes up with the hope that the sunshine of the new dawn will drive away the gloomy darkness of their life. He still prays looking at her blank eyes that they shall overcome the toughest test of their lives some day, when he dreams of the eon of their togetherness and the opportunity for a fresh start to a life personified for both of them; rediscover their togetherness all over again.

Confession of a solitary lover

Rimi missed his touch, the warmth of his hug; but she was not in a position to disclose it to anyone as she was married to Aakash. She knew her confession would ruin her married life!

Everyday she waited for his call, his mail, or maybe just a one-liner text. All those made her feel close to him. She was gradually getting dependent on him, for everything, he was like a sunrise in her gloomy life. Aakash, her hubby, a corporate manager in a leading MNC, was too busy with his official trips and hardly could give her any time. She was married for two years and quite naturally, she always craved for time from him. However, always in vain!

Rimi got married early and like most of the Indian marriages it was an arranged one. Aakash despite being the most eligible bachelor, decided to marry Rimi as he was impressed with her simplicity and innocence. Post marriage they moved to Pune, where Aakash was working.

Soon she found an alternative to devote her time to. She used to spend her time going through mails from Ronny, her childhood dude, someone she felt knowing like the back of her palm and knowingly or unknowingly liked. She used to cherish those moments when she read their chat transcripts saved on Yahoo! Messenger.  It made her feel connected to him.

It was a Sunday evening, when Rimi went to Barista alone to chill out. Aakash needless to say was out of town, busy in one of his usual business trips. She ordered for a hot mocha and when she was receiving the drink from the counter, she felt that she just saw Ronny. ‘Illusion for sure,’ she though and soon took her eyes off the person in question. She took a seat near the glass casement from where she will get a lovely view of the overlooking hills. She took a sip of the hot coffee and looked blankly towards those serene cliffs, when she felt someone was tapping on her shoulder. She turned around in a flash and the person standing in front was Ronny indeed. He took a chair next to her after Rimi’s bafflement was over. They talked and talked and Rimi came to know that, Ronny too had shifted to Pune and was employed as a relationship manager in one of the four star hotels in the city.

After an hour and a half of tete-a-tete, Rimi realised it was quite late and she have to go home. They planned to meet again. Days passed by and they continued to meet regularly. Meanwhile Ronny started to mail her often and at times called her too. She used to wait for all the communication from him and when that was not there, she knew that he must be quite busy. After all she knew her from childhood, and knew his habits well, which always made her confident about him. Even when she used to show fake anger, Ronny would chime some extol or would send some funny sms, which would compel her to burst into laughter. Happy days continued… until one day they got involved into an affair.

Rimi always felt closer to Ronny due to his proximity and not like Aakash roaming around the world on business trips and the love she got from him which was unmatched compared to the aloofness she got from Aakash. Rimi always felt time flying when she was with Ronny; she started drifting away from Aakash more and more. Even when Aakash was in Pune they hardly spent any time together. Rimi avoided eye contact with Aakash as somewhere she knew she was wrong. Aakash reminded busy with work and hardly noticing that his wife was into an extra marital affair for about a year.

Time flew and Aakash was off to Australia to attend a global meet. Rimi planned to meet Ronny in that same Barista, where they first met to celebrate the first anniversary of their affair. Ronny was waiting there in the cafe and through the glass window he saw Rimi heading towards the joint with quite a few shopping bags in her hand. She had just crossed the main road, when a big Innova came and banged her from behind. She fell flat, clad with blood; all her bags scattered here and there. She felt dizzy but just had enough strength to take out her cell phone and called Ronny. But Ronny didn’t take the call. He saw everything but simply vanished to save himself from an impending problem. Rimi managed to go to the phonebook and searched her hubby’s number. It took a while to find the same, since she rarely spoke to him over phone, Finally when she found it, she called him and the only thing she managed to say before she lost her sense “I am sorry, I betrayed you, and God punished me for that,” her voice faded. She returned to her sense after 2 days, to find herself admitted in a hospital and next to her bed stood Aakash. She expected Ronny to be there next to her, but its was Aakash who was there.

Later that evening when Aakash went home to change, the nurse came to Rimi to give her medicine. Rimi asked her “When did my husband come here? Was there any other guy who came to see me?”

The sister replied, “It was only your husband who was here with you for 24hrs.2day you got back your senses, so now he went home to change. He very frequently took updates from doctors, enquiring about you. He was very concerned about you. You are a lucky girl; you have got such a loving and caring husband.”

Rimi looked blankly at her. She asked the sister for her cell phone and checked for missed calls and incoming SMS during past 2 days. She was surprised to see nothing was from Ronny. She called Ronny, but he didn’t take the call and she thought he must be busy. But she was also wondering that she was supposed to meet him 2 days back and she could not do so for this accident; still why Ronny didn’t call her or send her a SMS?

Rimi got discharged after 2 more days. Aakash was with her for 24hrs in this last 2 days and he fed her, he helped her to go to the toilet as she got a fracture in her leg in the accident. Rimi was having the best time since marriage. They came home. and everything suddenly seemed to be very perfect. Rimi found Aakash was giving him time and was loving her the way she wanted. She realized, Aakash was an introvert person so he could not show what he felt. Now even he understood what Rimi wanted and he started trying to change his way of showing love. Aakash never asked Rimi why she said him about the betrayal. it was 10 on 10 life now for both of them…but Rimi really wanted to know how busy Ronny was.

One day she took out sometime and went to Ronny’s hotel and to her astonishment she found he was cajoling with a girl, who seemed to be his colleague. She saw them both sitting in the garden closely, hand in hand, coaxing … Rimi then knew how busy he actually was!

Accident-27th Jan,2011

I woke up, as usual, at 9:00 a.m. after 6 alarms and lots of scolding from my mom. She was getting late and I had promised her to drop at bus stand at 9:15 a.m. I brushed my teeth and was looking for cricket news in net. It was 9:20 already.

“Sarthak, I have to buy sauce pouches for my lunch, so I am going to the grocer, you can pick me up from there”, mom said.

I was not even dressed up. So, didn’t bother to change my T-shirt. Just put on jeans and left home. I started bike and drove out of building’s gate. Just after crossing next 3 buildings, I came to a corner which connects this small road to main colony road. I blew horn twice; there was no response from either left or right. So, I again took a look for any vehicle, when there wasn’t any, I accelerated my bike. In the flash of second, I heard

“BANG…!!!”

A guy on a red pulsar came from the next corner with around 50-55 kmph (this speed is very fast for the small colony road, always packed with the cars parked on both sides) from wrong side of the road who was totally out of sight just a second before; He could not control his speed and dashed onto my front wheel. The rider went flying and bumped on the Honda City parked on left side. From the car he bounced and stuck his right side of body on the compound wall of the next bungalow.

Fortunately, my bike was slow and it absorbed all the impact of the rushing bike, but I suffered from few cuts, bruises and muscle strain in thighs as both bikes fell on me. But, the other guy was injured more seriously and was unconscious for next 5 minutes. People gathered at the site took him to the nearby hospital.

I called mom and asked her to go by auto. She asked the reason. I narrated her whole incident. She was so shocked that she came almost running and was on the verge of crying (But it’s her good luck that she was not with me on the bike otherwise she might be the most injured one in this case).

I took my bike and started looking for the damage (front disc brake wire and glass above the headlight is broken).

Mom took me home. She was tensed and frightened a lot and before going to job, she locked me inside home so that even if someone comes enquiring about the incident, he will find home locked.

Meanwhile, the owner of Honda City came looking for me, but, our watchman told him that I was taken to the hospital. So, he left. Later I came to know that he was my aunt’s brother-in-law.

My parents took leave from their respective jobs and came home. When I told them about Honda City, they went to his office and apologised. But, some people from his office had witnessed the accident and told my parents that it was not my fault at all. My aunt’s brother-in-law, too, consoled them and told them not to worry as his car was already sent to insurance office.

Overall, It was a day full of tension (to my parents) and a new experience (or say adventure) for me.

non violence vs violence

ACCIDENT, a condition of affairs, in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body better. I agreed with this droll definition of accident when the other day I read that the crowd set afire vehicles after a speeding truck killed a youth on Pardi Naka. It was yet another instance of displaced violence and so I dismissed it as one of the regular things which finds place in our newspapers. Having never had a feel of such incidence, we are fed up of reading such news. But when someone close to us becomes a victim of such incidence we understand why the scribes pay so much attention to such news.

riot-at-un-conferenceIt was Sunday and one of my friends asked me to read a particular article in a vernacular paper. The article was about my lecturer at the SFS College who got caught up in the riots that broke after the accident at Pardi Naka. The windows and other glass screens of her car were smashed. Even after the incident she continued her tour and returned to Nagpur after delivering the lecture for which she was going to Lakhni .I shuddered imagining the situation and what she might have gone through while the crowd attacked the car. The thought provoked a curiosity and concern and I visited her the following day and quizzed her about it.

She was her normal self cool and smiling and ready with a cup of coffee. I asked her whether she panicked when the crowd came with torches and the stones smashed the windows. She coolly said “I was more worried for the driver and the young couple that accompanied me”. Her focus was more on the lecture that she had to deliver and the fact that a young and beautiful girl was accompanying her. The young couple that was with her was under her care she felt the responsibility even when she was at the receiving end of the misplaced rancor. I felt proud that I was her student and told her so. I had read the review of her lecture at Lakhni and knew that she was as usual very good and entertaining. She further said just when she was entering the limit of Nagpur city she informed the family members about the incidence so that they should not get a jolt on seeing the badly injured car. When she reached home and every body saw what damages the car had suffered and all they did was to send the car for repairs immediately. As the damaged car would have sent panic waves.

A fitting response from the brave family. On reflecting on the above incident it can be confidently said the violence can be effectively tackled by keeping the head cool in adverse situation. It is generally said that educated people give lectures about peace because they are not at the receiving end of the violence. But if we see in detail the news regarding the responses of the sane in such cases we are pleasantly surprised that they generally face it boldly and continue as if nothing has happened.

Though such instances leave a deep scar on their mind but by setting a brave example they teach us the best way to deal with violence.