Answer me, God!

One incident took away almost everything from my world. Aayush, my younger son was only 4 months old then; I could have never heard the word “mamma” from him  neither would I knew how well my elder son, Aryan could sing or how handsome he looks in his all white cricketing attire. It all happened little more than a year back but it is still so vivid in my mind as if it happened just a week before. I am writing this on the eve of my birthday, thanks to the saviour for he gave me an opportunity to celebrate my birthday this year with my family.

We met with a  road accident when we were coming back from Pondicherry to Chennai after spending a superb holiday. Our red car, as Aryan recalls, “Papa’s red car fell and broke into pieces so papa bought a big black car.” Our car was rammed by a xylo from behind and the world became darkness to me.

When I was back to my senses, a month had passed and I was still in the hospital with a severe head injury. The worst thing that happened during this accident was that I suffered from retrograde amnesia and lost my last one-year memory. Due to that, I even forgot my younger son, since he was only 4 months then. Still, I keep on urging everyone individually, not to disclose this to him when he grows up. He will be very hurt when he will know his mother did not remember him. Many more things happened in that one-month period when I was in the hospital, but I was simply clueless.

Finally, one day I was released from the hospital, still on a prescription to continue my high dose medicines for an indefinite time. One day I was just lying in my bed, and found my aunt’s digital camera. She came down from Kolkata during those wretched days to help us. I took the camera and started browsing the pics in it. I saw the first pic, and then the second and then as I pressed the next button, the third pic came up. I stared at the picture blankly. It was Aayush’s pic, with one of his leg wrapped with a white plaster. I immediately ran to my hubby to enquire further. He didn’t hide a bit and told me Aayush fractured his leg during the accident. If that was not all, the fracture got detected after a couple of days when the leg started to swell. Poor Aayush underwent a massive pain for those two days.  In addition, my elder son, Aryan who was only 3 and half years then, broke his left collarbone and was in trauma since he was the only one who saw the whole thing. I became numb and only my tears, which do not follow any rules, continued to roll down my cheek. He also said that every night both the kids kept on crying. The younger one tried to pronounce “mamma” and kept on crying and the elder one, kept on asking everyone when his mother will come back to him.

For better care, my hubby sent me to my mothers place to Kolkata after a few days post my return from the hospital. During that stay, I would ask my mother about all that happened when I was not in my senses. She would always start her narration with Anirban, my hubby, how he took care of me. He was badly injured too in the accident, 21 stitches in his head and with a broken shoulder, still he spent all the nights in the hospital sitting next to me. His routine was somewhat like this; he joined his office few days after the accident – he would go to his office in the morning, return by 5 pm, then feed and make Aryan sleep (He was not allowing anyone to feed him and making him sleep).  After Aryan slept, hubby would have his dinner and go to the hospital with my dinner. He would feed me and then used to sit the whole night awake next to my bed and the next day morning again the routine continued…. I always love my hubby a lot but after hearing all this from my mother, that love increased manifolds and the respect I had for him increased too. He too was badly injured and required proper rest after the accident, but due to his commitments then he did not get any rest and now he is suffering from the side effects. 6 months after the accident, he started getting tremendous back pain, for which he still have sleepless nights. After a check up from the doctor, we came to know during the accident, he badly hurt his back, if he would have taken proper rest then after the accident, now he would not suffer from the side affects. I am very lucky to have him as my best half; he showed me what life is and where happiness lies.

I had no clue what my parents went through as i am their only daughter. Few months back when I was visiting  my aunt, the topic reappeared. She disclosed that my mother kept fasting because I could not eat properly when I was in the hospital. She used to tell, “I will leave my fasting only when my daughter starts eating normal diet.” ‘Hat’s off to you maa, you have shown me what mothers are for and thanks baba for your support.I know you too went through a lot of pain !”

A year flew by but the stigma of the incidence is still crystal-clear in my mind. Very frequently, I get the memories flushing my mind and I always ask with moist eyes – ‘why it was me and my family, who had to experience such a horrible fate.’ This is the only question that I have for Him, the power known as God!

Come on, Everything is not possible!

Raindrops were caressing her face and were giving her the ultimate happiness and pleasure, as Jiya drove past one more hairpin bend. It was drizzling and she enjoyed every single drop touching her body. Jiya was driving her scooty and Vicky was sitting behind her and was enjoying the strands of Jiya’s silky hair, playing with his face.

Jiya and Vicky had a brief courtship and about 2 weeks back they finally tied the knot. They were residing in Mumbai and were off to Khandala for their honeymoon. They had just entered the ghat road when all of a sudden to their pleasure it started to drizzle. Jiya loved driving her scooty and she continued to drive through the ghat roads as the drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. They were all wet and looked out for a shelter, but it was hard to find one on the expressway. Jiya slowed down and both of them looked here and there in quest for a shelter and at the following hairpin bend, Jiya missed to spot of a speeding Xylo heading from the opposite direction; within seconds, the Xylo rammed the scooty head on.

Jiya came back to her senses after 10 days and found herself in the hospital bed with tubes connected all over her body. Jiya’s mom was standing beside her with teary eyes. Jiya asked her mom, “Mom? Why am I here? What has happened to me?”Her mom said, “Hail the almighty! You have recognized me Jiya!”

“Am I not supposed to remember you?” Jia asked in a tired tone.

“You had a severe head injury as you met with an accident on the way to Khandala, dear,” cried her mom. “The doctor was not sure if you will remember anyone of us at all! It is only God’s grace that you survived even after such a severe accident and that too on your honeymoon trip!”

“Honeymoon? Mine? What rubbish! When the hell did I get married?” Jiya asked in a confused tone. Her mother gave a flabbergasted look, within moments her eyes were moist, and she broke down into tears.

It was almost 2 weeks; Jiya was still on the hospital bed but to Jiya’s mom astonishment Jiya never asked her about Vicky. After a week, Jiya was transferred to a cabin. Jiya’s mom was on a call and was standing by the window in Jiya’s cabin, when a tall, fair, and handsome guy entered the cabin with an arm sling around his neck. He came up to Jiya and asked, “How are you feeling now?”

Jiya looked at him blankly and in the meantime, Jiya’s mom was back. She slowly said, “Who is this Jiya? Can’t you recognise him? He is Vicky, your husband!”

Vicky took his mother-in-law in the corner and said, “Mom, I just had a talk with the doctors, they said Jiya was badly hurt in her head and as a result she has gone into a state of anterograde amnesia; but doctor said within a year or so hopefully she will be fine,” he concluded with moist eyes.

“What does than mean, beta?” asked the anxious mom.

“Well whatever I understood from their conversation, it means that she is suffering from short term memory loss and all happenings that occurred during the last year or so in her life have completely got erased.”

Jiya’s mom felt almost hysteric; with immense effort she tried to control herself and spoke, “How are you now beta?”

Vicky replied, “Mom I am fine now. I just broke my hand in the accident. I flew off during the impact and fell on a big block of stone. The doctors have plastered it and asked me to take rest as much as possible and since you are here with Jiya, I usually come in the evenings to see her and take updates from doctors,” he paused. “Jiya was the prime victim. She was very badly injured. After the accident when I was back to my senses and found my face was covered with blood but Jiya was not responding to anything. People there had already called for an ambulance and we both came here immediately after it arrived.”

Everyday evening Vicky came to Jiya with a hope that she will recognise him but that never happened. Everyday whenever he entered Jiya’s cabin, she blankly looked at him. A couple of week later doctor said to Vicky, “look we tried our level best; everything is not possible to get back in your life, once lost. Surely, you people are blessed ones, so you are still alive after such a fatal accident. You can take Jiya home, but without fail continue the medicines. If you notice any degradation or progress, please do inform me, and bring her for a check-up.”

Vicky assumed that once Jiya comes home, seeing all know things, she might get back the memory. However, there was no change after Jiya came back to her house. She used to stay quiet and most of the time she would stand by the window and looked out. Vicky used to show her their pictures together, even the marriage DVD but there was no change. Vicky took her to the restaurant she liked, bought her the things she liked but all in vain. They occupied separate rooms even as she refused to believe that she was married to him.

One night it was raining heavily, in the midnight, Jiya woke up after hearing a blistering noise of thunder. She got down from her bed, walked to the window, and looked outside. Meanwhile, Vicky came to Jiya’s room to check if everything was fine or not; his eyes soon caught Jiya by the window; he stared at her and he was nostalgic.

Memories started to flow – how they enjoyed each other’s company when they were in during their courtship. They both loved to have golgappa at the chowpatty and then a hot cup of tea from Ramu mama’s shack on the beach. He recalled how much Jiya loved walking in the rain and always forced him to walk with her.

Jiya by then turned and walked up to the bed, Vicky was back to his senses, and he closed the door and went back to his room. The next day Vicky left for an important official trip to Chennai for a month so he asked his mother-in-law to be with Jiya.

The month just flew by; it was time for Vicky’s return. He was optimistic that this time Jiya would recognise him for sure and welcome him back with a warm hug. When he rang the bell of his house it was his mother-in-law who opened the door. Vicky entered and saw Jiya was sitting on the sofa with a newspaper in her hand but staring at him. Vicky anticipated a miracle but she didn’t show any reaction, took her eyes off him.Vicky understood, and slowly went to his room. Soon his mother-in-law came to his room and said, “Vicky can you take Jiya to the doctor this evening? A month has passed but she is showing no improvement”. He took her to the doctor that evening and after a MRI scan, the doctor said, “Vicky, the blood clots are still there and hence not of much improvement. Hopefully it will slowly get dissolved but may take another couple of years!”

Since then five more years had passed by; everything still remains the same. Every morning Vicky wakes up with the hope that the sunshine of the new dawn will drive away the gloomy darkness of their life. He still prays looking at her blank eyes that they shall overcome the toughest test of their lives some day, when he dreams of the eon of their togetherness and the opportunity for a fresh start to a life personified for both of them; rediscover their togetherness all over again.

Love, Wedding Scarf and Darkness!

It was a bad day for Ranvir, the previous night fell on a date, which he dearly wanted to forget. He has been trying since last six years but could not forget a bit of it! As a result like all the previous years, he desperately tried to submerge his sorrows in rum until he was dead to the world. As a result, he overslept, sprung out of the bed after getting rid of the cacophony of the alarm clock that went on for forty-five minutes and finally reached his office late with a serious hangover! It was no better even there. He got a solid dressing down from Mr. Dhamija, his grumpy boss for missing the early morning meeting. His sour mood and the hangover prompted Ranvir to call an early day. He left his office and started walking lazily by the busy roads of Greater Kailash in south Delhi. After walking aimlessly for a while, he finally decided to have some hot coffee and entered a bistro located close by, which was his regular hangout spot along with his colleagues. He got comfortable at one corner of the café; ordered his favourite drink and looked outside towards the hustle bustle on the busy road right in front of him.

Suddenly he saw ‘her’ crossing the road and approaching the cafe. She looked gorgeous as ever but suddenly the figure disappeared and instantly Ranvir knew, it was yet another illusion. He felt blue and looked carelessly towards the other tables that were occupied in that cafe. Suddenly his roving eyes saw someone and instantly his eyes congealed. He was contemplating whether it was another illusion. He waited for a while, as if waiting for the illusion to disappear but it was a different story this time. Ranvir realized it was not any chimera but she was really present there in front of him after six long years! She didn’t change much, only she was looking feeble as if almost frail. Her eyes were nevertheless still the same… the same eyes, for which Ranvir could have died for! She was occupying a table for two although she was sitting all alone. Ranvir couldn’t believe his eyes but it was true … she was indeed his love, Payel!

Ranvir first met her in their MBA College and it was a love at first sight. Ranvir, a Punjabi lad, was the most handsome guy in their class and Payel was a sweet and cute Bong beauty. They clicked instantly and soon became the most happening couple in the institute. It made all others think that how perfect match both of them made. In the next two years of their MBA course their bond became stronger and they were madly in love with each other. They got through campus and both got placed in Bangalore working for the same MNC. Those were the most memorable days of their life. Work was always quite hectic but the weekends helped both of them to be recharged for the following week. During weekends, they made short trips to near by places like Mysore, Coorg or Kabini forest and it made them feel that both were on top of the world. Without even realising two years elapsed. They finally planned to get into the wedlock and spend the rest of their life together. Soon they planned to inform their respective families but they didn’t know that will change their lives forever!

Both the families were very conservative, after hearing about their marriage proposal; their eyebrows rose, as if it was a deadly crime for a Brahmin girl to fall for a Khatri guy and vice versa. Ranvir and Payel tried hard to convince their parents but all were in vain. Both families were not even ready to meet each other for once. Sadness engulfed both Ranvir and Payel’s lives. They didn’t know what to do, they couldn’t even afford to loose each other and finally they came to the decision that they didn’t ever dreamt in their wildest dream. They planned to get married without informing their families. Payel was very close to her father, so she thought that she must at least go and meet him for one last time before they would take the ultimate step.

One-day Ranvir said, “Hey love, as soon as you come back from Kolkata, we will get married. I will take care of everything here. I will keep everything ready to start our new world…” She smiled and hugged him, tears rolled down her cheeks thinking that she is going to take the most important decision of her life without the support from her parents. Before leaving for her hometown, they both went to shop for their wedding. She bought her wedding dress, a red lahenga, while Ranvir bought a white Pathan suit, which would perfectly match with his personality.

They both bought their engagement rings and planned to have the engagement before Payel departs to meet her father. They organised a small get together for their engagement. Only their close friends got the invitation. Payel on the engagement day was clad in a sea green colour sari and resembled almost like a bride. She was looking exceptionally pretty and it was difficult for Ravnir to take his eyes off her. Ranvir on the other hand wore a black sherwani in which he was looking dashing and handsome as always. They exchanged their rings and enjoyed the rest of the evening with their friends. Next day Payel was off to Kolkata.

It became hectic for Ranvir, as he had to attend office as well as do the wedding preparations. He bought a lovely two bedroom flat and decorated it with the perfect shades of curtains and cushions. He used the colours that Payel liked and by end of ten days, their “sweet home” was ready. Ranvir informed the registry office ten days before Payel left for Kolkata, so that they could finish the formalities as soon as she returns. With just two more days left, Ranvir had lots to catch up with. He invited all their friends from office and their college; they planned to do the registry in the registers office and he booked a marriage hall where the reception party would be held. Ranvir was very excited but couldn’t take any chance to call Payel on her cell phone even! Just a couple of days to go for their union and Ranvir felt out of the world. He kissed the engagement ring, and thought, “The countdown has begun. Its only 58hrs 23mins left before we get married… and then you will be all mine. Love you baby”.

Finally, the day had arrived. Ranvir could not sleep the whole night in excitement.  Next morning he got ready and reached the airport by eight, although Payel’s flight was suppose to land at ten only. There was an announcement at 10.10 am,

“Kingfisher flight from Kolkata has just arrived”… Ranvir’s heart started to beat faster and faster. The passengers came out one by one, but Payel was not there. Ranvir became upset and thought Payel might have missed her flight and will come in some other flight. He waited in the airport for the entire day, one by one all the flights from Kolkata came, but Payel did not show up. Ranvir sent a text to Payel but there was no reply. He called up her cell and found it to be not reachable; finally, he gathered the courage and called up on Payel’s home in Kolkata. To his surprise, no one took the call. He was very upset and knew something for sure was wrong. From then each and everyday he waited for Payel to return, giving him a surprise. However, she never turned up!

After five long years, Ranvir finally gave up. He sold his dream house and moved back to his hometown, Delhi.

Ranvir came back to his senses; he had an overflow of the memories. The girl was sitting right there, who made his life miserable. Each and every day of the last six years was like terror, it only had pain, tears and memories. Suddenly he felt a rage within him, without thinking for the second time he instantly got up on his feet went to the table where Payel was sitting.

“Hey, remember me? I am that stupid guy who was or may be still in love with you. See I still have the engagement ring in my finger!” – He barked, “Why did you do this to me? You are the one who made my life miserable and I guess by now you are happily married to some tycoon!”

There was no reaction from Payel and she stared at him blankly.

“Why are you looking at me so blankly? Now don’t say you don’t remember me?” – Ranvir blasted. A girl who was taking a call outside the café, rushed inside and said, “That’s true actually that she does not remember anything!”

Ranvir looked baffled. The girl added, “She met with an accident six years back and succumbed to amnesia!”

Ranvir couldn’t believe to what he was listening. He asked the girl, “Who are you? And how do you know all these?”

“I am Payel’s cousin; I got married two years back and now settled here in Delhi. Payel came to my place for a vacation.” – She replied.

Then she described how Payel met with the accident, just a day before returning to Bangalore. She was coming out from a shopping mall when a reckless driver lost control and the car banged her head on. Her body recoiled out of impact and her head hit the pavement hard. She was admitted to the ICU under fatal condition. The doctors fought hard and saved her. Slowly her wounds healed but the memory was lost forever! She was undergoing treatment since then.

Ranvir stood there and witness, the world to collapse in front of him. He felt as if his heart stopped its rhythm and only tears rolled down his eyes!