One Husband Several Wives and One Wife Several Husbands

“History repeats itself” is no vain statement and it surely does if what has been reported  in the newspapers the  other day is true. The repetition  here has  a small twist, that’s all.

Some years back, probably in Nineties, a man claiming to be an NRI married many young women, stayed with them for a day or two, looted their jewellery and vanished out of sight.

His modus operandi was like this.  He would advertise in  the newspapers that he was on a short leave from USA /UK,  and was looking for a working woman kind of  bride.  There was craze in that era to go abroad, especially USA and  settle down there for a long spell. Many young women like nurses, teachers, clerical staffs, secretaries and  even some junior executives  responded. Our hero chose one who had a good income, went for bride seeing along with a middle aged woman, who he claimed as his elder sister; taking a woman with  him, added  credibility to his game.

After some serious interrogation, he approved of the candidate and fixed the marriage date which was just 4  or 5 days away;  he must go  through the wedding ritual fast  before his leave expired. Oh, was the bride happy?  And the parents were thrilled too.  The man demanded no dowry but the bride may be sent with her personal jewellery and clothes. No parents could have asked for more.

The marriage ceremony was kept very simple.  The wedded couple had their first night in a hotel in the bridal attire. The bride couldn’t spend the night wearing her full   jewellery.  She took them out and kept them in the cupboard or dressing table.  During the night our hero collected them and vanished before it was  dawn. You can imagine the plight of the bride.

In another case, he rang up the bride-to-be and asked her to buy an air ticket, both ways, to  New Delhi.  He would be back on the following day, well in time for the wedding.  That was the last the parents heard of him.  He converted the ticket into cash and disappeared.

He succeeded in seven cases  using different duping methods and the eighth turned out  to be his Waterloo.

During a social party one young thing proudly announced that she was getting married to an NRI, who was on a short leave in India and showed his photograph to the hostess. “How is it?  He is marrying me five days from today….”  conveyed the hostess.  Becoming suspicious, the hostess laid a trap for him.  “Where are you living Mister Suresh?” she asked of him on his contact number.  He gave the address of a hotel.  On checking back, there was no one there by that name. On further probe, they discovered that he was a  part time clerk from a nearby city.

The police nabbed him and took him to court on a case of cheating.  He along  with his paramour got 8 years in jail.

And now comes a similar case but this time the villain is a  woman.

One Manimegala from Pollachi,South India, joined a computer centre, run by a differently abled man. Manimegala made him fall in love with her and  after a few weeks she indicated to him obliquely that she was interested in marrying a differently abled man and give him a comfortable home life.  Rathinakumar fell for her sweet talk and proposed to her.

Even before the marriage Manimegala had  tranferred  his 10 cents land in her two brother’s names.

After the marriage in November 2011, she continued to extract money and valuables  from Rathinakumar and left him one fine morning.

Perplexed at the turn of events, Rathinakumar begged her to come back to him. Strangely, the family members of the girl threatened to finish him off.

Following this development, Rathinakumar lodged a  police complaint.  Preliminary investigations revealed that   Manimegala had conned several men in  this manner.  Her first marriage was with one Sathish Kumar from Tirupur some years back.  He was dumped in due course after she had robbed him of valuables and money. It’s not known how many more men she married and threw out  before she set her eyes upon the poor  computer centre owner.

The police are now collecting more information to find out how many husbands she had  lured and deceived.

The Female to Male Ratio

It is the Creator God who decides on the sex of the baby being formed in a mother’s womb. The parents have no control over it at all. And God maintains a perfect balance between female foetus and male foetus.  It is always on 1 to 1 basis.  He does not  allow any imbalance in their numbers.

It is God’s plan that the earthlings should not  live alone but live as a pair.  In other words, every human being must get married. That’s why He produced Eve and gave her to Adam.  Adam never asked for a companion.  He didn’t even know anything about a woman and what she would look like.  When God presented a beautiful creature before him, he became curious and started comparing his features with Eve’s.  She became his wife straightway in the garden of Eden.

But, we hear that in some  countries the female to male ratio is terribly one sided. For instance in China there are only 858 females for every 1000 males and in India 914: 1000.  Who was responsible for this imbalance? The people. In Indian villages, a female baby is put to death immediately on birth.  Some village panchayats have laid down  such a diktat. Their reason   is:  Only a male child would perpetuate the family’s name and help it multiply. A girl child would migrate to some other family after marriage for good!

The  thinking in China too is similar. So, they  resort to female infanticide.  Since one can verify the sex of an unborn child,  it is easy to destroy a female foetus right in the womb. The problem became more serious from 1980 when China had  decreed the  one child norm. “The only child must be a male child,” the parents say.

And so we see the demographic  mismatch in these two countries.

Arranged marriage seems to be the norm in China just as it is in India.  Love marriage is also in vogue in India but is getting less and less popular. In such a scenario, how do marriages materialise?

In China it is usually  the woman who picks out her husband. Men being  greater  in number, every young man would keep his fingers crossed hoping that some girl would show a selecting finger at him. Women in general are well educated in China  and naturally they would want a man of good qualifications.

A similar situation will come about in India too.  Instead of  ‘bride seeing’  it is going to be  ‘groom seeing’ henceforth. How will a girl choose her husband in the seeing function?  By the looks or qualification or family status or the Man’s financial status?  It’s possible that software engineers or other engineers may cross examine the  young man and harass him with questions like in a job interview.   The  SW engineer knows exactly what she wants and she would not settle for anyone less  than a post graduate engineer  who had secured his degree fromUSA.   For others, the consideration may be financial security and so a Man’s income and earning capacity would matter a lot.

‘Not so good looking’ girls also will stand a very good chance. A Man who has been rejected by several girls may opt for this specimen.  What matters in the circumstances is, a  woman’s physique and a healthy body and  shape   and her looks wouldn’t count much at all.

In such a situation, some men would have to remain single and die as bachelors while all the  young women  would stand married, happily married.  It’s highly  possible that there may be no divorce at all.  That would be an extraordinary India  then indeed!

Wives indeed deserve a day of honour, don’t they?

Wives indeed deserve a day of  honour , don’t they?

Yes, why not?

Don’t we observe as of now all kinds of days – Valentine’s day, Children’s day, Teachers’ day, Mother’s day, Father’s day.  Why is ‘wife’ missing from the  above list? What has she done  to  be deprived of this honour?  She is a mother all right but her primary role as wife should not be forgotten. It would appear that the world has indeed forgotten her.

Till recent time, one  officer  by the name  S. Narayanan, the  Administrative officer of a Marriage Hall in Chennai,India used to celebrate what could be called “Couples’ day”.  He hired a marriage hall and   invited all the married couple to gather there for some fun and frolic.   Men of different age groups and from all walks of life dressed like grooms along with their  proud spouse  came to this particular hall for the ceremony.  Some grooms were in their 70’s and their wives  appeared  as coy  as they were on their wedding day years ago. This was done on 30 August.  In the year 2008, nearly  1008  couples  attended the ceremony  and the practice seems to have died down in the last two years or so.  Why, I  wonder?

True, a wife’s day could be commemorated inside one’s own home also but a public show has its own charm. Several people get to see you.  You become a  cynosure of all eyes and a role model for youngsters.  Your own children will go ga ga adoring and blessing you with gifts and kisses.  Won’t that be a grand nostalgia?

Many Indians celebrate the sixtieth year  wedding day. On attaining the age of 60 by the father, the children would get their parents married  for the second time at a home ceremony.  In the Indian language it is called ‘Sashtiaboorthi’. This is a great occasion, isn’t it?  The children conducting  the wedding  ceremony and  making their parents recollect  their good old wedding day years back !  So, why not observe a “Wife’s day” to honour the mother?

An Indian  wife,  is a real Home maker in the literal sense.  She shoulders the entire burden of the family while letting her  husband  have a  life free of any worries.  She is truly a God given gift to a man and this annual function would reflect the men folk’s  gratitude for her.

90% of the Indian wives are absolute home makers.  Their sole  job is to administer the home, bear children and rear them up  and  also be a companion to her husband. They do accept  that the  husband is the head of the house and she is his assistant.

The other 10% happen to be working women – full working women bringing in a pay packet sometime  larger than the husband’s. The latest trend shows that the Divorce rate is high  in the homes of working women who seem to have developed an ego that they are no less in competence and status and could command a voice in the home running possibly not admitting that the husband is the head.  This is the starting point of domestic disharmony and invariably leads to the break up of the marriage.  I wonder if in such homes, the husband would  ever be willing to observe the Wife’s day and thank the lady for all her devotion to him !

I suggest 30 December   be celebrated as “Wife’s day” the world over henceforth.  I don’t think even the Western nations have reserved a day in  honour of the wife.  Isn’t it high time they did it? Accordingly, will everyone kindly gear up for 30 December this year?

While it may not be necessary to gather at a  particular place in large numbers, the day could be observed and rejoiced at  inside every home where the wife cum mother is honoured  profusely by the husband and treated with gifts and tributes.  It’s my wish that 30 December be accepted as the “Wife’s day” the world over and the Lady of the Home be showered  with  love and respect.

In some social clubs, they observe a day called “Husband’s night” whereof it is the wives who would be at the service of men including serving drinks and taking the hubby for a dance and so on ..  A very good notion of applauding the husbands.  But then, why don’t we have “Wives night” in these clubs. My friend rebukes me and tells , “Don’t be stupid, man.  Don’t we look after the ladies well and ensure they are comfortable during all  the club evenings?”  True.  Come to think of it, every club evening is a “Wife’s night”.

But, a “Wife’s day” is  much more significant.  It’s an annual  day of thanksgiving by the husband  and  by the husband alone unlike  “Mother’s day” when she is venerated by both the husband and children.

 

——-

 

True – Lies!

At last she was able to select a gift after an hour of startling window shopping. However she was not sure whether he will like it or not.  With fluttering butterflies in her stomach, she went to the park, where finally they were destined to meet after 3 long years.

She got married to Abhi couple of years back. Not that she was head over heels about that, yet her life maintained status quo until one day Karan came back. Karan was her boyfriend for a decent period during her pink age but due to family constraints they were compelled to become travelers of two paths diverged. It was extremely difficult for her, Jiya, to forget Karan, thanks to those wonderfully passionate and intimate moments they shared during the purple patch of their relationship. Within a year’s time Jiya had to prepare herself to tie the knot with the “most eligible one” chosen and approved by her parents, who wanted her to settle down.

Jiya with time compromised with the situation and slowly became involved in her life post marriage. Abhi, her husband proved to be a really caring and loving man. However Jiya could never love him as she did love Karan. Yet the life was smooth; her home, a caring husband in Abhi and her office became her life. One day, a friend from Jiya’s office wanted her to take a peek at  her would be husband as she took out a photo from her purse and handed it over to Jiya. She cared for a glimpse and instantly froze dumbstruck recognizing the person in the photo. Needless to mention, it was Karan. Her life took a U turn when she and Karan came across each other in the birthday party of their common connection. From then Karan and Jiya stayed connected through mails, late night chats and calls. Jiya noticed that her suppressed emotions, feelings were oozing with passion. She again started to build castles in the air and the same feeling of floating on to cloud nine resumed. One day Karan asked her out, “Let’s meet sweets!”  She was excited to hear the word sweets, her pet name given by Karan when they first time acknowledged their affair. Jiya was very excited and gleefully accepted the proposal; since then she started to paint the city in the color of her passion.

Karan came to the park after almost an hour past the scheduled meeting time. Jiya had a long day at office, and then she went shopping to pick the best gift for him. Even though she was exhausted, she waited for him to come, deeply lost into her past;  images came flashing into her mind one after the other; each one equally romantic and passionate. It was getting late but she hardly minded as she was in no hurry to return home. She desperately wanted to be with Karan as long as possible, even for the entire night as Abhi was not in town. She was still engulfed into her adventurous thoughts, virtually feeling Karan’s presence; his touch and kisses all over like he used to do. “Indeed he was the king of good times,” Jiya thought and chuckled in her mind. Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned back and it was Karan.

Karan said, “Hey sweets; I got stuck in an urgent official work!” Jiya shrugged and gave an expression to suggest that it was fine. They exchanged a quick hug and then they both walked  inside the park in quest of an isolated place and sat side by side when they found one. It was getting dark to darker and Jiya was in anticipation that something might happen soon. Suddenly Karan wrapped his left arm around her shoulder and lifted her chin with his right hand and lowered his face. They were almost within kissing distance when Jiya closed her eyes, her cerise lips trembling in fervor urging to get locked by his lips. Moments passed nothing happened; Jiya opened her eyes and saw Karan staring at her. “Still mesmerized by my beauty,” Jiya thought looking at Karan and broke into a sweet mirth. “Hey, what are you looking at, so intensely?”asked Jiya. Karan did not answer but to her surprise came up with the most unexpected query, “Hey what you like about Abhi?”

Jiya was hit by a bulldozer. She did not know how to react to this. However she recovered her composure and promptly came up with the truthful answer. “Abhi is a very handsome and very good by heart,” she commented. “I am not claiming that he is a poster boy of any sorts but he indeed has a pleasing personality; everyone around him is very fond of him thanks to his versatile talents and extraordinary IQ. He has done a lot for me and genuinely loves me.” Karan did not show any reaction and swayed away from her. Jiya was wondering what will happen next when Karan suddenly commented, “Sweets you have lost your charm. You looked far more ravishing before marriage, when I was charming you.” Jiya was utterly confused upon hearing that and thought how someone’s look can change so drastically with time! She still had the same eyes, same nose, same face and the same crimson lips. One can either lose or gain weight and that can only make the difference, if at all. In Jiya’s case even that was not true as she was still equally appealing, which she knew by seeing the love in Abhi’s eyes and lust in the eyes of quite a few others.

Jiya said to Karan that she had bought a gift for him to celebrate their reunion after 3 long years. Karan however surprised her by saying that he cannot take it. He further clarified that he was in no mood to complicate things by doing this. Jiya was visibly upset but it seemed nothing bothered Karan. After a few minutes however Karan suddenly asked Jiya to show the gift to him. Jiya sighed in relief and thought finally things might turn her way and handed over the packet to him. Karan opened the gift wrap and found a branded watch in there. He took time to examine it very minutely and then handed it back to Jiya and said, “I told you sweets I simply cannot take it. Maybe you should give it to any of your cousins!” Jiya was completely shattered and felt a valiant slap of insult on her face. She stood up to leave and said, “I guess this relation will not work out,so lets stop being in touch!” Jiya was astonished to spot Karan’s indifference and his passive agreement to the proposal even without protest. Jiya walked out of the park and she threw  Karan out from her life as she headed home, confused, rattled and with a bleeding heart.

That night her eyes poured and she did not even attempt to cease the flow of tears down her cheek. She felt remorse for wasting couple of months for Karan, who never seemed to have any feeling left for her. She felt terrible for being unfaithful to Abhi, the person for whom Jiya was the world. She became depressed acknowledging that she was running behind a glittering image of lie at the expense of the eternal truth.

Next day when Abhi was back home, Jiya went up to him and hugged him tight and whispered in his ears, “I am sorry honey, I am all yours; I love you Abhi, you are the best part of me”. Abhi still in her embrace felt that she was sobbing. He kissed on her forehead and asked, “Hey what happened all of a sudden?” Jiya did not reply but provided an enigmatic smile almost saying, “How does it matter?” She came closer to him and stood on his toes. Instantly their lips locked and it remained locked for quite a while … may be till eternity!

This unending pain- A Poem

“This unending pain,

Is taking my breath away,

I loved all,

I swear.


My silence is echoing in my heart,

This pain will forever last.


They have put a full stop on my feelings,

I am now left with day dreaming.


I am not what I used to be,

And this blame is also put on me.


This fatigue is taking my life away,

I am still worried for him,

Without me,

He will not be able to stay.


My efforts are a time waste,

And my life has lost its taste.


This unending pain,

Is taking my breath away,

I loved all,

I swear.”


MARRIAGE- a beautiful challenge

Bondage is never considered good but some bonds are sweet and the one is wedding. Marriage is such a beautiful and lovely thing that can happen to somebody. Yes, I do agree our life changes completely after that. Guys say we miss our tension free bachelorhood and girls say we get caught in family and lose our identity. But this is not completely true and it depends on each ones perception. Think on what it gives us. Everything has its own pros and cons, so do this relation. Why not be positive and think about pros of this relation and try to change the cons into pros too? We feel loved and needed. Our life gets a meaning and we love to live for somebody. Feeling of love can come in living relationship too but wedding carries respect with it. A person becomes more responsible, mature and emotionally strong. Not that a person who is single is not so but marriage bring such challenges with it that we explore a new person in us. We should also enjoy the sweet pain it gives. God has made everything; every person and every relation with a purpose so let’s enjoy it, let’s play all the roles he has designed for us. Why should we divest our self from a beautiful relation as this?

Every one is aware that wedding gives attachment not to only one person but several others who are attached to him. The day we accept them as our own family, everything turns trouble-free. Feel them as your own mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, aunty etc. remove the suffix ‘in-laws’, same thing holds true for the family also, confiscate the word ‘in-law’ from daughter-in-law and then all izz well. Complaints may be from one side, either the girl may say they don’t treat me as their daughter or the family may feel she doesn’t acknowledge us as her own family but bear in mind patience do pay. It may sound philosophical yet some philosophies when applied in life become true. Keep giving your love, concern, warmth and respect and the red carpet day will come when the opposite person will become conscious and return back to you all you have given with interest. We can value bliss only when we face sorrow, trouble, so be ready to face one of the challenges of life, that’s wedding.

When we buy new dress or mobile or anything, aren’t we happy and excited? Then when something new happens in our life why not be cheerful and keyed up in same way. The way we take care of our new purchases is up to us, same way the way we take care of our new life and relation is up to our intelligence. Sounds very simple. Isn’t?

So those who want to stay single believe me there’s no fun in staying single. It’s just a pretext to stay away from one of the challenges of life. If you want to live every part of life and if you are intrepid enough to face more of emotional challenges then go for it, tie the knot and share your life, not only with your life partner but all those who reside in your partner’s heart and feel a new person in you. Feel the happiness, contentment and stability it gives in life.

MAKE A MOVE- ENJOY- ROCK IT DEAR.

Come on, Everything is not possible!

Raindrops were caressing her face and were giving her the ultimate happiness and pleasure, as Jiya drove past one more hairpin bend. It was drizzling and she enjoyed every single drop touching her body. Jiya was driving her scooty and Vicky was sitting behind her and was enjoying the strands of Jiya’s silky hair, playing with his face.

Jiya and Vicky had a brief courtship and about 2 weeks back they finally tied the knot. They were residing in Mumbai and were off to Khandala for their honeymoon. They had just entered the ghat road when all of a sudden to their pleasure it started to drizzle. Jiya loved driving her scooty and she continued to drive through the ghat roads as the drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. They were all wet and looked out for a shelter, but it was hard to find one on the expressway. Jiya slowed down and both of them looked here and there in quest for a shelter and at the following hairpin bend, Jiya missed to spot of a speeding Xylo heading from the opposite direction; within seconds, the Xylo rammed the scooty head on.

Jiya came back to her senses after 10 days and found herself in the hospital bed with tubes connected all over her body. Jiya’s mom was standing beside her with teary eyes. Jiya asked her mom, “Mom? Why am I here? What has happened to me?”Her mom said, “Hail the almighty! You have recognized me Jiya!”

“Am I not supposed to remember you?” Jia asked in a tired tone.

“You had a severe head injury as you met with an accident on the way to Khandala, dear,” cried her mom. “The doctor was not sure if you will remember anyone of us at all! It is only God’s grace that you survived even after such a severe accident and that too on your honeymoon trip!”

“Honeymoon? Mine? What rubbish! When the hell did I get married?” Jiya asked in a confused tone. Her mother gave a flabbergasted look, within moments her eyes were moist, and she broke down into tears.

It was almost 2 weeks; Jiya was still on the hospital bed but to Jiya’s mom astonishment Jiya never asked her about Vicky. After a week, Jiya was transferred to a cabin. Jiya’s mom was on a call and was standing by the window in Jiya’s cabin, when a tall, fair, and handsome guy entered the cabin with an arm sling around his neck. He came up to Jiya and asked, “How are you feeling now?”

Jiya looked at him blankly and in the meantime, Jiya’s mom was back. She slowly said, “Who is this Jiya? Can’t you recognise him? He is Vicky, your husband!”

Vicky took his mother-in-law in the corner and said, “Mom, I just had a talk with the doctors, they said Jiya was badly hurt in her head and as a result she has gone into a state of anterograde amnesia; but doctor said within a year or so hopefully she will be fine,” he concluded with moist eyes.

“What does than mean, beta?” asked the anxious mom.

“Well whatever I understood from their conversation, it means that she is suffering from short term memory loss and all happenings that occurred during the last year or so in her life have completely got erased.”

Jiya’s mom felt almost hysteric; with immense effort she tried to control herself and spoke, “How are you now beta?”

Vicky replied, “Mom I am fine now. I just broke my hand in the accident. I flew off during the impact and fell on a big block of stone. The doctors have plastered it and asked me to take rest as much as possible and since you are here with Jiya, I usually come in the evenings to see her and take updates from doctors,” he paused. “Jiya was the prime victim. She was very badly injured. After the accident when I was back to my senses and found my face was covered with blood but Jiya was not responding to anything. People there had already called for an ambulance and we both came here immediately after it arrived.”

Everyday evening Vicky came to Jiya with a hope that she will recognise him but that never happened. Everyday whenever he entered Jiya’s cabin, she blankly looked at him. A couple of week later doctor said to Vicky, “look we tried our level best; everything is not possible to get back in your life, once lost. Surely, you people are blessed ones, so you are still alive after such a fatal accident. You can take Jiya home, but without fail continue the medicines. If you notice any degradation or progress, please do inform me, and bring her for a check-up.”

Vicky assumed that once Jiya comes home, seeing all know things, she might get back the memory. However, there was no change after Jiya came back to her house. She used to stay quiet and most of the time she would stand by the window and looked out. Vicky used to show her their pictures together, even the marriage DVD but there was no change. Vicky took her to the restaurant she liked, bought her the things she liked but all in vain. They occupied separate rooms even as she refused to believe that she was married to him.

One night it was raining heavily, in the midnight, Jiya woke up after hearing a blistering noise of thunder. She got down from her bed, walked to the window, and looked outside. Meanwhile, Vicky came to Jiya’s room to check if everything was fine or not; his eyes soon caught Jiya by the window; he stared at her and he was nostalgic.

Memories started to flow – how they enjoyed each other’s company when they were in during their courtship. They both loved to have golgappa at the chowpatty and then a hot cup of tea from Ramu mama’s shack on the beach. He recalled how much Jiya loved walking in the rain and always forced him to walk with her.

Jiya by then turned and walked up to the bed, Vicky was back to his senses, and he closed the door and went back to his room. The next day Vicky left for an important official trip to Chennai for a month so he asked his mother-in-law to be with Jiya.

The month just flew by; it was time for Vicky’s return. He was optimistic that this time Jiya would recognise him for sure and welcome him back with a warm hug. When he rang the bell of his house it was his mother-in-law who opened the door. Vicky entered and saw Jiya was sitting on the sofa with a newspaper in her hand but staring at him. Vicky anticipated a miracle but she didn’t show any reaction, took her eyes off him.Vicky understood, and slowly went to his room. Soon his mother-in-law came to his room and said, “Vicky can you take Jiya to the doctor this evening? A month has passed but she is showing no improvement”. He took her to the doctor that evening and after a MRI scan, the doctor said, “Vicky, the blood clots are still there and hence not of much improvement. Hopefully it will slowly get dissolved but may take another couple of years!”

Since then five more years had passed by; everything still remains the same. Every morning Vicky wakes up with the hope that the sunshine of the new dawn will drive away the gloomy darkness of their life. He still prays looking at her blank eyes that they shall overcome the toughest test of their lives some day, when he dreams of the eon of their togetherness and the opportunity for a fresh start to a life personified for both of them; rediscover their togetherness all over again.

No Strings Attached!

“I really repent our breakup. I don’t know why did I leave you there and came to the US? I could have married you and brought you here with me,” Avik paused after saying this. Ria promptly replied, “Now what’s the use saying all this? It a past story,” Ria sighed and asked Avik, “How is your daughter and wife?” Avik changed the topic and said it was so great when we both were together. Ria replied, “Avik I need to get ready and go to my MBA class. I am logging off. Catch you later!”

It was almost after 7 years since Avik and Ria met again through Facebook. 7 years back they met, when Ria went for a vacation with her parents to Vizag and there she met Avik. It was on the sea beach where they bumped into each other and after a mutual apology and a small introduction, they both knew they were from the same city, Bangalore and was there on a vacation. Avik was pursuing his masters in economics and Ria was much younger to him, was in the twelfth grade. After that everyday Ria with her parents and Avik with his friends went to the beach almost at the same time, so they met, chatted and the day before Ria was leaving Vizag, Avik asked for her contact number and promised to be in touch.

Ria was back home and was busy with her studies and tuition. After almost a month since her vacation, one day there was a call for her. Ria received the call as both of her parents were working, she would always be alone at home during the day. A guy spoke from the other end, “Can I speak to Ria?” Ria said that she was speaking then the guy asked, “Do you remember me?” Ria was little confused but somewhere she always thought Avik will call someday. She had a  doubt but still she made a wild guess and said, “Is it Avik?” Avik was very surprised seeing that Ria recognised him. They chatted for an hour Ria hanged up but soon it became a routine and everyday they chatted for hours during the noon as it was convenient for Ria, she would be alone in the house. Meanwhile Avik completed his masters and was planning to pursue his PHD in the US. He started applying online in different universities in the US. Meanwhile Ria and Avik became very close and started dating each other.  Ria said about Avik to her friends and sometimes she would even call Avik from their cell phones. But after sometime Ria soon noticed Avik started avoiding her, she thought since it was her class 12, he was giving her time to study. Ria finished her exam but Avik was still behaving in the same way and his calls also decreased. Avik was Ria’s first love so she dint want to lose him. She tried every possible way to know why his behaviour had changed within few days time but all attempt was in vain.

One day during noon when Ria was having her lunch there was a call; she ran to receive the call thinking it must be Avik. She took up the receiver and said, “Hey Avik, I knew you would call me today..,” there was a long pause on the other end of the receiver. Finally a guy spoke, but it was not Avik’s voice. He said, “This is Avik’s friend. He had asked me to inform you that he has left for US and left a letter with me for you. When can I come and give you the letter?” Ria was dumbstruck after hearing that Avik left for the US but dint even bother to inform her. She said, “Come anytime but be quick. Let me see what he wants me to know”

The letter was in Ria’s hand after 2 more days. She read the same letter for more than 6 times and sat depressed with the letter in her hand and started to think how did all this happen? In the letter it was written,

“Ria I liked you from the very first day we bumped into each other in the sea beach. Soon with time we came close and our friendship turned into an affair. I trusted you and had a great respect for you. But one evening their was a call from your friend, basically she was my well wisher and told me about your multiple affairs which ran in parallel with our affair. She also mentioned that you are basically a flirt and play with every boys emotion. I guess I am lucky that she informed me before hand. I was very hurt Ria. But now my focus is on my PHD, so I’m better now. I thought that I must inform you why I am behaving like this and leaving for US all of a sudden.”

Ria suddenly remembered she used to call Avik from Sonam’s cell, so she is the only person who had Avik’s number. So she was the one who called Avik. She always was behind Ria, envied her good background, her looks and also her academic result. Ria couldn’t stop her tears. She cried and cried. Avik was her first love and losing him just for a misunderstanding was a very big blow for her. She was very angry with Sonam and thought soon she will meet her and teach her good lesson. Ria started to stay depressed and everyday she cried and cried. Days passed, month passed she took admission in an engineering college. Later she thought what’s the use teaching Sonam a lesson, Avik didn’t even verify all this with her, he just believed Sonam and ditched her.

Now they met again in Facebook, Avik is married with a kid and Ria is studying MBA, and soon she will join the IT hub. Avik would very frequently say her that it was his mistake, he would have at least asked her once. Then life would have been different now. But it’s a different story at Ria’s end. Its already been 7 years, and Ria is much matured now. Its true, time is the best healer, Ria is totally out of it; no strings are attached.

One day again Avik was online, she said Avik directly, “Avik now I chat with you only as a friend. There is nothing else in my mind. I have moved on – no more strings are attached to you. Since you still have a feeling for me, I guess we must stop chatting and be happy in our own world.” Ria didn’t even wait for an answer, she went to the friend list in her Facebook account and removed Avik from her friend list.

Emotion, Obsession and the Unreal world

Jiya was happily married to Avik and it was Avik’s occupation in Bangalore, which kept them far away from their hometown. It was almost three years they were in the IT hub of India and Jiya soon adjusted with the pace of the city and it’s inhabitants. Avik had rented a flat off the old airport road, near his office. Everything was running smoothly until Shiv came into Jiya’s life.

Shiv, a Punjabi guy; burly, tall and handsome. He was in the same apartment where Jiya used to stay and so they often bumped into each other either in the staircase or in the car park. Jiya only knew Shiv by his face and nothing else was happening until one day, when Jiya went for shopping and bought lots of dresses and accessories. She drove back home but she faced the hardship in carrying those loads of bags from the car to her flat. At one point two of her bags slipped her grip and with great difficulty, she managed to pick them up. Later when she was near the staircase, she tumbled down on the ground with all her bags skipping her step. Meanwhile Shiv was galloping down the staircase, when he saw Jiya on the ground; he went running to help her. He helped her to get back on her feet, carried all her bags, and helped her until she was comfortable inside her flat. After that, whenever they meet they started to spend some time in each others company, chatting on various topics. When Shiv learnt that Jiya was a Bengali girl, he requested her to send him some fish curry when she would cook it.

Jiya had a cook still she took the pain to prepare fish curry for Shiv and went upstairs to hand over the dish to him. He was a bachelor and lived with two other flatmates. It was Shiv only who opened the door after Jiya rang the bell for the third time. Shiv was surprised to see Jiya there. Jiya heard voices of girls from his room and asked Shiv, “Who are the girls chatting inside your room? Are they your girlfriends?” she winked.

“No Jiya, they are not my girlfriends, they are the friends of my flatmates,” Shiv replied. “I don’t have any girlfriend, Jiya, I am just waiting for the best match,” he smiled. Jiya handed him the fish curry and said “You asked me to prepare fish curry for you; here it is. Taste it and let me know how it is”

They didn’t meet again for next 5 days. Jiya was very anxious to know whether he liked her recipe or not. It was almost 6 months, since they started talking and chatting and slowly Jiya developed a soft corner for him. Every time they met, Shiv would always say, “Jiya why are you already married? Or else I would have definitely married you. I am  searching for a trendy, good looking and someone with a big heart, just like you.” “Do you have a sister who looks like you? Then surely I will marry her,” he added.

She waited eagerly everyday at the car park hoping to meet Shiv and to know how the fish curry tasted. Finally, on the sixth day when Jiya was going to the market she saw him on his bike and a girl was behind him. He didn’t even look at her. She thought he must have failed to notice her. Later in the day, when they met on the staircase Jiya asked Shiv who she was and promptly Shiv replied she was his cousin!

Jiya believed him and started living in the unreal world where she and Shiv was always together. She was missing him and she called Shiv in the morning and asked him to meet her but he said he was busy and cannot meet her that day. Later that evening when she was coming back from gym she spotted Shiv’s bike in the parking. She was delighted seeing that and she thought Shiv must be in his room. She went upstairs and rang the doorbell no less than five times before he opened the door. He looked exhausted and he was surprised to see her there. He promptly said that he was busy completing a presentation for his office, but at that very moment a girl came out of his bedroom; she too looked equally exhausted. Jiya noticed her carefully and found that she is not even properly dressed. Jiya understood how busy Shiv was and she made a retreat immediately without saying a word. She came back to her repose and cried a lot. She asked herself why did she get into such things afterall.  Avik had no fault and they were happily married then why she got lost in an unreal enjoyment in a world of utopia. She never found an answer but by then she realized that her real world was much enjoyable than the unreal world!

Again it’s Valentine’s day – love never fades!

Valentine’s day was coming and Jiya was excited as last year it was a great surprise from Vicky. Vicky started sending her little gifts from 7th Feb… Which ended with a mega surprise on 14th Feb. Jiya went to the almirah and took out the album where she kept last year’s valentine day pictures carefully.

She sat on a couch and got comfortable and then slowly she turned the cover and opened the album. It was the picture of the gift that Vicky send on 7th Feb.. It was a bunch of red roses on the rose day. Jiya smiled remembering that moment when she received it and couldn’t stop smiling. She carefully managed to turn the page to the next picture…8th Feb, the day he proposed. This time the gift was a diamond ring, which she still had in her finger. She could not stop her tears thinking how it felt when Vicky slipped the diamond ring into her finger…and how Vicky on his knees asked “Will you marry me angel?” She hugged him promptly and nodded to say yes. Soon after, they got married. Jiya smiled to herself thinking it was the best thing that happened in her life that she got Vicky as her hubby as the best part of her.

9th Feb was the chocolate day; as she turned the next page and found pics of those lovely liquor chocolates those, she loved. Then the next picture was of two cute teddies hugging each other, seeing that she remembered 10th Feb was the teddy day. As she turned the next page, a card fell in her lap. 10th Feb was the ‘promise day’ and Vicky gave her a card which said he will be always with her; love her and he will always guard her from all the problems. When she saw the next pic, she could not stop smiling – it was hug day on 11th Feb. The picture showed they both of them were hugging each other and seeing Jiya’s face in the picture anyone one can say how much secured she was feeling in Vicky’s arms. Then the next pic was on the beach where they both were kissing each other passionately. The picture was taken on 13th feb and it was the KISS day! Jiya smiled and turned the next page, it was the picture of both of them enjoying dinner in the beach, which was organised by the Taj for valentine couples and they are having a great time together. She closed the album and thought she had a great time last valentine’s day and since the following day was 7th Feb, she thought Vicky would start giving her surprises again!

Next morning Vicky left for office. Jiya ran to open the door whenever the door bell rang. But she was disappointed every time as she opened the door. She was expecting the delivery boy with bunch of red roses but came out to be either the dhobi or the milkman or the maid. Later in the evening she thought may be Vicky will give her a bunch of red roses by himself. She waited for him to return from office…but to her surprise when he came, he was not carrying anything . That day during dinner, Vicky didn’t say anything related to the day. Jiya thought he must have forgotten but was optimistic that he will surely remember it from the following day.

Next day was ‘promise day’ and Jiya waited for Vicky to return from office expecting there will be some surprise but it was same like the previous day. Vicky didn’t even utter anything about valentines day. Jiya thought last year they were not married and so Vicky showered gifts and surprises but since this year, they are married, she thought Vicky must have lost all the interest in her and did not love her like before. 4-5 days passed by and there were nothing from Vicky and Jiya couldn’t stop her tears and was convinced that Vicky didn’t love her anymore.

The doorbell rang in the morning just few minutes after Vicky had left for office. Jiya opened the door casually expecting the maid at the door but this time it was the delivery boy with a big bunch of red roses. Jiya smiled and received it. She was happy thinking at least Vicky remembered that it was 14th Feb. In the evening Jiya thought of making a chocolate cake for Vicky and as she was going to the kitchen, the doorbell rang again. She went to open the door, and found another delivery boy with a parcel. She received that one too and opened to find a chocolate cake inside it and a small note accompanying. It read – “Angel, you thought I forgot Valentine’s Day! How could I? I proposed you last year during this valentine day week and we were married soon. You know what? I am the luckiest person on the earth to have you with me. Love u baby!”

Jiya was very happy reading it repeatedly. She made scrumptious dinner and as that was ready the doorbell again rang. She thought it was too early for Vicky to be back, so may be it is another delivery boy. She opened the door and stood there spellbound. It was Vicky carrying a gift hamper. Vicky came inside and started showing his angel all that he had for her; there was a big bottle of Champagne, and a small red box. Jiya opened it and found a lovely pair of diamond earrings. Finally, he handed over two tickets to Jiya. She came to know that they were flying to New Zealand that night itself. She hugged him passionately and by then Vicky was ready with two glasses of Champagne. They raised the toast and said aloud “cheers to our togetherness!

Jiya went inside and decorated the dinning table with few candles before Vicky came. She served the finger licking dinner as their music system played soft romantic numbers one after the other.Vicky was spellbound to see the candles,it felt like stars twinkling in that dark room. The ambiance was so romantic, so perfect. After dinner, Jiya and Vicky packed their bags in a hurry and left for their 2nd honeymoon!

Talking about relationship….?

Someone has written that Men don’t show that much of affection to their spouse after marriage as they did during courting days.

You must remember, before marriage, your lover boy  met you   for a short  while only  and that too quite occasionally. Naturally,   the man  would  pour out all his affections not only in full measure but also  at top speed during the available  brief time..

In my own case, after our engagement  I met my future wife only thrice over a period of 5 ½ years and  for never more than a week at a time..

Whereas,  after you are married you spend your entire week, 7 x 24  with him and around  eight to twelve hours exclusively  every day. Isn’t  sitting close to each other  or holding hands while watching T.V  for a couple of hours, a display of fondness?  Or for that matter, going for a walk for some half hour?

Even if a husband keeps to himself most of the time while in the house, doesn’t mean that he loves his wife any less.  Some office pressure or some other problems weighing on his mind,  could  prevent him from showing his love to you outwardly.

Some wives may  want to hear that marvelous phrase, “I love you,”  “I love you ..”  pronounced into her ears  possibly a dozen times in a day.  A few men would broadcast these words every time they end a telephone conversation.  But this happens to be  a Western model.   And an Indian wife may  even sneer at it.

Whereas  an Indian wife’s preference  would  be  a kind of physical intimacy like a hug, a squeeze or  a  pinch or a kiss  as often as possible in a day. In my opinion, this brand certainly would satisfy her  yearning  much more than mere  words.

Which husband doesn’t do these  during the early part of his married life before the first child arrives.  Doesn’t he show extraordinary concern, care and  warmth  when you are pregnant much much more than what he did  before the pregnancy?  Oh what fuss he would make when you go through your morning sickness.  That’s the time any  wife would reflect in her mind, “Thank God, I am pregnant.  See how mad  he is at me….?”   Is there any husband who would ignore her  and walk out when the wife is  in this sickness syndrome?

So, my sisters don’t  accuse us of negligence.  It’s never the case.  We men think about our better half  almost every minute even when we are at work.  There is no husband who doesn’t ring up his wife two  or three times in a day from his work place unless he happens to be attending some meetings one after the other?

Now, can I expect one of the dear sisters to write an article on  how they view their husband before and  after marriage and prior to the arrival of the third member in  the family?  Thank you.

Love – an illusion!

It was dowdy everywhere, people were jostled, confused, heckled. The bleak noisy surrounding was exacerbated by the interventional hullabaloo of the negotiators. She was standing under a huge pillar of the 400 year old heritage building. The sun stared fiercely, she was dripping inside. He was happy, chatting with a friend, whom she did not know. He drank tea, inspected the mundane surrounding like an inspector who had come to settle yet another of his long pending assignments. He then walked up to the museum where the historic trials of the freedom fighters were being held during colonialism.

He came out with a complacent smile as if he was liberated of bulk of his earthly sins, the rest he would be by evening for sure. She was shocked to see him so carefree, so blithe, so indifferent, She did not want to use the term happy, it would shatter her. At about 2-30 in the afternoon, they were being called inside.

It was pretty much like the ones we see on TV. A dais where the chief sat, two wooden cubicles on both his sides, little lower was the most ordinary chairs arranged in most efficient alignment! About 100 black cloaked people had their respective chairs, behind were the settees for the commoners. They went and sat there. The chief, with a velvety black, supremo apparel, started amidst pin drop silence, one by one the black cloaked placed and argued their says. The attendant hollered 107: 2007 and two black-cloaked men walked up to the dais. She and he stood onto the left wooden cubicle.

After a few normal questionnaire, which, mostly, he answered with an eerie, untroubled heart. The man scribbled the testimonial and they were severed for life! It was that easy! She drooped down with a bleeding within, shuffled down the long stairs with heavy legs and finally managed to reach the car all alone.

She had never wanted this to happen, never in her life. It was a long, tiring, depressing, demoralising day. She was finally dissociated from her love, the love that she never had. It was an illusion!

Love is an illusion!

love of a man

Salt and pepper

sugar & spice

all for his delight

her hands in love

pinched tenderly

all for a dish, for his relish.

A man’s love is through

his mouth,

so she would feed him

all she can.

Love needs to be found

through the morsels from

his insides.

So she baked & cooked & fried

until she felt satisfied

& setting a table for two

she waited all night.

When the moon began to bid

goodbye

she heard footsteps outside

& burping all the while

She closed her eyes

It OK, for tomorrow  she would try

for the love of a man

is not in his heart…

Her last battle

The dawn never ceased to awe her. She raised the hot cup, caressing its rim with a tenderness that made her shiver.That’s how he left her feeling every time, with a cold shiver that’s exciting and annoying at the same time. Maybe, all the doors have been already closed.

Maybe, there is no point anymore in repentance and reminiscences. They did have good times and they had been through hell. A love story of so many years. They played hide & seek through  out their childhood. Youth threw them apart in its early years. And when she had received a call on that fateful afternoon, she never realized that she would mistake it for a hand of escape. It never was, she should have remained there, deep down, alone in her exile.

Demons, she carried them inside and loved them too. For they were her sole companions when everyone else had discarded her, when she had left. Life in a lonely city and then life with him.The sun seemed to draw nearer, its going to happen soon now. She caressed her tummy, in a few months the bulge would have been visible. In a few months, if she was still pregnant, still alive…

He loved her and she loved him back, but sometimes love can wreck lives. Her possessiveness threw them apart. She had no one, except him and so she clung. To the extend of  breaking the chord. And now,when she would have happily disclosed, he shut her up with a proposal of mutual divorce. So she watched the sun rise, with her baby. And a drop of poison in her steaming coffee. When he came behind her and kissed her, all she did was remain numb. When he showed her the pregnancy test papers, all smiles, she couldn’t blink. When her eyes closed, all that she could hear

were his sorry s and she died of having won the last battle, with her baby inside.

DIVORCE

The pain of undergoing a divorce for reasons that a girl is yet to understand fully and come to terms with.

The inevitable heart break aside, a large part of the pain and trauma that accompanies divorce is the result of the stigma associated with it, especially in our country where there is a reluctance to accept any breaks from traditional moulds. ” The minute you go against whatever is accepted norms of socety, there will be a stigma attached to it.

The onus of building a relationship is essentially on women while the traditional role of a man is that of a provider. So, society does not expect the man to work on maintaining the relationship while the women is the one who is expected to transform HOUSE in to HOME.

The role of communication in married life is most important . Two most important causes leading to divorce are the lack of or breakdown of communication between husband and wife and the adjustment phase that occurs between courtship  and settling down in to marriage. When we court, we are on our best behavior; we put on a best mask at that time. After the marriage, this mask comes off and suddenly the husband and wife have to go through a major phase of adjustment in the initial years. If conflicts that arise during this initial phase are not resolved, then a marriage is likely to end in divorce.

Who are more affected? Those couples in their 30’s are the worst sufferers, caught between traditional values on one side  and modern society on the other. While those in their 20’s are seeing divorce as a quick-fix solution on a relationship that is no longer workable, like a torn churidar or panty throw away and select a new one. The generation that will follow these two should have found a balance; divorce will have less stigma associated with it, but will not be seen as a solution.

ANYWAY DIVORCE MUST ALWAYS BE THE LAST OPTION AND SHOULD NOT ADVOCATE.

Arranged Marriage

He was very happy, he met her at a formal get together arranged by both the families and after coming back everybody in his family was very enthusiast in accepting her as their daughter in law. After all she was the first bahu in the family and bound to get the extra love n affection.

He was trying very hard to make her comfortable in a new environment which was supposed to arrive to her in next few months.

He even, started discussing her his deepest feelings for his family, for his friends and for her. In no way, he wanted to lose her now, despite increasing tensions between the families due to minor issues related to wedding.

She, on the other hand, had no idea that how he is trying his best in saving this relationship.

On that particular evening, he ringed her n discussed what he was trying to balance.

In next few moments, a call came to his family, and families’ ego reached at a point from where there was no turning back.

On one hand he has his family for whom he devoted his life, and other hand, he had his love whom he didn’t want to lose.

It took him quite a few days what he wanted in his life; it was just peace, even if it cost too many emotions.

He used to be a charming, energetic person by nature but this incident broke shattered him completely.

And then, one fine evening, his mailbox read,

“You are the worse person i have ever met, you don’t even deserve to become my friend, leave the life partner thing aside. This is supposed to be a last mail, if not it better be. You are a closed chapter now.”

What was that, a reward for being so trustful to a girl he doesn’t even know 2 months back?

The fishing net

Shantaram knew that his fishing net was his identity. It wasn’t merely his livelihood, but his raison de’etre. He was always focused, and immensely experienced. So be it a high tide or any temporary whirlwind; he knew he had to be there, right in the middle of that aggravating ocean, though he knew the dangers. On few earlier such occasions in past, when warnings were given to fishermen not to venture in the sea for fishing, he had turned a deaf ear.

After all he had responsibilities; a young daughter to be married off, that very year, as far as possible. So this says it all. But Lata, the daughter was not in any way illiterate or a burden; in fact she was in her last year of graduation. She too was an earning member; she taught part time in the neighborhood pre-primary school.  Lata used to convince him not to work any longer, or at least to take it little laid back, because she was planning to start working full time once her graduation results would come out. But Shantaram hardly listened, and used to shrug off his shoulders by replying” I’d never give up my fishing net”.

Saturday evening had proved to be a very important evening for Lata. An old time friend Arvind had proposed to her in marriage. He was a lower middle class young man, financially pretty much settled, self made fellow, much like her father, working since the past two years in a localized bank, and earning modestly. While proposing to Lata, Arvind made a mention to her, that he wouldn’t be accepting any dowry from her, and that he would be shouldering half of the wedding expenditure. The two families knew each other, but such an alliance had never brushed across their minds. So even Lata was taken by surprise when Arvind, suddenly out of the blue asked for her hand in marriage. Lata had no reason to refuse. But like any other girl would do, she didn’t immediately leap, but stalled her reply and promised to get back to him in a week’s time.

A week later, was a Sunday, and usually on Sundays, Shantaram took an off from work. Just a visit or two to the market, and he would be home. So Lata, who had by then made up her mind and had already decided to give a nod to Arvind, had planned to speak to Shantaram that evening. After heading back home from vegetable purchases later that evening, she asked her mother where her father had been, and when he’d return. She was restless, as today she was eager to talk to everyone at home about Arvind.

Her mom’s submissive reply told her that Shantaram had been away since morning. One of his long time associate and old time friend Ganesh told them that Shantaram had headed to the sea, hoping for some extra catch that day. The family learnt from Ganesh that very day itself that Shantaram had a substantial loan to repay, which he’d borrowed from some middlemen in the market. To add to his financial qualms, he was trying to save on regular basis for Lata’s wedding; because he knew that it would be quite a sum. Rightfully it was a tight rope that he was walking on. And so today, despite having got a “Do Not Venture in deep seas” warning, Shantaram had gone against the wish of the wind; his fishing net tucked in his arm.

And the worst finally happened. The thunderous sea took him in its arms….he went there that day, never to return; never to see his daughter becoming a bride.  It was all palpable. His confidence, his risks, his never say die attitude, his daring approach- all washed away in a thud! His earnestness to load up his financial kitty and save for Lata’s wedding did him no good. He would have been a slightly relieved father that evening, had Lata got an opportunity to talk to him about Arvind’s proposal, and his desire to bear half the wedding cost.  But Alas! What a manifest paradox life is! Shantaram and his identity- his robust fishing net, both washed away in the boisterous waves. He didn’t lose his identity till the end though; in fact he carried it with him to the doorstep of death. Till death do us apart, as they say.

All that was left ashore was a succumbed wife; a helpless daughter; but a dependable to be son-in-law….The rest was taken away by the stubborn waves….

Lost Love – A Poem

“I feel,

I have lost my love,

Laying beside him,

Still,

Not able to feel his love.

I feel,

I have lost my soul,

As,

I have lost him.

I feel it isn’t me anymore,

As,

Now, I make him bored.

I feel so lost in this world,

As everything starts with him,

And ends with him.

If he doesn’t love me anymore,

It feels,

As, I am sitting alone on a sea shore.

May be,

I am thought off as a fool,

Who can never remain cool.

May be,

Now, I have lost my love.”

My Best Friend

I met Jane after a few years, at her new home, Ashiana in Chennai. She is my best friend, always been so from 1968. I think it was our uncontrollable giggles in the classroom which made us friends. Still that is the only common thing in us.. We both can laugh so easily in spite of all ups and downs in life. We can laugh with the same innocence & fondness of the childhood when we are together.

This time I had something big to tell her..
“I write blogs”I told her. “What’s new in that? She was not surprised as I expected. You were always a good writer.”.
“Wait, I’ll show you something.” She said. I tried hard but couldn’t recollect any thing I did as to be remembered as a creative writer.
Then Jane brought a box full of torn papers.
Oh! God, she brought alive all those memories!

I studied in the best English medium school in the town. But I had been the worst student the school had ever seen. It may be because of my father’s constant requests, & my bright siblings who adorned good positions in their respective classes, I was promoted to upper classes.

They pushed me through till I reached 8th std, i.e. high school. The teachers might have changed my division on an experimental basis, & I found myself among a new batch of students. Though at first I was left alone, in a few days I found myself a part of the group, of best & brilliant students.

And that friendship gradually changed me. There was visible changes in my dressing, my handwriting & homework & studies. I started getting good marks in all the test papers..& that continued till I graduated as the top student, from college.

Visiting the public library outside school just to chat with these friends, later helped in developing a reading habit. The prizes I got for essay & elocution competitions were many. The group of 7 friends dispersed after school. Jane a teacher, 2 doctors, 2 bank managers, 1 owns a famous boutique . But me??
My traditional upbringing didn’t allow me to continue further studies, & the only option was to get married, & here I’m . How I wished to do a post graduation in English Literature!!

Oh! I was telling something about those chits, the messages passed between friends during class hours. That was great fun. We would tear a piece of paper mostly the brown paper cover of the books & write teasing the teachers or girls outside our group, or all that girl-girl talks. The day starts with a rose flower wrapped in that chit. All groups followed this.

As the teacher turns to the blackboard, these chits would start passing. Many a times we were caught & punished. Sometimes it gets in the wrong hands, just like musical chair it stops on the way, as the teacher turns. After reading she’ll surely pass it on to the teacher. It was fun, great fun. And now Jane says my messages were all poetic, romantic, & had good imagination too. Ho ho!!! I never knew that.

I know girls today exchange the same fun through their cell phones, but they get deleted. But my friend Jane kept our friendship alive all these 42 years..

Should a young man marry an older woman?

According to an article on  the net, there  is a craze among the present lot of young  men  in the USA to marry  a woman  as old his own mother or  even older! You’d say, “Horrible ! What’s wrong with these fellows?”  Well, they have their own reasons,  you know?

Here is their logic for  their choice.:

(a)   Many of them haven’t experienced the love of their own mother, more possibly because she had died very early in life or had eloped with another man leaving you behind with your father.

A  very logical reason indeed  but it could back fire also.  In India, a man did marry such an old woman.  He venerated her to the sky and enjoyed all her affections.  But when he approached her for sex, he couldn’t go ahead.  His mother’s picture played before his eyes. “How could  you do it with your own mother, idiot?” a voice would say. Ultimately he had to divorce her and went in  for an younger woman.

(b)  The single older women are invariably rich with stacks of money to  throw about.  So why not enjoy her money  and give her a human   company in return which she very much needed?

I  like this fellow, you know?  He is a lazy bum  all right who expects money to  come to him and not the other way around. For easy money, he could have  waylaid  people and robbed them, or killed a  helpless woman  and taken away all her money from her handbag; in other words he could have  become a ‘mugger’  of some expertise in New   York streets.

He doesn’t do all those anti people actions being an honest fellow in heart  who   depends on God for his sustenance than on himself . In short, he is a    great friend of the society and could think of no harm to it by  his   vagabond  behavior.  Good.   A grand lady offers herself  as a bride in response to his Ad and he marries her for her money.  He doesn’t mind an older woman as his bed – mate !

We need more such honest fellows in our society, don’t you think?

(c) Our next client wants sincere love from a woman and he feels older women are more capable of it than the young ones.  And he  marries one who is 30 years older to him and  they live happily without producing  even a single child.

I like him too. He had got the  best of both the worlds – money and  love.  Probably in the reverse direction he has given the lady much love  too  which she  might have missed out in her earlier married  life. And he in return, would have  received  unconditional devotion from his   elderly wife.  He is an earning member himself too. And so  they have so much  of money that he had  ordered a Rolls  Royce car   from England; when the car arrives they would travel in it like royals and visit all the  restaurants for their daily   dinner.  I admire him for another reason. His true  intention was   only to provide the ‘lost love’ for the old lady but using her own money and nothing else.

(d) But then the next is a sad case and you have to sympathize  with the poor fellow.  Young Murphy, 25, who wasn’t  earning enough and saw no possibility of his salary bill ever going up either, decided to marry any rich single older woman.  And one Dorothy, 65, delighted at the prospects,   married young Murphy in less then 48 hours.  [How come? Are there so  many single women in the States  ready to  plunge into the marriage deal!] Murphy was almost like her son  and had all the money he wanted.  “Oh boy, he  was the  most happiest groom on Earth !”   But then, the urges of  his young age started pestering him. Even through his college days , he had been yearning  for a nice young thing to  lay her head on his lap and sing serenades.  He did realize this grand  dream at last but only as a married man.  When he was on his third secret escapade, Dorothy caught him red handed.  She took him home, put him on the bed and  spanked him left right and centre until he promised that he would never look at an young woman  ever again.

So, If you think that everyone marries the older generation only for love and warmth, you need to correct your perceptions.  People have other motives too.   But not all are cheats.

My hats  off  to a fellow who married  a   35 year old widow with two kids, 3 and 1, in order to give her an   extended  and protected second  married life.   He was 27 then.

And don’t get away with the  impression that such things happen only in the West or particularly in the  USA.  It happens in India as well but on a  completely  different wavelength.  Some pretty and adventurous young women  opt to  marry famous film stars or leading TV stars.  Film stars normally don’t   like to marry  one from  their own  clan. Possibly they feel the other side has   greener pastures.   So when a bomb shell, just  out of college and an ex-beauty  queen of the institution, wants to marry him, he goes head  over heels and  marries her without delay pinning his hopes on a stable and   enjoyable  married life.  In less than a year they are divorced.  The case itself has been   initiated by the girl. On what g rounds, you ask? Oh, one can invent many.  Ask any Divorce lawyer  and he would lead you into the  right angle.   Do you  know why?  She would get a large alimony, a house and a heavy monthly   allowance too.  The Supreme court of India has ruled that a divorcee woman    should lead a life similar to the one she was used to with  the man she was   divorcing. Film stars do give their spouse a good and luxurious life in a posh   bungalows.

A good business trick, eh?

———————